Forced bridesmaid

I honestly think it's rude to not include her.

Idk I'm kind of torn on this. I kind of feel like she's being a little pushy, but if it's his only sibling and he's close with her I guess I can see why she feels entitled to be in the WP.

I would just talk with your FH. This is really his fire to put out and if he insists she is part of the WP see if you can come to some agreement on where to place her. It's not worth fighting over.

I will add that she lives in another state and I barely speak to her. I have no issues with her?I have who I want to have in it. He has another sister also so if I made her a BM I feel I'd be obligated to have both sisters as one also. I think I will have her do a reading.

You never know, things may change in a year. I picked my bridesmaids too early and I've already had 2 drop out and now my sister is pregnant. Just keep your options open

FSIL is going to be in my BP, as are his brothers and my sister. We wanted to include them. There's many other of my girlfriends I could have asked instead but having his sister in my BM section is way more important to both of us, and for my relationship with her. Do you really want your marriage to start out with any resentment from your FILs? I sure wouldn't. Also, your sides can be uneven.

If he has two sisters then I would just politely say that you've already got your BMs chosen, but that you'd like her to do a reading as you said.

I understand where you are coming from. If you feel like you 100% do not want her as a bridesmaid make sure you are honest with her so there is no drama between you guys as her feelings may be hurt. My FSIL will be a bridesmaid when I select all bridesmaids even though we are not close but I figured this will be a good way for us to bond since she is his only sibling.

I understand how some family's are small and close, but I don't see that as an obligation, or rude not to include each other's siblings. I have four brothers. I expect them to all stand up at each other's weddings, but it would be ridiculous of me to ask FH to include them.

Echoing pp- she can be a groomswoman. I don't see why she needs to be a BM if you're not close.

Is it just a bridesmaid she wants to be or some sort of part of the wedding? SHE could help you with appointments and the diy decor or something, the wedding I was in, she had 1 extra girl and couldn't have her as a bridesmaid. So she had her as a helper of miscellaneous things.

@OP-please ignore Mirandas horrific suggestion. Just because you don't want her as a BM doesn't mean she has to be slave labor.

I agree with everyone else. If your FH is wanting this so badly than he can have her on his side. You don't have to ask her. If you were close sure, but in this case stick to your own plan.

@Richard: I am not giving terrible advice. I agree with most of the posters on many things You just don't agree with it. I'm sorry, but the groom's sister is usually asked to be a bridesmaid. This girl is going to be her sister-in-law. Out of courtesy to her FH, ask her to be in the wedding party. What's 6 hours out of her life in comparison to future family relations? Sorry, you're off on this one.

I disagree with Nancy, siblings aren't required to be in the WP. Stick with your gut and let your DH know. She can stand on his side if he's that adamant.

Agree that if you're not close with them, siblings aren't "traditionally" in the wedding party. They often are, yes, by virtue of knowing the bride/groom nearly their whole lives and therefore had lots of time to become close.

My sisters are my maids of honor, and FSIL is my FH's best lady. It's perfectly fine to have her be a groomslady or groomswoman on his side, if he wants to avoid drama. From what you've said, it's not a matter of him wanting her in the wedding necessarily, it seems like he just wants to avoid family drama. Tell him to ask her to be on his side. Then you can add your extra person if you need evens.

Groomswoman?

Yeah Nancy, she didn't stutter.

We aren't putting my brother or my sister in law in the wedding. Brother is an usher. Maybe a female usher? I dunno. Could she walk with his parents down the aisle maybe? Just ideas. Or is she married? Could her and her husband walk as a duo and then just get sat much like the grandparents and grooms parents do?

I had the same (less pushy but still she wanted to be one) situation. I think you just have to stand firm, if you gave in she won't really be happy, the damage is already done so at least make sure you continue to only have your closest friends around you.

I'm having my 3 sisters as BM and then I was planning to ask 1 of FH's sisters who I am close to and who introduced us. I ended up asking his other sister as well because I didn't want her to be the only one left out and she ended up seeming more excited for it than I thought she would be.

I agree with making her a groomswoman if she and your FH want her in so badly.

Coming from a tight knit, Hispanic family, siblings are absolutely NOT a requirement to be in the BP, whether they're siblings of the bride or of the groom. My brother is a GM, him and FH are friends, my sister (both half siblings, my sister I've had no relationship with) is not. FH's sister was invited to be either a groomswoman or a bridesmaid, she turned both down, but that was because we get along. If I didn't want to have her in my BP I never would have extended that invitation.

Nobody can dictate who your WP is, that is entirely a personal decision. Blood relations does not grant automatic rights to these kinds of things. I'd keep telling her you have your BP picked already (you picked too early btw) and continue to offer her other options, such as doing a reading or being a groomswoman.