Friend booked my venue after me but pushed her wedding to before mine

We had 6 weddings two years ago. Two weddings had the ceremony at the same place and two weddings had the reception at the same place. It. Didn’t. Matter. ((Oh, and they have all been friends since high school))

IMHO, I think it’s immature to say you’re not even interested in being her friend anymore. THAT is being disrespectful, booking the same reception location is not. If you do- for some reason- have a very similar guest list, i doubt anyone will even care that your location is the same.

I have to disagree with PP. I think it is a bit rude. Unless you live on a very small area I wouldn’t do this to a friend in the same year right before their wedding. Either way though it is done and I wouldn’t share any more plans with her. Your wedding will be different and amazing.

If she isn't even hosting her guests, her wedding will be an appalling mess anyway. Why let it bother you? You're going to show everyone how to do it right.

Would I be a bit miffed by this, yes. Disrespectful is a stretch to me but we certainly wouldn’t be buddy buddy anymore. I would keep her an arms length away, this is just so strange. Keep on planning and as previously mentioned don’t share anymore. Date and time is all she needs to know if she’s invited.

I had something similar happen. Before FH and I signed a contract on our venue, one of our friends booked there. Also they picked the same weekend this year that we’re doing next year. So we’re getting married the same weekend, at the same place, one year later.

I talked to her about it and we agreed we’re both actually overjoyed that we will have so much to talk about. We both have such different ideas for how we want to decorate and how the night will go. Even though a significant number of guests will be invited to both, the events will be so different. Bonus is that we’ll get to see how everything goes at their wedding and can take notes of what works and what doesn’t work.

Use this as a bonding opportunity!

I would be kind of annoyed if this happened to me, I’ll give you that.
But you said you’re from a small town - maybe there’s honestly not many options? It sucks that you have a big overlap of guests but your weddings will be separate and different events, although at the same location. Don’t tell her any other details, and try not to let it get to you. Have a glass of wine and move on with your planning.

That does stink and I would be upset too. But at the same time, I would be glad to attend a wedding at my venue to get an idea of how smoothly the night goes and what last minute touches I would need to make.

View Quoted Comment She is having her guests pay for their dinner?

Seriously? You’re entitled to ONE day, and so is she. Her choosing your venue probably has not a darn thing to do with you booking YOUR wedding there. It’s right to get married wherever and whenever she wants. Really, this sounds immature.

Honestly this is such a terrible thing to do to someone. I would tell her how upset you are and if she isn’t willing to move her date, try to move yours up. I would probably disinvite her to your wedding and not speak to her again. What a crappy friend.

I don’t think this is something to get too worked up about, and certainly not something worthy of ending a friendship. I think she probably should have mentioned she was booking there also out of courtesy, but I don’t think this is a huge transgression. Your wedding is supposed to be about you and your spouse committing to each other and celebrating your love...someone else using the same venue won’t change that.

I really don’t see the problem. Your wedding is two months away from hers, it’s not like she booked the day before. Your wedding will still be lovely, and look at it like this: you get to preview the venue in action before your wedding!

I would never expect someone not to book a vendor just because I'm using them. I'm actually recommending my choices to our engaged friends because I thought they were the best choices in our area. I want my friends weddings to be as good as possible because I care about them and want them to be happy. That means sharing vendors.

Obviously you chose your venue for a reason. Your friend probably just likes the same things about, it just happens that you're the one who mentioned it to her.

Your weddings will be completely different, don't worry about this.

View Quoted Comment There is more to it. I don't feel Im being immature. I should have known she would do this. I had originally planned to get married on an alaskan cruise which then after she said they were going to do an Alaskan cruise wedding, we changed our plans to las vegas then they were going to do vegas. I didnt think when i finally booked it that she would do whatever we were doing no matter what is was..... seems bizarre to me & not immature to be annoyed & weirded out

I would tell her you guys found a much better venue and tell her your date there. Wait 2 months and then tell her you backed out to the previous venue.

View Quoted Comment Thats a good idea! I am currently looking for a different venue anyway

This would bother me!! Sorry you have a friend who would do this to you

Honestly this would annoy me too, but I wouldn't do anything to end the friendship. Like others have said, if she's making her guests pay for their food/drinks, people are going to think her wedding is incredibly tacky and yours will be awesome in comparison!

View Quoted Comment

As someone has already mentioned, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Maybe she looks up to you, respects you, or likes your ideas so much that when she hears about your plans she can’t help but to copy. Some good friends of mine recently got pregnant. A few months before I had mentioned in passing a name I really like, that I might name my future son. They have decided to use “my” name. Am I upset? Heck no! I’m honestly quite touched that they liked it well enough to use it, and it won’t stop me from naming my son the same if I want.

Because in the grand scheme of things this is very insignificant. The venue hosts multiple weddings a week, likely multiple every day. Your weddings are plenty far apart, and as you’ve already mentioned it seems she doesn’t understand hosting etiquette which will not go over well. Your wedding will be unaffected by any of this. I’d let it go.

I would be upset too! But I’m sure even though it’s the same venue and same room it will be two completely different weddings. Good luck!