FOCCUS test

Not every diocese or parish requires FOCCUS. Most Catholics go through variations of the same things in the marriage prep process but FOCCUS is something that is sold to churches and not every church buys in. I am not doing it, just a full day + 90 minutes on another day pre-cana.

My fiancé and I took that test too about 3 weeks ago but our priest told us that a couple from the church would be contacting us within two months.

We just completed our FOCCUS questionnaire. But not meeting with the priest until October. Also having our precana then as well. I was shocked by some of the questions, ha. But we answered honestly... whether or not our answers are frowned upon; I guess we'll see!

Wow we HAVE to do the official FOCCUS test and we HAVE to go on a weekend retreat. If it's here on island it's two days but if it's outer island then its only one. I know this is terrible but we plan on making a starvation and flying outer island to do the one night retreat and making a vacay out of it.

Pretty happy my church was so low key. If it was more strict, we probably wouldn't have been married in the church.

We took ours and didn't get to discuss the results for a few months, when we were home for the holidays and had a chance to meet with the Deacon. It was surprisingly laid back- I was envisioning a lot of counseling. The Deacon gave us each our responses and left us on our own to discuss where we differed!

@Christy totally agree. It got us talking about some things, but most everything we had discussed and didn't have any issues with.

We're also bad Catholics. Let's start a club lol

@red yes very long but went through it quickly as they recommend to answer with your gut feeling not dwell on the questions.

@julie I know.... with some of them I was like why does this matter? Or I was line come again? lol I am on the same boat as you!!

@BMG me and FH grew up with our pastor as we both went to the same church since we were in kindergarten. It is very important to us that he marries us. It is also meaningful too. But I do wish it was more laid back lol.

We went over it with the church coordinator during our next meeting, although we got a little lecture because we both answered disagree to "porn is detrimental to a relationship" #oops

@malei I am doing both, retreat isn't until January, but if he recommended it why not I said lol. I guess we will see how "fun" it will be.

Our priest strongly recommended it, but he didn't require it. We are doing pre-Cana next month

Guys for real though...

Pastors are other Christian denominations. Catholics are priests or deacons.

#catholicschoolproblems

@BMG I know, I know.... I usually just call him father, but may seem weird on here! Lol

@Christy yes to everything! We felt like bad people and then I reminded DH that we don't share many of the church's ideals...

We took ours and then discussed the next week. It was what was convenient for the deacon that was discussing with us. I wouldn't worry about results- they can't use that to say they won't marry you or anything- it's just a marriage prep tool! FH and I answered 91% of the questions the same and a couple of them we realized when going through that we had accidentally filled in the wrong bubbles lol

I'm not trying to hijack this thread but FH and I plan to be married in a Catholic Church where I grew up. We currently live a couple hours away so we were told to go through our registered church where the priest will give us permission to marry at my childhood church. We meet with the priest next month but I'm nervous they'll give us issues because we live together. I've met two people who said that happened to them and now they're marrying outside the Catholic Church.

Did any of you have issues with this?

Good to know that each church handles the pre marital stuff a bit differently! FH and I look forward to hearing what it's all about. If we can't marry in the church we may do counseling on our own.

We didnt get our results until after we complete our engaged encounter weekend.

@spaghetti FH and I currently live together as well. Our priest found out the first time we met and it seemed to be ok. He obviously said that we should live apart before marriage and if it's possible to stop living with each other until we get married. We aren't going to stop living with each other so if it becomes too much of a problem we'll seek an alternative path for our ceremony.

When they "ask" to stop having relations or living together is it something you can easily choose to not follow or is it really a deal breaker? I've looked into alternate options and it would be quite more expensive and I'd like to be able to plan accordingly. We both always wanted to get married Catholic but we are not ashamed of our relationship and will not lie or change our living situarion.

Our priest was my childhood deacon and was actually married for over 30 years before his wife passed away. He's given us some really great, down to earth advice and said he hasn't always agreed with the 'correct' answers; "if you can't think of at least one thing that annoys you about your partner, you haven't been around them long enough". They disagreed about toothpaste.

Are you doing a full weekend retreat?