Freaking out over the guest list

I'm either skipping STDs or else sending only a few--I figure that people who really care about me will ask/find out what my wedding date is and reserve time, and that way I haven't promised invitations to a lot of people I'll later regret.

We also have a somewhat lopsided family situation, but since I only see about half my extended family every 3-4 years and the other half pretty much at my grandparents' funerals, I'm not worrying about inviting everyone, cousins, etc. My fiance, on the other hand, has a very tight extended family and sees everyone, including married cousins, etc, at least a couple times a year. I have no problem with him inviting more people than I do, since that way we get to have the people that really care a lot about us there.

The thing that I'm trying to get across to the families is that we DON"T want to invite the obligations. That's just silly. Even first aunts are possibly getting the axe from me due to them seriously not making this a fun wedding as they are both "natural oil" salespeople and can't shut it off for five seconds. I don't want half my guests to hate my wedding day because there were relatives there trying to pitch frankensense at them the whole time. FH feels that EVERYONE COMES, which is NOT okay in my book. We can't have over 200 people, and when I started planning, I didn't think we could even reach that many, but now its just gotten crazy. He finally did have the talk with his parents and his mom did the "cuts" so I think we will be right around our target number while still keeping people happy and getting the people we want to enjoy the day with us.

Question: How do you invite some people, but not their teenagers? We are inviting kids, but I think teenagers will be BORED sick and not have any fun and just end up annoying their parents by complaining about how bored they are. Suggestions??

Atredis, I would leave it up to the parents as to whether to bring their teens. I know if I had a six-year-old and a 16-year-old, and the kid was invited but not the teen, it would be super strange.

That's not the situation though. The second cousins that are very close to us have a lake house ten minutes from my venue. They all have teenagers. Like, 16 year olds. No little kids. They could easily bring the kids up with them, and they can stay at the lake until the wedding is over. (8pm). I am wondering if there is any way to indicate that, because honestly, I don't think they even WILL bring them, but I really don't want them to. UGH weddings...

@Atredis you just indicate who you are inviting specifically on the invite. Instead of saying

The Jones Family (which would imply Mom, Dad, teenager, and teenager etc.) you say Mr. and Mrs. Jones. Then you can also say 2 seats have been reserved in your honor and then have a spot for two people to fill out their meal choices. Something like that.

Guest lists are such a nightmare and cause so much stress. I think it should be enshrined in law that you can invite only 6 guests to any wedding. Cheaper, less hassle, and nobody could argue!

Between FH's relatives he never sees and friend's partners I haven't met (even though some have been together for years I tend to always meet just with the friend, not with partners for some reason) there's going to be quite a lot of people I've never met at our wedding. I wish you could just get away with inviting the people you want, not the people you have to!