Gap time between ceremony and reception-- Catholic wedding

Personally? I don't want to spend 12 hours at your wedding day, no matter how much I love you.

Hahaha no worries Catsbonincats

Alexfields - a wedding is your day, yes, if your having guests you want to make them comfortable and for them to have a great time, but not at the expense of my wedding. Our church is in rural illinois and our priest travels between two of the churches in the area. This isn't a suprise, the times are on the invites, and if someone forgoes the mass or decides not to come so be it. They are adults and can decide themselves if the gap is a make or break issue for them.

@Alietta - That is awesome you were able to the gap! Personally I would rather have an hour than 30 minutes (partially because I can't do anything done in 30 minutes and would probably do what Anna is worried about showing up earlier or chilling in the parking lot.

@Rebecca - maybe some churches can have a late Saturday mass, mine can't and I am not changing churches for that. Also I have a lot of out of town guests so to do something on a week day (other option) is really unfeasible and I think asking a lot. With the location of the church/reception it is literally impossible for me to have a morning wedding (we have to set up the day of and cannot get in until 8). Yes ideal situation is no gap, but not at the expense of my sanity. I don't think it is a situation any of us are making without a lot of thought and considerations, trust me I know I didn't.

@Celia - I would hope a bride would understand if you can't make the day out of it, but you also have the out of town guests too. Unfortunately I just don't think its possible to please everyone I think we all try are best but as Marion said they are adults and I am sure they will do what they want.

I have wrestled with this problem as well. My ceremony is at 2pm and the reception (cocktail hour starts) is at 5pm. The ceremony is about 1 hour long and confession starts at 3pm. We are allowed 30 minutes to take some formal pictures at the church. Anyway that leaves about a 1.5-2 hour gap.

The reception venue is 35 minutes from the church, but 25 minutes from the hotels (which are 15 minutes from the church). So that leaves a slightly smaller gap. We asked a few people what they thought of the gap (as we could have moved our reception up to 4pm and ended it at 10pm instead of 11pm) and they said they didn't mind the gap. This is allowing us to have immediate family and the bridal party take all the pictures before guests arrive at the reception venue (as we are allowed to arrive earlier than 5pm).

Not having the gap was stressing me out - due to possible weather conditions, how long we were going to take with pictures at the church, how long the ceremony was going to be (45min-1hr). At least the gap will allow for the maximum time any of those "unknowns" could be. I just didn't want to move the cocktail hour to start at 4pm and then dinner at 5pm, when the guests may not be arriving until 4:30pm (which could potentially leave a ton of extra food, if cocktail hour was "unexpectedly" cut by 1/2). I ended up seeing that the buffer/gap could be beneficial (for all) but also bothersome. Just something we are just going to have to deal with.

ETA: Most of my guests will be OOTs.

Thank you everyone for the responses!!! I love seeing how everyone is doing what works best for them. There is no right answer in this situation!

So for those who responded they are having a gap... should I make it 5 or 5:30? I'm leaning towards 5:30 because it gives us extra wiggle room in case we encounter horrible traffic on the way to the reception (I live in Atlanta, it's HIGHLY probable). I don't want to be rushed, especially for pictures sake. BUT 5:00 makes sense to eliminate the gap as much as possible. I'm just afraid that people really might get to the reception half an hour or more early and waiting around with NOTHING to do/eat/drink. Also, the idea of our wedding ending at 10:00 PM really bums me out is this a big deal or no? I know half an hour REALLY does not make much of a difference, but I'm holding on to the idea that if we choose 5:30, it will end at 10:30, which is better than 10. Ahhhh!!! I don't know what to do!

I wouldn't feel comfortable asking the average guest to fill empty hours between the ceremony and reception at a bar, sitting in a hotel room, or touring the area in their dress clothes, but if a gap bride won't judge me for skipping their ceremony so that I can attend their reception feeling sober, awake, and fresh, then I won't judge them for the gap. I think it's a perfect compromise.

ETA: Anna Marie, If you can avoid the possibility of guests getting to the venue a half an hour early with nothing to do/eat/drink, then do it and schedule the cocktail hour for five. It would be far better for a few late-comers to straggle in than knowing that any of your guests are hanging around a venue with nothing to do. As for the difference between a 10:00 or 10:30 end time -- that's really a non-issue and it will mean nothing to you on your wedding day. Remember, many of your guests began the day in the early afternoon when driving to your ceremony. Seven hours devoted to a wedding is more than enough.

I am faced with this same issue in my early stages of planning, so I will be following this thread. My ceremony is at 2 til about 3 and my cocktail hour will start at 6. I am thinking I may look into if the hotel has a conference room I can rent out that I can put food and drinks in for my guests who need a place to go during the gap. I am hoping it'll be possible and that I can budget for it, because it seems like the only solution other than leaving the non-hotel guests on their own.

My wedding was NOT a Catholic wedding, although I was raised Catholic. Almost every wedding I have been to (probably 10-15) had a gap. We had a 2pm ceremony with a 6 pm reception about 30 mins away. Most of our guests were local or new local people. We wanted to take pictures in downtown St. Louis (like the Arch one in profile). A few people went to my brothers house for a bit, not a big deal. There was umpteen things to do inbetween the 2 places.

@Michelle and Susan, honestly, don't worry about it. Your guests are grown-ups. As long as you're specific on your invite about the time that you reception/cocktail hour begins, they can occupy themselves with something to do.

I went to a Catholic wedding with a 3 hour gap. It gook half an hour to get to the reception. They are fine. We did notice most guest did just skip the ceremony and showed up to the reception.

Last "Gap" wedding I attended several friends and I tried to find something to do in the area (we were not local) and long story short ended up getting lost and ended up being an hour and a half late to the reception.

In just going to throw it out there, that I have a 3 hour gap time between ceremony and reception. Not really my

Fault, just the way things ended up. My mom is going to open up her house to guests that want to stop buy and have a drink, since she is so close to the reception space. This is very common in my family. Every wedding I've ever been to has had a 2-3 hour gap between ceremony and reception.

In my family, people normally wear one outfit to the church, then go home during the gap to change for the reception

Are you having a receiving line? The reason I ask is because if your ceremony ended at 3:45, depending on the number of guests you have, there's a good chance the receiving line could take you right up until 4:15 or so. At that point, guests would arrive to the reception only 15 minutes early. This has happened to me a couple of times as a guest and honestly 15 minutes is nothing. Guests can just linger for a short period of time and then head in.

Move cocktail hour up. I hate gaps, last wedding we went to had a horrible gap and we were so far from home. We found a local bar and before we knew it we missed part of cocktail hour.

If your ceremony ends at 4pm and you spend 30-45 minutes meeting and greeting and many people will hang out with you while you mingle, then you really won't have any gap if the cocktail hour starts at 5pm. You don't want to be in a time crunch either! All you need is for the ceremony to start 15 minutes late and the gap is mostly gone.

My friend rented a theatre and aired a movie for his guests during the gap, I thought that was pretty neat!