Gender reveal and our wedding?

You are being selfish. A gender reveal is not a big thing like a wedding is, as long as its not during your wedding, and you are not required to go (if you don't want to, are unable, doing wedding stuff, etc) who cares. If you are excited for her and the new baby and available go and celebrate with her! That's what a sister/sil should do.

@linzey amen!!!

To defend the OP, a gender reveal party is not a baby shower. It's a creepy-ass second baby shower. It's like, "look at how many color-coded gender stereotypes I can validate in two hours!" Why do people even have these? Especially since gender is a social construct and this is really a "guess what genitalia my baby is expected to have" party. It's freaking weird and you bet your ass I'm not going to some weird ass baby genitalia party the morning after my wedding.

Listen, just because you are getting married does not mean the world is going to stop. I would be so mad and so hurt if I wanted to have this gender reveal (no matter how anyone feels about it, it is obviously important to them) and my brother and his wife didn't come because they were tired. You get one day. Not one weekend. It is so incredibly selfish of you to not even attempt to support them when they are going to be attending your wedding and supporting you.

Time to put on your big girl panties and suck it up. That's what families do for one another.

A little more grace and a lot less grouse is something to aim for.

@squirrel its not up to you to decide the importance of any celebration when it comes to someones child. First! There are no gifts at a gender reveal, the host supplies food and snacks. People gather and guess the babys sex, I have 3 children, I did NOT have a gender reveal because it wasn't important to me to throw a party for it. but finding out the sex of my baby was and extremely exciting and important part of the pregnancy process! Many friends have had them and I would never undermine their excitement and plans to celebrate, they want to fork out the money to have a party thats their decision. OP is selfish, a wedding is a huge a occasion, which in itself comes with multiple parties. Engagement, bridal shower, bachelorette, Rehearsal dinner, and then an all day event. A baby is also a huge occasion and if the parents to be want to have multiple celebrations then so be it!!

It's the day after, will you be tired yes, but I think you should still make an appearance, you only get one day and do you really want to be petty over this and possibly mess up relationships? let it go is the only advice I can give

I'd be kind of irritated, but at the same time I can see why they'd plan it out that way. A little lame, but nothing to be stressed about. Your wedding will still rock and be the main event.

Before I opened this, I thought someone was trying to have a gender reveal party AT your wedding. But fortunately that's not the case.

OP, it sounds like you're making a mountain out of a molehill. The gender reveal party will not upstage your wedding. And you'll probably have a good time if you go.

Meh, who cares. It's a different day, a different occasion, and gender reveal parties are dumb anyway. (And should be called sex reveals anyway, as it's sex and not gender that is being revealed, but whatever).

@SquirrelsInLove, I agree with the sentiment and personally find gender reveal parties odd. However, the OP has not expressed any similar sentiment regarding the societal issues of gender reveal parties, but rather focused on how it will take away from her big day.

This is one of the most childish things I've ever seen on here.

You got married. You planned a big party that you then attended. You didn't spend 15 hours building a house or doing some other sort of intense manual labor. You can push through your exhaustion and go to the party if you wanted, or instead sit around and sulk because someone else has a life. The day after my wedding I went out to lunch with some friends who were OOT guests and spent my Sunday like I would have if I hadn't gotten married the day before. I don't understand this "I just got married and I need to take days and weeks to recuperate" attitude. Whatever you think about gender reveals aside, this is ridiculous.

Beep beep - time to get on the Petty Express Mary!

Just sort of breezed through the comments, but I honestly don't see what the problem is. You are being a little selfish - you don't get the whole month. If this is the time that the whole family will be together, I think it's great to do as much celebrating as possible! For everyone, not just you. My wedding weekend turned into sort of a family reunion with people seeing each other after 10-20 years, and meeting my brothers girlfriend for the first time. We had a whole dinner the Friday before that had nothing to do with my wedding (aside from that being the reason they were there).

Repost:

Why do some brides think the world revolves around them?! Like many have already said, you get ONE day!! And a baby is equally important as a wedding! I lost my best friend of 15 years over this crap! She was getting married and I was pregnant. Her wedding was 2 months before I was due, my mom through me a baby shower the month before her bridal shower, purposely so nothing would interfere with her special day. Well that wasn't enough, she felt I should ignore the existence of the child growing inside me until her year was over, well screw that! People have lives and they change and move forward every day, not just you! Do not be rude and petty (<---- corrected) and be happy for the family you are joining! And a gender reveal takes maybe an hour all together, you cant spare an hour?!? Thats just ridiculous! Also I saw you say "why cant she do it in December" hmmmm maybe because you don't conceive and immediately know what your having, theres a time frame on it all!

They most likely will not even know the gender at Christmas.

It's her first child- I think you need to graciously let her enjoy her moment with this party and stop being petty and support your future family.

I get why you would be annoyed with the timing, but it does make sense that everyone will be in town and they want to do the party then. Just let them know that you may not be able to attend because you want to relax after the wedding. Or just show up at the party for a little bit. Everyone will understand.

Also, you keep saying that they should just announced the gender at Christmas. Depending on how far along the pregnancy is, that may not be an option. They can not tell the gender until a certain point in the pregnancy.

I would focus on your wedding and not worry about this. They seem to have made up their mind about having the party. At least they are not trying to announce the gender during your wedding.

Maybe I'm misunderstanding, but it sounds like OP's FSIL is planning to do her gender reveal party at the same time that OP's parents are hosting brunch. If that's the case, maybe FSIL isn't aware that you have plans for that morning for your OOT wedding guests. Please try to give her the benefit the doubt. Maybe if you talk to her, you can reach an agreement-- like, you'll agree to shorten brunch if she'll agree to have her party in the early afternoon. Maybe she could do her gender reveal at the post-wedding brunch! Usually that would involve cutting a cake that's dyed pink or blue on the inside, releasing colored balloons from a box, whatever she's going to do. It might be nice to have a combined celebration of the happy new additions to your FH's family-- you and baby.