For those who didn't invite parents

I have a question about my best friends granddaughter who is getting married. I have known here since she was 10. My husband and I decided to send a gift . Doesn’t bother me at all that I was not invited. Please help me I had good intentions I am very excited for her granddaughter

I know that this thread hasn't been posted on in a while but it's nice to read others responses and vent about my own wedding. I'm getting married in a couple of months and from the moment I got engaged, I knew I didn't want to invite my mom. I've lived on my own since I was 16. She remarried quickly after my dad died and moved across the US, letting me stay behind. She morphed into a different person when she met my "stepdad"...she wasn't the person I grew up with and it made me really uncomfortable to be around them. Over the years, there were minimal interactions, a few toxic conversations...but mostly, I ignore her when she reaches out on holidays/birthdays. She made it very clear that my "stepdad" was her #1 priority and I felt like I needed to cut them out of my life for my own happiness. She chose herself and I chose myself. Things have been this way for several years and I feel really at peace with it.

I'm having a really small wedding (45-50 guests) most of which are coming from out of state. Every person invited is so important to us and I can't imagine inviting her and adding awkwardness into our day. Deep down, I feel guilty as I'm sure it hurts her feelings that she won't be attending her own daughters wedding. She's tried to reach out a few times here and there via facebook...but I feel like she's reaching out more often to try to make me feel guilty.

I personally don't feel any sadness about not having her attend but I do feel guilt, as I'm assuming it really hurts her feelings. But I know that it's the right decision for me and sometimes you have to choose yourself.

I am a MOG and my husband and I are not invited to my son's wedding. My son's biological father was abusive and we divorced. Eventually, the bio father was not allowed to be near our kids anymore. It was very trying on all of us. I remarried and my husband adopted my kids, took care of them as his own and did all of the fatherly things with them. We helped put all of them through college (The older three got jobs and scholarships, the youngest had a small scholarship to help a lot with this.) and also supported their interests. The youngest son, in particular, needed a lot of support for his golf career and he went to college for five years and, because of golf, didn't get a job in college as our other kids did. The youngest son lived at home for a few years after college, because he was having some trouble with holding jobs. He found his bosses to be stupid or that they did things wrong, in his eyes, so holding a job wasn't easy for him. He got in the habit of arguing with us regularly, if we asked him to pick up after himself or put his leftover food away and to be responsible for himself, while he was living with us as an adult. He didn't like how we did things and called us stupid for many of the things we did, from how we loaded the dishwasher to how we managed our business. Eventually, he moved out and lived with his sister and her husband, because he said he hated how we treated him. Then, he got mad at his sister not liking how she ran her household, after she let him live with her for a year. Recently, he decided he doesn't want us and his sister and her hubby to talk to him. He also stopped talking to his brother. He talks to one sister occasionally. He is now not inviting any of us to his wedding. We feel we were very supportive of him and did so much for him. My husband's parents are perturbed that their grandson would treat us this way and they don't know whether to attend the wedding or not. We've encouraged them to go, if they want. Similarly, my family, who knows how hard I worked as a single mom to protect my kids and support them are upset. His decision is causing a lot of upset throughout our entire family. He was in the wedding party for all of his siblings' weddings and was a special part of what they did, even though he wasn't always very kind to his siblings. His fiancé likes our family and doesn't really want the distance and she has little family left. They may find they are going to need some family support as their life goes on. The seeds they are sowing now can come back to haunt them later in their life. We are broken hearted. His siblings are broken hearted. His grandparents are broken hearted. We love him so much. We wish we could be at his wedding and be supportive of him. His siblings wish the same. We don't know what to do. We will, of course, honor his wishes. I offer this because I thought it might be good to hear from the other perspective.

I didn’t invite mine and have no regrets. There is no relationship with either of them due to their years of emotional abuse. It was nice to be able to relax and enjoy myself at a family event without being on eggshells at any time that they might cause a scene.

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Your dad must feel hurt.