Gender reveal and our wedding?

@Jay, wow that sounds awful!

Just chiming in to say that gender reveal parties are creepy. It makes sense that you're annoyed, but I think you probably also realize it's not that big of a deal at the end of the day.

I won't be busy anymore, but I'll be tired and hosting out of town guests. I mean I'm still annoyed, but it's whatever. I obviously won't go.

I won't be busy, but I know I'll be tired and still hosting out of town guests. I obviously won't be able to go. It's whatever.

You are not in the wrong! Its unfair for them to do that the same weekend as your wedding! It should be about you. You only get married one time, which the date is already set. They can have a gender reveal any other time! If they refuse to move the date I would not stress about going. Its not your fault they are being difficult. You have big things to worry about so put that behind you.

A brunch the day after the wedding is NOT unusual. In fact, it's common (not the gift opening part though). If the OPs parents are hosting a brunch, then obviously the OP will be there and she won't be able to attend the gender reveal. I'm assuming that some of the groom's family will be invited to the brunch as well, which will conflict with the gender reveal party. So, I actually don't think the gender reveal party makes sense for the day after the wedding and I think it's inconsiderate of the SIL. But there is probably nothing you can do about it Mary, other than tell them you're not available to attend the reveal.

@ Emily she stated it didn't conflict and she could actually go but would probably be too tired. Again she has her wedding day but can't tell people what to do the day after.

"I won't be busy, but I know I'll be tired and still hosting out of town guests. I obviously won't be able to go. It's whatever."

Then politely decline. I've missed plenty of my sisters' reveal parties. It's just as exciting finding out the gender through a video.

Is it annoying? Sure. Take 5 minutes to yourself and be upset about it. Then move on.

Your FSIL wants to celebrate a special occasion in her life. She's not trying to purposely inconvenience you or distract others from your wedding, she's trying to keep from having family travel so much. And you won't be able to go because you'll be tired? I'm sure all of the family will be tired from your wedding too, but they will manage because it's important to your fsil. You're not required to go of course and it's a personal choice, but don't just not attend out of spite. I'm sure it would make her very happy if you attend.

For the record- my experience with gender reveal parties have been nice (I've been to 2). There was food, gifts were not expected, and they only had close family and 1 or 2 friends attend, so it wasn't a huge affair. Just a time to celebrate something special with loved ones. Just my 2 cents on the parties, lol.

ETA: I'm confused, you say you're hosting a brunch so it's a conflict, but then you say you're not busy and you'll just be tired?

If you really will be hosting a brunch at that time then politely decline. I still wouldn't make a fuss over it, that's not how you want to start things off with your new in-laws.

@Dreaming - she said her parents are hosting a brunch and gift opening.

Mary, your posts are confusing. First you said your parents are hosting a brunch, and then you said you won't be busy, just tired. You're not making sense.

@emily OP seems to be confusing everyone by saying one minute it conflicts then turning around and saying this

"I won't be busy, but I know I'll be tired and still hosting out of town guests. I obviously won't be able to go. It's whatever."

ETA oops sorry Emily I see now that you saw the previous post of OPs I was referencing

Honestly, gender reveal is about the dumbest excuse I've ever heard to have a party. If they're planning on doing it at one of your wedding events (reception, after brunch, whatever) It's really rude and tacky IMO. But if they're just doing it the weekend of, not at any wedding related events, albeit ridiculous, I thnk its fine.

Ahhhhhh way to start a marriage with a "tit for tat". You should make time for both or ask them to make this a late lunch. It's the day after the wedding and everyone will still acknowledge this. Stop being selfish and don't start a small war over this.

I don't get why you are upset. I thought you were going to say she wanted to announce it at your wedding, and then I was definitely going to back you up and say that was inappropriate. But they want to take advantage of the fact that many OOT family will be there and have the party the day after? Great! If you don't want to go because you are freshly married, no one will blame you and it should not be a big deal. Gender reveal parties are just an excuse to get together, it's not some major once-in-a-lifetime event that you can't miss.

I would honestly go. Go for an hour, have a slice of cake, watch them reveal the gender, then politely excuse myself to rest. You get one day, let her enjoy this.

If I had to pick between watching someone open gifts or a gender reveal party, I pick neither

I'm confused about what's so *obvious* as to why you won't be there. You're tired? I go to work tired when I can't sleep at night. IMO being tired isn't an excuse to not support your family members for at least a short period of time

Hmm. I'm also confused on the timeline.

Is the brunch from like 10-1? What time is the reveal party? 2ish? Or does it coincide?

Either case- if you can go and want to, go. If you can't go and/or don't want to because you're tired, don't go. End of story.

But I do have a question: How many of his family are invited to the brunch-and-torturous-gift-opening bonanza? If there's no overlap, there's no problem. Just you and your husband won't go and they have to understand that (and if they're pissy, that's their problem, not yours). If there's an overlap, yeah, I'd be a bit irritated but ONLY IF the guests already knew there was a brunch. if you haven't set the plans into motion, then that's an oopsie on your part..

I'm chiming in hun you get ONE day not the whole weekend. Why can't she have her day too. I also want to know why you think she is Jealous of you for having a wedding? Sounds like your a little full of yourself. Just sayin. It bothers me that you are not going to go cause it's the day after. And you open your gifts in private on your honey moon night. And also your fiance is not your hubby til after you get married