Girls (not strippers) at the bachelor party

Sounds like they were worried what their boyfriends or husbands were doing and had to go keep a eye on the them....

P.S thank you for validating my "this is kinda weird" feelings

@Nattie if you're looking to not cause drama, that comment you said was passive agressive which is what you want to avoid. I would just be straight up. "Hey, in the days after our parties I've heard you decided to go to Bob's bachelor party instead of mine. Just wondering what changed?"

Milwaukee is like an hour from Chicago, so it's not like they couldn't have driven the hour if they were there all night anyway.

Its the BM that would upset me, not so much the cousin. BC the BM is suppose to be someone close to you. 1. she didn't come (bad enough) to yours 2. she gave a lame excuse, like she would be hanging out with her uncle the hours a bach would be going on.... ummmm no. 3. then she goes to your FH's party (uninvited, and knowing you're going to know). She sounds like a bad friend. Is she close friends w/ FH or really his friend and you only know her through him. BC other the insure just wanting to monitor her man thing thats the only reason I can think of, even still it was completely out of line for a BM. The other one had already said she wasn't attending so that one is weird but I wouldn't be upset.

I wouldn't start with "So I heard...", it implies you're already gossiping/upset about it. I would just straight up ask how it was/did they have fun/why did they go. It sounds like you're pretty good friends so that shouldn't be too hard.

I'm sure they didn't go with intentions of making it awkward for you. But maybe are now realizing it. I would just say "FH said you were at the party! Did it seem like he had a good time?"

Maybe put it off as you're hoping your FH had a good time, but also letter her know that you know she went there.

I don't think it's weird for females to attend a bachelor party. I've attended a couple for male friends (all just a night out at bars, not with strippers or anything). And I wouldn't have attended the bachelorette as I didn't know the fiancee wel.

The weird part is the backing out on you and lying part. I think others are right though - either they were sticking with their SO for some reason or decided yours was too far/expensive/etc. Not good excuses for lying though. I probably would just ignore it, though. They know what they did, they have to know you know what they did. Bringing it up will cause drama, intentionally or not.

Also... if I was the SO of the BM who showed up, I would be embarrassed honestly. It's almost like they showed up just so they could keep an eye on their guys.

Not to be an a hole but I'm going to be on the opposite end of this a little bit...

First I just want to say yes I think its weird they joined your FH's bach. Were they with them the WHOLE night or did they just meet them out? Because that will make a little difference. But from the sounds of it I kind of understand. The girls father and uncle (assuming they are cousins) wanted to spend time with him. If my dad/unlce was coming home from Poland I would want to be with him as much as possible and wouldn't want to spend 2 days at your destination bach party, no offense. I doubt they didn't go to yours because they wanted to go to your FHs instead. It just so happened that they could join in the party with them as well as be with their family.

Where I do think its weird they went its not that crazy. I would be let down but I probably wouldn't say anything. Like you said its over and done with so you can't change it. Plus it still sounds like you had fun and so did your FH so no reason to damper the mood.

Sounds more to me like they are insecure in their relationships and either wanted to keep an eye on them or are "those girls" who can't stand to have a night out without being attached at the hip to their guy. Both are eye roll worthy.

I'd say you're validated in your "wtf" feelings.

OP if it makes you feel any better, I had a semi similar situation. My bach was also in Milwaukee, we stayed at the Potawatami and went to the sugar shack (it was a blast!). The same night FH had his bachelor party at our house in IL. One of our BMs is his childhood female friend. She doesn't drive and works weekends, so things like that can be hard for her. She wasn't able to ride up with us, but her mom was able to drop her off at the strip club. She came back with us to the hotel for a bit and her mom's boyfriend who is a DJ happened to be working a gig in Milwaukee and was able to pick her up around midnight from the hotel, as she had to work at like 1:00 the next day and we didn't know if we would be able to get her back in time. When she got home I heard that she showed up to FH's bachelor party, I think she just didn't want to call it a night. There was also a friend of FH and mine that couldn't attend my party because she doesn't get off work until 11:00 pm and she swung by his party. Neither of them told me, but they both had valid reasons why they did and I understand. Plus FH ended up falling asleep before they got there because he came down with a bad headache and went to bed early while everyone else was out having a bonfire in our backyard.

As for your situation, the only thing that would really bother me about that would be that they didn't tell you about it. I mean it sucks they bailed on your party and went to his instead. I can sort of understand if their visit with the family member made it difficult to make it to Milwaukee, but they were able to stop by a more local party. But it would have been nice if they at least told you about it. I assume that they know that you would find out about it, if not then they are pretty thick. I can understand how you would feel a bit odd about it though. If it bothers you then I would just casually mention it, like you said about "oh, i heard you had a good time at my FH's bachelor party" or something like that. That way they at least know that you know about it and they can comment on it if they so choose. I wouldn't worry too much about it though. You still had fun and so did he. So I would try to not let it bother you.

Ok. So no passive aggressive texts, I can do that. If it continues to bug me, I will straight up say something like what AthenaKay and others mentioned.

The thing is Milwaukee isn't that much of a destination for us, its like 90 min. One of the other girls had to work during the day on Saturday and came up later in the night, she also left early on Sunday so its doable even if they wanted to spend time with family.

And even with that, go spend time with family, that is totally cool and I absolutely support that, we will party another time... but don't decide to do it that morning and leave the girls having to pay extra

Everyone has pretty much covered it. Seems weird but probably explainable, try not to be passive aggressive. Also, I hate Milwaukee so I don't blame them for passing on that trip.

I have something similar to this. I invited my FH friend that is a girl to my bachelorette party, well she said she couldnt go because her grandpa is in the hospital in critical care. Come to find out, thanks to FaceBook...I saw her out the night of my party. Now my FH is telling me that her and her friend and husband are going to go out with my FH for his bachelor party. I should not be mad because they are HIS friends, and I met them through him, but its a BACHELOR party, for GUYS. You said you couldnt come to mine, whatever haha....just saying I had something similar, who knows if she will go to his or not, but its rude. RANT OVER lol =]

I'm sorry but i would be pretty F*&#*@@ pissed. I would ask her what the hell is up and give her a chance to explain herself. If she feeds you a crock of crap, call her out on it and leave the ball in her court, If by any chance she has a legitimate excuse, excuse her. I'd still be pissed. good luck!

Idk why its so weird to some people to have a girl show up at the FH's bachelor party if they're childhood friends with him. I know if my best friend got married and had a BH party, and his FW got pissy at me for showing up and supporting my best friend I've been neighbors with since the day I was BORN, then I wouldn't even bother trying to explain to her. I'm there for him, not her. Just sayin'.