Getting Married by a Friend in Either PA or NY

I think your best bet would be to call up the county clerk for both Delaware County PA and Westchester County NY. Speaking to someone will probably get you a better (and correct) answer.

I looked into this for NY state. From what I understand, the wedding could happen, they won't stop you, but it may not be recognized as a legal marriage in the court system. So we decided to just hire an officiant. It was very hard to get a definite answer out of anyone about it.

Good luck!

No, you cant. I wanted the same thing (getting married in a week in Richboro). I called the courthouse for verification and here's a link that is fairly clearl:

http://marriage.about.com/cs/marriagelicenses/p/pennsylvania.htm

One alternative in Pennsylvania is a self-uniting marriage. Originally developed for Quakers, it allows you to get married without an officiant at all. You could then have whoever you wanted as a sort of master of ceremonies for your ceremony, without having to worry about the officiant's qualifications.

Call the clerks in PA and in NY. You are going to get conflicting information. The safest thing to do is to get married by the clerk in PA or in NYC and then have a marriage that is technically a vow renewal.

I looked into this as well. It seems in PA that York County struck it down but Philadelphia and Montgomery counties affirmed it. I'm not sure about Delaware County so I would suggest as other's said to call the clerk.

I would not rely on what the clerks said. The problem is that even if the clerk says it's okay, and the marriage certificate is issued, the validity of the marriage could be challenged in a later court proceeding (e.g., on death, divorce, or bankruptcy), at which point it would be too late to fix the problem. I would either use the self-uniting marriage (in Pennsylvania) or follow Celia's suggestion about having a JOP wedding first.

We looked into it (we live in Delco PA as well) and decided that it was too risky. We really felt strongly about having this friend officiate though, so we are sneaking off to the courthouse in the morning before our wedding to get legally married — no one will know but us!

@2d bride, I hadn't heard of that self-uniting marriage before, very interesting, but it's mentioned in the link that Sharron provided — there are notes that a few PA counties denied that that was allowed, so William, make sure you triple check if you decide to go any of these routes!

Whatever you do, tell your parents, okay? I know it sounds really dumb, but that's not a pretense you want to keep up for your life together.

Where in Delaware county are you getting married...call the court house if you need the # PM i have it some where or can get it for you since I live in Delaware county

@Kristen G.: The Allegheny case mentioned was resolved by the courts in the couple's favor. The order can be found here. Self-uniting marriages are permitted in Pennsylvania; about.com just hasn't caught up.

The Universal Life Church is quite pointless in quite a few states. Each state has its own set of requirements and you need to check with wherever the marriages will take place. I am "ordained" with ULC but in my state, you have to be a notary.

I just got a message back from the authors of the about.com site, and they have promised to update their Pennsylvania page to reflect that self-uniting marriage is available in Pennsylvania.