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August skies
Super August 2016

Getting a perm AND highlights before the wedding??

August skies, on June 14, 2016 at 4:46 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 25

OK, so here's my deal. My hair SUCKS at holding a curl. I want to get a perm because FH and I really like the way my hair looks with it permed, also my hair stylist suggested it to help it stay curled on our wedding day. So I will be doing that. But I also am toying around with the idea of getting highlights. I've heard it's not good for your hair to do both, but I don't really do much damage to my hair on a regular basis to begin with. I never blow dry or curl it except for very special occasions, and I haven't colored it since middle school (I'm almost 21 now). My hair is boob length and dark if it helps. I know you can get both done if they're far enough apart, but my wedding is on August 6th. Any advice on what to do? Thanks!

25 Comments

Latest activity by Jordan, on June 14, 2016 at 7:52 PM
  • kiandra
    Master October 2016
    kiandra ·
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    I am not a stylist or anything nor do I get perms but I do know you shouldn't do relaxers and colors at the same time so I would imagine the same would apply for perms and color. In short I would advise against it

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  • Leelee
    VIP September 2018
    Leelee ·
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    People still get perms? I'm not trying to be rude, I am genuinely curious because I have completely straight hair and never hear anyone talk about perms anymore. I wanted one so badly when I was little and my mom told me it was a terrible idea. It was probably for the best...

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  • patches
    Super June 2016
    patches ·
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    Just forewarning not everyones hair will hold a perm. I spent $120 on one and it fell out before my friend was even finished with her hair. The stylist insisted it was done correctly and apologized. Walked out with very damaged hair, still as straight as when I walked in.

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  • Dij
    VIP May 2018
    Dij ·
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    What kiandra c said

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  • August skies
    Super August 2016
    August skies ·
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    I've gotten my hair permed before (it doesn't last for very long, about 3 months which is why I'm waiting), but it does hold for me pretty well for a little bit. LES, it's a body perm. Not an 80s poodle perm lol. It looks a little ridiculous for the first 2 days or so but then it starts relaxing and getting more loose. Idk, it's not super huge and stupid looking. It's easy for me to style (which is great for me because I have neither the talent nor patience to do ANYTHING with my hair). FH likes it as well.

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  • Kayla
    VIP September 2016
    Kayla ·
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    Having not seen your hair, this is what I do with clients interested in both.

    Only if the hair is in great condition:

    Perm your hair, follow all guidelines and suggestions for caring for permed hair. I will only color/highlight hair after 2 weeks, ONLY if the hair is in suitable condition.

    Just because you don't damage your hair with heat tools, doesn't mean you hair is in great condition. I've seen plenty of damaged hair over the years, and if it isn't due to over processing(with color or tools) it's due to using horrible shampoo/conditioner, well water, swimming, or just improper use of shampoo/conditioner.

    Ask your stylist.

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  • MrsGill
    Expert August 2016
    MrsGill ·
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    I've had 2 perms and I loved them, I will be getting another one a bit after the wedding, dont highlight until at least months and months after because there is already so many chemicals in your hair, The last perm I had I got highlights 2months after and my hair actually started to smoke and burn so yeah don't do it!!!!

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  • August skies
    Super August 2016
    August skies ·
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    Thanks for your input. Kinda bummed but I probably won't do highlights. I have enough trouble justifying forking $100+ on a perm in the first place but I think I'll stick with just a perm.

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  • GymRat
    Master May 2017
    GymRat ·
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    I don't know what your hair type is but as an African American, you cannot get a relaxer and color at the same time. However, I get a relaxer (perm) and a RINSE at the same time.

    Honestly, this should be a question for a professional.

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  • Leelee
    VIP September 2018
    Leelee ·
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    Thanks for the explanation @August skies! I looked body perm up on Pinterest and it looks so pretty. I love curly hair.

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  • August skies
    Super August 2016
    August skies ·
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    @gymrat- I'm white and have dark brown hair, on the thick side. My worry with doing both is that my hair is kinda dry towards the bottom. I'm not sure why, I use conditioner and don't use any heat on it except once or twice a year. My hair is super frustrating though because it doesn't listen lol. I can't tame it, I can't style it, I can't even change it up and part it differently. It is what it wants to be lol.

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  • MsRtoMrsB
    Devoted July 2016
    MsRtoMrsB ·
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    I would avoid doing anything out of the ordinary, without a trial, which you don't have time for. Better to work with what you have than to deal with something you completely hate! Chat with your hair professional and see what they think will be best for you.

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  • Kayla
    VIP September 2016
    Kayla ·
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    August: the hair at the bottom is most likely dry for these reasons:

    You are using the wrong conditioner.

    You are using the conditioner incorrectly.

    You need a deep conditioner that you use 1-2 times a month.

    Plus a few other things, but those are usually the main issues.

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  • Kimi
    Master August 2016
    Kimi ·
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    On the other side, some people's hair hold perms extremely well. Mine do not relax or fall out at all. You have to be prepared to grow that out. Which means half straight half permed at times esp for hair longer than shoulder length. I would be really hesitant to do anything this close to the wedding, as there is no time to fix it if you hate it.

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  • Niki
    Master June 2016
    Niki ·
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    K so, here is the problem. General wisdom is, hair that is more than 50% lightened absolutely cannot be permed. Some stylists ignore this, but in my personal opinion.. they shouldnt. It is incredibly damaging.

    Even a perm on its own... honestly, 2 months before your wedding is not the time to start experimenting with something that can go so incredibly wrong and is simultaneously VERY hard to fix without further damage once its done.

    Do you have a photo of what you're expecting from a perm? I find a lot of people have unrealistic expectations when it comes to them - 99% of the photos I'm shown are the result of good styling and have nothing to do with the type of results a perm will give.

    Your hair is dry on the bottom because once hair reaches a certain length, its tough for the natural oils of the scalp to reach those ends. You likely need something more moisturizing, regular deep conditioning treatments, and to really focus your conditioner on your ends when washing. I promise you, a good stylist can tame your hair and give you a lasting style with the use of heat tools, invisible roller sets, and good products without you needing to resort to a perm.

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  • SoonToBeMrsS.
    Super May 2017
    SoonToBeMrsS. ·
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    I agree with what Niki said about experimenting so close to the wedding bit if you have had a permanent before and know you like it then this is my professional recommendation. Do the perm asap. As for a beach wave perm and explain you don't want tight curls. 2 weeks after the perm schedule a appointment for a strengthening conditioning treatment where they add moisture and protein back into your hair. It's normally a pretty quick appointment. Then about 3 weeks before your wedding schedule the highlights. This is a good amount of time for them to still look fresh for your wedding and if you don't like them it is enough time to fix them. Hope that makes sense.

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  • SoonToBeMrsS.
    Super May 2017
    SoonToBeMrsS. ·
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    Also request for them to do another strengthening/conditioning treatment right after your highlights. I.e the same appointment.

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  • August skies
    Super August 2016
    August skies ·
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    The perm isn't what I'm worried about. I've had them, I know how my hair reacts, I know I like them and I know when to get it so that it looks relaxed and exactly how I want it on my wedding day. My concern is the highlights (which I would like but haven't gotten since middle school, and have never gotten combined with a perm). I'm for sure getting the perm, but I wanted to see if anyone had any input or experience with getting highlights and perms at the same time. That being said, I'm concerned my hair is too dry and as it's far too late to do a trial run, I think I'll play it safe and only get the perm, which I know I'll like, and skip highlights altogether and not risk my hair being fried or looking shitty :p

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  • August skies
    Super August 2016
    August skies ·
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    Vjgaff- steal away! I'm actually going to bed right now (#GraveyardShift) so take the floor! Smiley winking

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  • Kelly
    Super October 2016
    Kelly ·
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    Another thing to consider...if your hair is pretty dark, highlights at first may only pull to a certain level and can be very brassy. I have a couple dark haired clients that have to get highlights a couple of times before they reached the desired lightness.

    Personally, I would go with whichever is more important to you. Perm to help hold curl or highlights, but I wouldn't do both.

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