Gifts at a destination wedding

Well, if people had to travel, they have only been able to afford the travel to the wedding. I think you should always bring a gift, even its small, but I do know of people who believe their travel to a wedding is the gift because of the money spent to be there.

Not one gift? Not even a congratulations gift card?? I would be a little upset too, but the upside is you guys had guest who were special to you that came and supported your wedding. In a way that was a gift.

Did you even get a congratulations card?

I had the same question as @Pinky. Any congratulatory cards at all? Generally, I'd expect to see far less gifts at a destination wedding due to travel costs for the guests. But I am surprised that not even one guest gave a gift.

We did put on the website that we would have a box for flat gifts such as cards. The box was completely empty. Not even a card.

Maybe the note on the website stating that you would have a box for flat gifts didn't go over well with the guests? It could be seen as asking for cash. I don't think it is that far out of the box to think people might not give gifts at a DW considering the expense they have to get there, but a card at least should have happened. Gifts are never mandatory but I think not even receiving a congratulatory card is pretty bad.

I am stumped by the fact you didn't get any cards. We had a 50 guest wedding and got cards from everyone. Second marriage for both of us so didn't expect gifts, but we did get a few - wine, gift cards. No cash gifts.

How old are you? Is this a second marriage? I would still expect at least cards. I am so sorry your wife is upset

The note on your website may have offended some people. To me it sound like you are asking for cash. Personally I would have at least given you a card, but I probably wouldn't put a check in it unless we are really close. Your guests likely paid a lot of money for travel, accomedations, etc to come to your wedding, I wouldn't expect a lot of gifts on top of that.

I agree with PP.

1. They all traveled for your wedding, airfare, lodging, food is not cheap. I am not sure why she expected a bunch of gifts? their gift was their presence at your wedding.

2. The comment on the website sounded like you were expecting money from them. You should've left that out. Most likely offended those who spent all that money/time getting to you.

I agree it sucks, but it could've been handled better. If you had just had a local wedding and not made comments directing your guests how to gift. Oh well. Sorry to hear she's upset.

The only thing I can think of is that your guests felt like you were asking for cash and they didn't want to give cash. I am surprised no one even wrote you a card...

I seem to be the only one who feels that gifts are not required for a wedding, although it is, of course, generally considered rude to not bring one EXCEPT to a destination wedding. That said, you need to remember that not only did your guests incur expenses above and beyond what they would have at a regular wedding, they likely also had to take off a much larger block of time. She should be glad so many people were able to come.

Because you and your guests were traveling, they probably felt that gifts would be a hassle. Maybe some will be shipped to your home.

I also hope that you will have some sort of gifts mailed to you because maybe they did not want to take it with them? I would be very upset as well for not even getting a card I'm sorry, but I think people can put in a little effort to say congratulations. I feel terrible for you guys. We are also having a DW and do not have a registry. We stated that "your presence is our gift to us" and yet more than half of our guests keep bugging our wedding planner for a gift registry.

I'm so sorry

Not even a card? Wow, that's crazy. Could there have been a chance that someone could have taken them when no one was looking? To me it's poor etiquette for a guest to not at least bring a congrats card.

We had a sort of local wedding. Most guests were within 3 hours driving time of the venue and didn't fly. We did get gifts at the wedding but We still got a lot of gifts shipped to our home for ease. We had gifts sent up to 3 months after and guests technically have a year to send them.