Gift for Officiant?

I don't think it's necessary if they're not actually your bridal party.

Our officiant is FH uncle who is a pastor. We donated to a charity he helps run and have a nice thank you card and bottle of wine. Even though nothing was expected we wanted to do something nice for him since he's helping with our day!

I think since it is his birthday it would be nice to give him something small. Maybe a gift card? Or donate to a charity like J said in his name. But other than that I wouldn't do anything else. You are paying for him to do your wedding.

You should at least acknowledge the priest's birthday with a card and heartfelt note of gratitude and congratulations.

Doesn't your church charge a pretty hefty fee, to hold the ceremony there? I wouldn't tip the wedding facilitator. And if she's really that lousy, take your complaint to a higher authority.

Thank you everyone for the advice. Yes, we definitely will be giving a birthday card and I think a gift card to a grocery store. I am debating having our baker make a small birthday cake for him as well (hopefully it isn't an outrageous price - if it is, then maybe we can just go elsewhere to get it made).

@Beach Babe - yeah, I would say it's a good amount of money, though I think it could be worse. so in their brochure its: “$300 for the church; $225 for the clergy stipend; $200 for the organist; and $150 for the wedding facilitator” - we have to pay all that no matter what and that doesn't include a vocalist (we are trying to figure out if one will be allowed since its during Lent). As for the facilitator - I'm going to try to be patient before saying anything (we haven't actually met yet, so I'm hoping once we do meet, things will change).

Good Morning, Initially we were getting married in the Catholic Church. We were told to donate to the priest after the ceremony. An average donation is around $200. Then we also had to pay the clergy, altar boys, vocalist, organist and wedding coordinator. The organist and vocalist also got "donations". It is also expected to invite the priest and the coordinator to the reception although they probably won't go.

@Jennifer - isn't the clergy stipend the cost for the priest? I guess I'm just a little confused, I know typically a donation is given but I thought that it also depends if you are a member of the church and give regularly. (I know that any flowers are donated but I didn't think there would be an "extra" monetary donation due to the cost of the church and priest/clergy, as well as our weekly donation). I could totally be wrong though...

We will be inviting the priest to the dinner but didn't think about inviting the wedding facilitator. I guess maybe we should add her to our list? She isn't the facilitator/coordinator for the reception (only the ceremony).

It is definitely a little confusing since you give a large "donation" to get married in that church. We sent him $100 cash after the wedding with a thank you note. They don't expect it, but it is nice for them to have a little spending money of their own.

What FutureMrsZ said.....They have their fees and then you "donate" in addition to that. I personally wouldn't have wanted to invite our coordinator anyway but after talking to everyone else that got married in the church it seemed the normal thing to do.

Meanwhile, we ended up having a completely different vision for our wedding than our church anyway, so we ended up changing our ceremony to a Catholic ceremony done by a reverend at our reception site.

@FutureMrsZ and @Jennifer

Do you think a $50 gift card (for groceries) and a birthday cake is enough or should we do a little more?

Do you have to pay/give a donation to use the church? I assume you're also leaving your altar flowers. That is gift enough.

@annakay - I am paying to using the church ($300) and paying for the clergy stipend ($225), plus the cost of the organist and wedding facilitator (plus a vocalist). I will be leaving the limited flowers (because it is lent we are only allowed "two VERY small floral vases"). As for any 'extra' donation, I thought I read somewhere that it also depends what you contribute annually (or weekly basis) - so I am unsure if I should be providing an extra donation.

I was thinking that as a thank you and since it's my priest's birthday the day we get married, a $50 grocery gift card and a birthday cake would be enough. However, now I am unsure if the $50 is enough.

My church only charges for the use of the church. We know deacon makes $50 a mass so originally we were going to give him that. But once our wedding was over and his homily was so awesome we ended up giving him $100.