FMIL wants me to hold off wedding ANOTHER year.

Tell her to kick rocks. Get married when you want.

If you can afford to pay it for yourself by your wedding date, do it.

I'm going crazy enough having a year and a half engagement, I can't imagine having a 3 and a half year one..

Do it when you want unless you need the money she will be offering. That's too long to wait in my opinion.

Like they said I would go ahead if you can afford it. And stop talking to her about it if all she's going to give is negativity

Can you afford to pay for it without her help? You'll both be what, 25 when you get married in 2016?

I agree with @Christine. Have your wedding when you want it unless you need the money. FH and I have been engaged 18 months at this point, and by the time we're married we'll have been engaged for 22. I'm so ready for the engagement to be over. I can't even imagine a 3-1/2 year engagement.

I don't want to end up like the couple from the movie the 5 year engagement! She says we are so busy with everything as we are trying to get an apartment and a car but I've also decided I'm not having a 20k wedding it will be closer to 10k and most of that is paid for by my uncle and some savings I have. She says that when my fiancée gets his nursing license he will make 25$ an hour and it will be easier to do what we want which I understand it will but who wants to wait 3 plus years to get married! Also, she has no room to talk either, her parents hated his father and refused to accept they were getting married and she and him ran off to Jamaica and eloped. So I don't understand if she has guilt or something but I hate this feeling of I'm hurting his mom by getting married next year.

I agree with Faran, don't share details or involve her because she's being negative about the process. It's her loss to not be a part of any of the planning process. If you have the money to, plan it yourselves, do it and keep her out of it.

I will be 23 and he will be 25.

Of course it would be great to have more money but is it worth waiting 2 more years. I really don't think it is, I've already looked at venues and have an appointment for my dress in October I've already set things in motion and his father is happy for us and is helping is plan but his mom says no to everything

If you don't need her help with paying for the wedding then get married when you want. It is your wedding not hers. My FMIL wanted us to wait another year (Engaged dec 2014) and we just told her we were getting married this year. She thinks its too fast but when you have been together for 6 years its really not.

Tell her to back off, have it when you want and pay for it yourselves.

To be quite honest, maybe she wants to contribute and isn't ready to "let her son go" so she's trying to get you to push it back so she has time to save and do that. Or maybe she doesn't see the rush since you've both got education plans either side of when you want the wedding.

If you need her help to pay for the wedding, those are her conditions. 3 years isn't a ridiculously long engagement (we'll have been engaged five years, together for 10)

Maybe she is concerned that you won't have the wedding you really want because you can't afford it and she doesn't want you to regret it. If you can afford to have the wedding you want, have it next year.

"GIVE ME YOUR MONEY, NOW!!!"

Just be honest yet respectful and have your wedding.

What does your FH want to do?

I would do what you want and what is best for you two. Not for her. It isn't her wedding.

My FH said his only requirement is we wait till he's done school and he will be done school at on 6/26/16 and our wedding is 10/31/16 so he will be well done school.

As long as you can afford it, do what you want. I can understand not wanting to wait, but I can also understand her saying...hey, you're young, you have time, hold out a bit and I can help you pay for a nice wedding.

If you have the money, then go for it, but your wedding shouldn't deplete your savings and make you a pauper. FH and I are waiting because we are paying our own way and yes we could totally get married in 2016, but if we wait until 2017 we wont have to skrimp and save in order to make it happen.