Friends have an issue with how im doing my bachelorette party!

I wouldn't pay $300 for a party to stay in my own town. I spent about that for a night at the casino, concert tickets, and dinner for a friend's bachelorette.

Your sisters should have asked everyone's budget before planning. If they didn't, they should be responsible for picking up the cost where other people can't afford to contribute. While this is YOUR party, it is being planned by other people in your honor, so you really don't get to stomp your feet and have everything go your way.

It seems like the girls didn't have a say in the budget. It seems like they were told it would be $X amount rather than taking everyone's financial situations into account and coming up with a budget pp as a group. I know that right now, it would be hard for me to drop a couple hundred dollars on a weekend due to my life situation and maybe that's where your girls are at too.

You're right, this is YOUR party, but other people are invited and they matter too.

I'm sorry, but your friends have a right to complain about the budget if they weren't asked ahead of time how much they were comfortable spending. IMO, $300 per person is a lot to spend for a weekend. Your sisters did things backwards. Instead of telling others what they should spend, they should have asked everyone's budget and then planned accordingly, OR, pay for the entire party themselves. Also, it doesn't matter if you feel this is reasonably priced - it matters what those who are actually paying for it feel about it. And obviously they don't think it is reasonably priced. You should take their opinions into consideration, especially since this isn't your party to plan or pay for.

Everyone has a different budget. $300 might be fine for some, and too much for others. What matters is the budget of those whom you want to attend. To me, $300 seems a lot for something local. Can those who want to spend less opt out of staying at the hotel and just go home overnight if it is local? I know some people like hotels, but I wouldn't want to pay to stay in a hotel where I live.

"Some of them have even brought up suggestions of other things I can do instead." I think that you have to accept that there are trade-offs, and you can either have the party you want but maybe not have everyone be able to come, or make it cheaper and have it more likely that everyone can come. If the party you want is out of some of their budgets, you have to accept that some might not be able to make it.

Ill clarify a bit, cause I think everyone is right. My sisters havent actually planned these events for everyone yet. There is a general itinerary and everyone is able to participate as they please, because they know not everyone can do everything. Basically, this party can be as little as 15 dollars, or as much as 300 dollars, depending on what each person decides to do. Nothing is set in stone yet, and they are waiting for my friends to decide what they want to do before booking anything. I think the main problem, is they my friends are coming to me, instead of going to my sisters with what they want to do.

View Quoted Comment Yeah I agree - $300 isn't a small amount for a local party. If this wasn't agreed upon ahead of time, you either have to have your party but accept that some people won't come or it will be putting them in a tough financial situation, or remind those who organized to keep everyone's budgets in mind.

ETA: I saw your update but if everyone is doing different activities ($15 trip vs $300 trip) people are going to feel left out. Ask your hosts to figure something out that will work with everyone's budgets and tell your friends that are coming to you that you discussed budget with the hosts and to go to them from now on.

Yeah, I mean it's not like you're telling them they have to come... They have the option to participate in what they wan't, and when they come to you I would say you can participate in whichever events you would like and work within your budget, if you have suggestions you can talk to my sisters about it. I would be annoyed too... These are the things you don't want to stress over and why other people are in charge of planning.

Maybe the are coming to you because they are afraid they won't be able to make it due to costs and they want you to know that is why. They don't want you to think they are bailing on you. Maybe let them know you will be glad to see them for any and all events they can attend, but you understand if they can't attend everything. Otherwise, maybe ask your sisters to look into cutting the costs.

Thanks for the help guys. I guess I have a follow up question now...How did everyone else plan there partys? I feel like this would happen no matter what. Because no matter what the party is it would still cost SOME money, and everyone DOES have different budgets. If as little as $15 dollars doesnt work, then what would? Im actually really curious, because if someone has an idea I would love to hear it!

(On a side note, I had a no gift engagement party, and a no gift bridal shower as well for reasons like this)

As long as they are not being told they absolutely must come and pay the full amoumt, I don't see a problem with how your sisters are handling it. Are these friends local to the party? If so, they can choose not to stay at the hotel and go home instead. It also sounds like they are able to choose which activities they want to participate in and which they would rather skip.
I would ask your sister to contact everyone again and clarify it with them. Reassure them that they are not being forced and shouldn't feel obligated to participate. The next time someone comes to you to complain or make suggestions about the party just say " my sister is handling all of the details of the party so I don't actually have all ofntge info. She is trying to keep some of it a surprise for me. Do you have her number/email to get in touch with her? She would be able to answer all of those questions for you." If they say anything about the cost just let them know that you would love them to join but understand if they can only join part of the activities or are unable to join any.

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They are all local. Thats a good point. I think ill reach out to my sisters to just have them clarify some of the details. Thanks!!

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I am not planning my bachelorette party. No one should plan their own. My friends all live in different states, so we just agreed to meet at my MOH's house in Florida. We are staying there so that's saving a huge cost, and two of my friends are splitting my plane ticket. Other than that we will just play it by ear.

For other bachelorette's that I've been a part of, the bride gave a general idea of what she wanted. One was the concert I mentioned above, another was a weekend away in another city. In both cases we decided on travel costs/hotels/activities/etc. that fit our budgets. In the second case, the bride wanted a lot of things and it ended up costing me over $900 with gas, food, drinks, etc. because none of that was included in the AirBNB or any of the activities that the MOH planned. I was a little miffed because that is a stupid amount of money for a weekend that doesn't include flights.

View Quoted Comment Honestly just tell them to talk to your sisters about it.

They probably dont realize you arent planning it. I know I'd be side eyeing the crap out of a $300 bachelorette weekend.

I would not be able to attend a local bachelorette for $300 and I would be hurt if the people planning had not reached out to me to see what price range I could afford. I go to school full time, raise my son, and we live off one income so my financial situation is very budgeted.

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So, seriously, with nothing set in stone and everything being an al la carte weekend, I don't see a huge problem with this situation at the moment.

And when your friends come to you and complain, tell them they need to speak with XXX, the person in charge of planning because your aren't supposed to know too much about your SURPRISE party. End of story. Because yes, you are right. Whether the cost is outrageous or not, they need to be taking this to the planners and not to you. I agree 100% on that. How can the planners chose different, less costly events if no one talks to them about it?

$300.00 is a lot for local, just to put things in perspective we are going approx an hour from our town to Dewey De for the weekend, we found a house to fit all 12 of us that is costing each girl $86. Its location is within walking distance to the restaurants and bars. I am providing all the food and booze for the house for the weekend, I am NOT planning this my Bm's are, but I would not take no for any answer. One of my Bm's opted out and another one of my friends did as well, understandable, and no hard feelings. I think it needs to be as affordable as possible & if anyone cannot make it for one reason or another it should be understood by you and no feelings hurt. It takes a lot for some people to say they can't afford things.

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I really wanted all of my bridesmaids to be able to attend. So I really considered what would work for everyone. One night when I was hanging out with my MOH and 3 of my bridesmaids they had said they wanted to go somewhere, not stay local. Beings that I have 2 bridesmaids in VA and the rest in NJ. Ocean City Maryland would be an equal distance for everyone to drive to. Next I asked if that location was okay and how many days they were willing to go. Everyone agreed that 2 nights is best. My MOH and I did some research to find the most affordable hotel. My MOH booked the room and everyone is paying her for the room. Then when we get there everyone will pay for their own food and drinks. So basically I involved everyone in the ultimate decision of what we will do and then once it was booked my bridal will determine what we will do there (where we'll eat, go out, etc)

I love my friends but there is no way I would ever spend $300 for a party just because someone is getting married. Yeah, I think you're asking too much.

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For me, my bridesmaids (no MOH) got together to discuss their budgets and came up with a list of options that fit within everyone's budget. They then sent me this list and I got to pick my favorite. We ended up having a spa day and a late afternoon brunch.

I think in your situation, your sisters should ask everyone their budget and plan something based on that. Then, if those people can't go for whatever reason, it's on them because they had input in the decision and costs.

I personally wouldn’t be able to afford to partake in a 300$ weekend. I have a house and two dogs and my own wedding and blah blah blah but the point is I would be bummed if there were things on the itinerary that I couldn’t do because of money. It would be an embarrassing spot to be in if you weren’t able to go out to eat or go to wherever everyone else was going because you couldn’t afford to. I get it’s your party and you appreciate your sisters work they put into it. But maybe check back with them and let them know that some people can’t afford to do everything and you want everyone to be able to have fun.
Or just say screw it and do it how it’s planned and let it be that. The choice really is yours to make but the general consensus I see is most people think it’s a bit much and I’d have to agree