fmil and Lingerie

That is so awkward lol I mean kinda nice of her but so uncomfortable and weird

I totally get it. My FMIL is constantly giving me lingerie from thrift stores... she tells me I’ll need them on our honeymoon. I take them, smile, say thank you but it is VERY uncomfortable for me, too. I’d rather not wear something my FMIL gave to me for her son! Yikes. I usually end up donating it back because I just can’t wear it for my FH. Makes me feel weird. I had to tell my FMIL to please stop buying it, lol.


Honestly, I would tell her you actually bought some so she doesn’t spend a ton of money on it! I know you would be lying but I’d rather lie and let her down gently than have her spend $50 on lingerie(it’s not cheap) and be uncomfortable and never wear it.
I’d check out SHEIN, by the way. They have super cute but affordable lingerie!

Oh no I'd be so uncomfortable too 🙈 my FMIL loves being helpful and finding things we need in our lives, but that would be too much. 🙈 I think saying you found some already is best so you don't have to point out why that makes you uncomfortable... You'd think it goes without saying. 🙈

I'm sorry, I would be uncomfortable, too.

I repeatedly told my mother not to buy me anything... refused to giver her my size... she bought stuff and gave it to me at our co-ed shower. So. I understand the YIKES factor.

Is there any way you can simply say that it makes you uncomfortable?

This is not a thing FMILs usually do. Just tell her thank you but I’m not comfortable doing that and move on. That’s just weird!

If you feel uncomfortable then it’s not okay and you should maybe try and tell her that. It’s definitely not a “normal” thing. I think it just depends on your relationship with your fmil. My fmil and I went together to pick out lingerie but it’s just because that’s our dynamic, we are super close and was a bonding experience

Um, yikes. I would definitely tell her you found some on sale and run for the hills. Regardless of whether I think its bizarre or not, she clearly made you uncomfortable even though it sounds like she was trying to help. I just don't think she should have any idea what her daughter in law is wearing lol, and clearly you kind of agree. She may still buy you something, but I think she's trying to come from a good place. Sounds like she thinks this might be what's expected of fmils.

I would be super honest with her and tell her you feel uncomfortable and really want that to be something you pick out special on your own. Maybe find something else she can help you find, so she still feels like she is important to your wedding planning process.
That would definitely bother me but I know this can be common with some mothers and mother in laws. I’m sure she will respect your honesty.
Best of luck!

No girl, that's just weird. Honestly, it might be best to try to get your FH to talk to her. I feel like he's allowed to be a bit more direct.

At my sister's shower, her MIL gifted her some slinky nighties and such which I know my sister wouldn't wear and we all thought it was a bit odd coming from her but my sister just smiled and thanked her haha. Maybe some MIL's think this is a thing for some reason? Hope mine doesn't try it! But like others have said, I would just tell her you already have it covered and if she still gives you some, I would just thank her and likely not wear it haha

Yikes. I have a great relationship with my MIL, but I would be super uncomfortable with that lol. I feel like lingerie is something you buy alone or maybe with a friend, definitely not mom or MIL lol.

I'm glad I'm not alone in this! My FMIL also tried to go shopping for wedding night lingerie with me. After going wedding dress shopping we all went to the mall to look for dresses for her and my mother, and my mom suggested that I go into Victoria's Secret and buy it that day (since we don't have one where I live), then FMIL tried to make it a group thing. Thankfully my mother suggested the two of them go get manicures so that my sister and I could do some shopping on our own. But when we all met up afterwards she asked to see what I bought (that was the only thing) and it was SO awkward!

I WISH MY FMIL DID THIS!!! lmao, I'm just super open but she is not when it comes to that stuff.

I get how this is really weird nowadays, but depending on your FMIL's age, it was more common in the past. It used to be kind of a thing that the MOB would buy a really pretty/nice quality lingerie set -- often as a shower gift. Especially since she has no daughters, your FMIL might think this is a nice thing for her to do. (I'm not talking about something particularly outlandish. "Back in the day," it was often referred to as a peignoir set, and was typically much higher-end than what most young women would buy or own pre-wedding.) FWIW I did buy my daughter a very pretty silk and lace nightie and robe, and gave it to her as a shower gift. I have no idea if she's ever worn it. She knows the story about her gramma, so it was mostly a nod to gramma and she was fine with it.

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Haha! Me too! My MIL and I get along so well she is so easy to talk to about ANYTHING. I wouldn't mind it, but as a mother I don't know if I would ever be able to do it for my sons future wife when the time comes.

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I thought I was the only one. lmao.!

It seems like a nice offer and a sweet thing for her to do for you. You don't have to buy anything crazy, you could buy silk pajamas or something. It wouldn't phase me to talk about sex or shop for lingerie with my mother in law, she obviously knows her son is an adult.

View Quoted Comment That's how I'm taking it. But I don't want her know. I mean shes a sweet lady but don't think her and I are always hanging out. We dont have that relationship. Plus when it comes to that type of stuff, I was raised to not even mention anything sex related to someone older. But I really dont want her to know what I'm going to use to seduce her son lol. I know shes excited to finally have a daughter, so that's why she thinks this is normal. Not to me lol.

View Quoted Comment I was about to mention if I should talk to him. This is not the first time I have talked to him about his mom. I know she gets so excited, that there has been many times I felt uncomfortable. It's nothing real bad but she would want to go out every weekend. I finally had to tell my fh that her mom is bugging me. He didnt get mad but told me to be patient with her. He did talk to her and she backed off. Now this, I kinda want to. I'm not even taking my mom with me to buy that stuff. To me, It freaks me out that they'll know what I'm doing that night. I know it's a natural thing but to me it freaks me out. But thanks for suggesting that.

View Quoted Comment I know lol. I mean, are they excited that their sons are getting it? Lol. If I have kids, I dont think I can do that. I know sex is natural but I know I dont like thinking that is happening. Like I tell my brother, I would like to think he only had sex 2 times to have my niece and nephew lol.