FMIL at Bachelorette Party? Really? *Update

Ok, I have to give an opinion from someone who is a MIL - me. I think what is at the root of the problem is that FH invited his dad so now she's the odd person out and just wants to be included. It is definitely awkward but I fear that her feelings will get really hurt to be left completely out. Is there any way you can include her in a part of the party whether it be dinner or just a couple of drinks? She probably will either turn in early (you know how we old fogies are) or she may surprise you and really enjoy being with the girls and end up being the life of the party.

Oh, and no way would I (or did I) invite myself to my future DIL's BP. But that's just me!

You could make your FH do it, but you're looking at a lifetime of dealing with your FMIL-- no time like the present to let her know where your boundaries are! You say, "Jill, you know really like you. And I am keeping my BP for my younger friends." Period, end of story. Remember to use 'and' not 'but', since 'but' negates the first half of the statement.

Good luck! I don't envy you! And I bet your FH is wishing he'd had the balls to tell his dad *he* was invited!

Amy I heart you lol

I would find it weird if my MIL invited herself. Especially if she were the only one in her age group going, and we aren't "friends"(which we're not our personalities don't mesh in a way that that would ever happen). But my MIL is kinda rude and doesn't respect other people's boundaries and gets mad at people easily, especially when she drinks so I try to avoid hanging out with her. That would be quite awkward. I would try and explain it or ask your FH to.

I think FH and I are in agreement. We wanted the bachelor and bachelorette parties to be just with our friends and bridal party. Turns out he never really invited his dad, he just assumed as well. When my FMIL has mentioned it she is including the mother of one of my BMs who I have met like twice in my life. Um, why would I invite someone I really don't know. I think both FH are going to put our foot down and say no parents, only bridal party and friends. They are throwing us a Jack and Jill co-ed party anyways. That can be their fun time with everyone. Thanks for the advice ladies. @Amy you crack me up!

My MIL was at my Bachelorette party. but to be fair, I didn't know it would be. I thought it was just a nice little Bridal shower. It started out to be too until the stripper showed up. My MOH surprised me with that. I invited all the women from my wedding too Grandma and everything lol.

It wasn't so bad, we all had a fun time and laughed alot. No one really took the "stripper" thing seriously. And my Grandma even got a lap dance so it was all good and My MIL was fine with it. I am sure she's done worse things than that in her life too.

Do you have one or two older friends or relatives whom you could "conscript" to help you out? She/they could go with you, your MOH, a specially selected few of your friends (and your FMIL) to dinner and "latch on" to FMIL....and then, at the time you have already arranged, she/they can tell FMIL - well okay, this is the part of the program where we have to let the young ladies have their freedom. And then /they can keep FMIL busy while you and your friends bust a move out of there.

I didn't come up with this idea myself....one of my brides used this plan and it worked beautifully. FMIL never knew it was planned out beforehand. She felt included, and that's what it was all about. And, the bride was able to enjoy her BP with no worries.

Best of luck to you!!

JUST SAY NO..

Update! 2 months later FH still hadnt told his mom. My MOH, being as AWESOME as she is, called him and told him he had one week to tell his mom or SHE was going to. lolol. That light a fire under his a$$ and he told her. Now she is upset, her feelings are hurt. She doesn't understand why I wouldn't want her there. Why would a 55 yr old woman be upset about not hanging out with a bunch of twenty-somethings anyways? Here we go...