FURIOUS AT BEST MAN

I have seen this before. Maybe you can find him a cheap rate a nearby hotel...If he is really considering driving up and down like that, it is crazy....Probably the best bet is to not have him in the wedding party. It doesn't seem like he cares too much, like he is worrying more about his pocketbook (and probably spending in other areas of his life that he considers higher priority), which is fine but if someone doesn't honor me, do I need to honor them? I know I can be kinda petty too. So take my advice with a grain of salt. Good luck nevertheless.

I have found a cheap rate but he's not interested said if they dont drive they'll find their own accomodation. The big thing is that he got married a few months back my husband was meant to be best man and they were aware that he would only be able to apply for leave about two months before at most since he is in the military and they hadnt been issued what days he would be at sea yet and had been told to wait for that. Anyway about 3 months before the wedding the b2b had a mental and said well if he cant tell us now for sure no point in him coming. My husband was devastated they had been friends since junior high and they knew that he couldnt guarantee leave until the navy let him. He was also going to fly in for the wedding costing us nearly 300. So he is so angry now that the best man is doing this. His wife also demanded that if he came to the wedding he had to be there for the rehearsal which meant using up more of his leave and he was willing to do that for them.

If he is going to be that inconsiderate then ask him to step aside and just come to the wedding. Accepting the role of BM or MOH comes with expectations. It sounds like his breide had firm expectations and so should you. Not all rehersals and weddings run the same. Trust me I know. You dont need the stress.

I think you are leaning towards taking him out of the wedding party...Is that what your hubby wants too? If so, just tell that guy he is out now.

Personally, I didn't think it was a big deal if one or two of my wedding party didn't make it to the rehearsal or dinner afterwards. I was going to get married either way. And it would just have cost me less for the rehearsal dinner cuz they had guests of course and it was fairly expensive....I would have been hurt, but I would have gotten over it.

You have time now though to pull that guy out of your wedding....

@ Scott thats what I thought. The best man has done absolutely nothing at all not even congratulated us after the civil ceremony. He got annoyed when my husband didnt want to go to strip clubs and get wasted for his bachelor party.

@ JJ I usually wouldnt let it bother me but after we organised the rehearsal to suit him and his wife has attacked me a few times and they didnt bother to iclude me on their wedding invite me and my husband are just fed up.

Well don't even think about it.

just take him out

you don't need that kind of stress on your wedding day

Ugh how obnoxious. Planning the rehearsal was just as stressful as planning the wedding for me. However, I will say that as long as some of your wedding party comes to the rehearsal, it really isn't necessary to have everyone there. It's true that being in a wedding really isn't all that complicated. We had one BM and one GM miss the rehearsal, and we just stuck them in between people who knew what they were doing and it was fine. All they need to be able to do is walk in a straight line and then stand there. I know that it's frustrating and annoying, but it really won't mess up your wedding if you have a few people missing the rehearsal.

The bachelor party is the night before the wedding? That would be a red flag for me. Some guys have NO restraint. As far as anything else is concerned, I don't know anything about. His BMan is excited to do it and will NOT fill me in on the details.

That is crazy yeah I would ask him to step down. Make everything better for yourself and less stressful. You don't need that on your day.

That's a good point Charlotte. I went to a wedding where the bachelor/bachelorette parties were the night before. The next day, the wedding started one hour late because the best man was still in the bathroom throwing up! Now keep in mind that this was a wedding that was supposed to start at 5pm! Also my husband's bachelor party was the day before the rehearsal, and at the 5pm rehearsal all the groomsmen were still hungover. lol. (although I wasn't laughing at the time, I was actually trying to suppress the bridezilla rising up!)

I know everyone says dont do the bachelor party the night before but my husband is in the navy and the wedding is in Kansas (we're in California) He is only going to be able to get there on the day of the rehearsal. Im honestly not worried about the bachelor party he wants both my dad and my brother to go (my brother is gay so he wont want strippers lol) he has told them all he wants is to go to paintball and then go have a steak dinner he literally wants a guys day no strippers or anything. He also doesnt drink more than about two unless I am with him because he has PTSD and drinking has given him severe flashbacks so he wont do it unless im there because im the only one able to calm him down.

With friends like that who needs enemies! I wouldn't think twice about dumping him as best man. Personally he doesn't even sound like a person I would want as a guest at my wedding! There could be two sides but from your point of view it's a no brainer to drop him like a bad habit.

My husband got home last night and saw the messages between us. His BM had just sent me a message basically saying i dont know what your problem is i know how a wedding goes otherwise people can show us on the saturday. The last thing we want on the saturday is to have to explain to them whats going on when we are meant to be having a relaxing day. My husband rang him and was like okay whats going on you had in total 4 months notice before the wedding so that you can organise the afternoon off work and he was like well i just cant get it off. Then he said you cant speak to my wife like that either there was no reason for you to be rude to her and he said but she was rude to me my husband was just shocked he was like i read the messages between you both she did nothing wrong she is trying to organise everything and was actually really polite to you. Needless to say I think today he will be telling him he is no longer best man he's still deciding if he even wants him at the wedding.

I would hope there wouldn't be strippers at the "bachelor" party since you guys are already married! That would be a major no-no in my book.

As for the original question, I think it's time to fire the best man. Sounds like he's flaking out already, and you don't need the stress of worry about him flaking out for good closer to time.

Thats what i think. the only reason the best man wants strippers is because he couldnt have them at his bachelor party. my husband had to make it perfectly clear it wasnt happening if he'd wanted some big stupid drunken thing he would have done it before we got married anyway. ill feel so much better when he is not a best man possibly not even a groomsmen.

What kind of a groomsmen doesn't go with what the groom wants? so weird. my hubby said no to strippers or carousing either. haha. just a nice dinner feast with wine. i didn't tell him no per se. lol aussie, i think we found good ones. congrats! don't let one person get you down!