Good friend planning her wedding the day after mine.

Let it go.
You get one date. She gets one date.
Itd be inconsiderate if she planned it on the same date as yours.
Best of luck

I definitely think its inconsiderate for her ton knowingly doing it on the same weekend as yours. Especially if you were considering having her in your bridal party. My best advice would be to go to her ceremony considering that is the most important reason of why you are getting married. My Fiancé and I were in a similar boat we get back from our honeymoon and a week later he is in his best mans wedding as his best man. I would talk over your concern and say you can only make the ceremony.

That does kind of suck, but I am guessing that date either meant something or was the best option for her and her FH. Regardless, while it's disappointing, I wouldn't question your friendship with her over just that.

You have no idea why she chose that date, so while you can be upset about it, I don’t think it’s fair to say she’s not a good friend because of this.

View Quoted Comment Problem is our weddings are in 2 different states over 3 hours appart.... plus I have a whole weekend planned with my guests since it's a beach wedding and everyone is traveling for the wedding.

Unless you have multiple close friends who will also have to choose which to attend, this isn't really an issue. Maybe it's the only day that works for their families? I mean, I'm sure I have SOMEONE on my guest list who will be travelling or otherwise unavailable for my wedding. That doesn't make them a bad friend.

View Quoted Comment It's not that she won't attend that makes her a bad friend..... it's the fact that she knows my date and knows I wanted to be at hers and her to be at mine and we've talked about it so many times and now she's picking the same weekend knowing it will be impossible because of distance and obviously we will both be busy with wedding prep and everything going on

View Quoted Comment Her life doesn't revolve around you. There is a chance she forgot especially if she had to ask when yours was again.

Did she say why she is going to have it that weekend or the following weekend? I personally wouldn’t plan my wedding so close to the wedding of a good friend unless I really didn’t have a choice because that’s inconsiderate. So I do think she’s being a bad friend unless she has a good reason to have her wedding so close to yours, which I suppose is possible but it sounds like from your post she didn’t really give you a reason, which is odd to me...

View Quoted Comment She said she always wanted to have it around her grandmother's birthday which I guess is between the two dates she's choosing between..... as much as I can understand that I still think it's crazy that she won't budge and is planning it right around my wedding.... even one more weekend away would allow her to come to mine and me to go to hers. I'm really disappointed.

You may be hurt but like you she picked a time she wanted to get married. My friend tried to get me to change the date because our other friend had a cousins wedding the same weekend. I love my date and I was not going to change it for one person. Turns out the other wedding isn't even the same weekend and my friend still isn't coming.

Long story short let it go like pp said. If she isn't in your wedding party then she wasn't a super close friend anyways. You don't own the weekend of or after your wedding.

She probably has so many people to work around when selecting her date (parents/grandparents for both her and FH), siblings, vendor availability, other close friends. I just don't think it's realistic to expect a friend to plan their date around you.

Id be super mad.

Maybe her dream venue was only available for those dates. Or her family could only attend then.. there might be different reasons. Unless she is just doing out of some sort of spite? I mean i wouldnt want to have a wedding the same week as my friend's wedding is. Who'd want that?

View Quoted Comment Exactly. I don't get why she would do that. Especially because her venue is her mom's horse farm. She obviously could use that whenever and she never said there was a certain reason for picking that date like venue or church or whatever.

My sister got married on 6/9/17 and her husband's brother got married on 6/11/17. They KNOWINGLY planned it that way which was crazy to me lol but the guys' family lives about 18 hours away so I guess that was a good reason my sister and brother-in-law waited to leave on there honeymoon until his brothers wedding was over. I know it's a little unorthodox but if she is someone you feel like you would be really sad if she didn't make it and your FH is okay with it something like that could potentially work. If it's not that strong of a relationship that you need her there then I would say just try to let it go. I would ask her why she planned for this day though because if it doesn't have significant meaning to her or something you could try to talk to her and say " I really love you and I would be so sad if we didn't make it to each other's weddings is there any way you'd be will to postpone for an extra week" sorry this was all over the place lol good luck

View Quoted Comment Thank you. Yea I already did say that to her and she basicly blew me off. I guess she doesn't really care. My problem is we are planning our wedding 3 hours away from home and have alot of people coming in the for the whole week to be down there with us so it's gonna be tough or impossible to make it to hers unless she moves it back.

View Quoted Comment Yeah that's so tough it sounds like you are more invested in the friendship than she is.. it really hurts when something like this happens I'm going through a similar situation with one of my friends not with wedding drama but other things I'm sorry that you are going through it. Just try to be happy for yourself and FH and enjoy your wedding with the people that love you guys and try not to think about it if she doesn't change her plans, some people just aren't worth it I have learned this the hard way.... And CONGRATULATIONS on your wedding!!!!

View Quoted Comment Thank you Janet! I will let it go eventually. I'm just upset about it. I would never do that to my friend so it's upsetting that one of my friends would.