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Brooke
Savvy October 2021

Getting legally married this year and having wedding next year?

Brooke, on August 10, 2020 at 11:49 PM Posted in Planning 0 4
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Hi!

My wedding was planned for April 17, 2021 and we recently made the decision to postpone for October 02, 2021. We feel really good about it, honestly a little relived. (The gift of more time). Every single guest has to travel for the wedding and we just feel better/hoping travel restrictions get better by then.

Anyways, my fiancé and I are planning on getting legally married this year, November 18, 2020. This will be our one year anniversary of our engagement. We want it to just be us and our officiant (who will also do our wedding ceremony next year). My question is, would you tell your friends and family? We are planning on doing everything 'as normal' next year for our wedding. Ceremony, first dance, all of that. After we get legally married, should we wear rings this year? What would you do? We are worried about getting legally married now and then feeling like 'whats the point' for the wedding next year so we aren't sure what to do. Should I wear a white dress and carry a bouquet for our 'ceremony' this year? I'm completely lost on how to do this.

We did think about instead of exchanging rings this year maybe we can buy each other something else and wear a necklace/bracelet/watch something like that for this year and also wear it on our wedding day next year as it's part of our story. What do you think?

Thank you for any advice!

4 Comments

Latest activity by Adrienne, on August 11, 2020 at 3:05 PM
  • Jessica
    Master September 2020
    Jessica ·
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    I would definitely tell people you got married. I’ve seen several people post about family getting upset when they found out after the second wedding that the couple already got legally married previously. A lot of people are planning private or very small ceremonies to get legally married this year and having the big wedding and reception next year, I don’t see any issue. That is a backup plan if something forces us to cancel, and we would just call it a vow renewal ceremony. Personally, I would wear my ring, but that’s completely up to the two of you. The ring is merely a symbol of the commitment, some people chose not to wear rings at all and that’s perfectly okay too.
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  • Laquita
    Expert July 2021
    Laquita ·
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    I'd probably tell people if you do choose to get legally married this year because 1) people will think that you have been married for less time and 2) it also looks like your new wedding date is different than your planned date to marry this year, this would pose a problem with no one really knowing your true anniversary date. I'd just say you got married, but will treat the ceremony next year as a renewal. I'm sure people will be unhappy to know the date of your wedding isn't actually the day you got married.

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  • W
    Devoted October 2020
    Waitingtomarry20 ·
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    My husband and eloped at the courthouse Nov 2019 because we had a family tragedy earlier in the year and couldn’t find a better time to have a wedding.
    My husband suggested not to say anything because we were planning to celebrate our wedding that we didn’t get to have. He didn’t want to ruin the surprise. The original date was May 2020 and had to move to Oct 2020 with plans to celebrate with family and friends.
    Now we are down to just celebrating with my mom and his parents. We are planning to tell them after Oct. It’s still a wedding in my eyes. For the courthouse wedding, I wore a white lace midi dress and some bridal jewelry. No bouquet, but you can get something small from the grocery store if you want.As for now, I wear my ring. He doesn’t wear anything right now. I like the your idea of a watch or bracelet, so that way you can wear it on your wedding day as a reminder of this celebration and what you guys have gone through.
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  • A
    Devoted October 2021
    Adrienne ·
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    We will not keep it a secret, we will wear our rings and even show people photos of the minimony if they ask. We didn't put in our Change the Dates that we are getting married anyway on the original date because we didn't want to confuse anyone, but we are telling them verbally, again when they ask or talk about it with us. Our ceremony this year will still be essentially the same as what will happen at the big wedding - dress, bouquets, music, full bridal party, etc. But we are still excited for next year when we can have all ~120 friends and family celebrate with us. I imagine it will feel like a relief that day because we will already be married, so we won't be as stressed about things going wrong.

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