First Look or Wait??

View Quoted Comment This is exactly why we did a first look. My husband is very reserved about his emotions in front of his family because they always told him “boys don’t get emotional”. I knew he’d have more raw emotion if we did the first look alone and then because we’d already seen each other, his emotions were already fired up and he probably reacted more to me walking down the aisle than he would have if we hadn’t already seen each other.

View Quoted Comment My line of thinking isn't that he won't have an emotional reaction unless I'm walking down the aisle, of course he will, it's our wedding. For us as a couple, we just agree that there would be more emotion *for us personally* if I'm walking down the aisle, because we will get to share that first moment with everyone. As a couple that has been largely private and also unsupported by my family, we want our first moment to be big and out in the open.

I think people are misunderstanding my comment about not doing a first look. I'm not saying that first looks are staged, and the majority of people who do first look love it and it's a great way for them to get photos and a few blissful moments with their soon to be spouse. For me personally, it would just not be as candid and maybe slightly uncomfortable because my fiance and I do better with crowds and a camera, rather than just us and a camera. He's said to me that he would notice the camera more in a first look than when I'm walking down the aisle, maybe just because there's more people and things to focus on in the ceremony.

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That's a very good point!

We haven't really talked much about whether or not either would be best, although I feel the same with regards to not having much time thru the day to spend quietly together and that is why I'm leaning more toward the first look.

He is pretty easy going with planning and doesn't hesitate to add his opinion where needed, but we wll definitely have to discuss while photo planning.

We are doing a first look. Waiting until your walk down the isle is romantic too, but when you have a first look, you can show your emotions and talk to each other. Also, when you have a first look it can calm those nerves for when you make your entrance.

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I think honestly we will end up doing the first look. My FH is very emotional (as much as e tries to deny it LOL) so I think the first look and walking down the aisle will both be a varied emotional experience.

I also am very emotional so I don't think the first look will take away from anything at all

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So much yes to everything Kelsey Brielle said!

Doing a first look gave us more time to do pictures, got photos out of the way before the ceremony, and let us mingle with our guests and enjoy our cocktail hour! Most importantly, seeing my groom calmed my nerves and anxiety in a big way. I think I would have freaked out if the first time I saw him was walking down the aisle!

Doing a first look didn't take anything away from the walking down the aisle moment, and I think I have amazing reaction pictures of both the first look and processional moments!

First Look

Photo Credit: Samantha Laffoon Photography

Walking Down the Aisle

Photo Credit: Samantha Laffoon Photography

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That's fine, we'll just agree to disagree (the way you're tired of people assuming the most emotional reaction is at a first look is how I feel about people assuming it's down the aisle) It just makes me sad when people think those "really emotional, really teary" photos aren't genuine. Your FH shouldn't feel he HAS to be that way, of course he doesn't have to have the same reaction. My husband didn't cry either.

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I think these are good points as well Annisa! I definitely felt like there was pressure to have this amazing first look reaction, and I actually got really impatient waiting for the photographer and videographer to test their lighting and set up the 'first look moment'. However - being able to see, hug, and kiss each other before the ceremony was a big centering and grounding moment for me and it let us both release a deep breath and relax. I wouldn't trade that moment for the world!!

Another option would be to do a private non-photographed first look, or have a private "reveal" then do couples pictures. That would take any photographic pressure off the moment!

We also really appreciated being done with everything that felt like a "to-do" checklist item as early as possible so we could just enjoy the reception. Getting photos out of the way so we could eat and mingle with guests at cocktail hour was awesome. And as a bridesmaid I love being done with everything immediately following the ceremony!

I'm personally waiting for him to see me when I walk down the aisle. I always get emotional at wedding when the groom sees the bride walking down the aisle for the first time. But that also means we are sacrificing attending cocktail hour, but that's okay with us. One of my friend's did the first look because it was more intimate. I think both are great, it's just whatever fits your personality.

Oh, Lynnie, Both of those groom photos are treasures!

So I think we have the pros and cons of a First Look here.

I'll add one more: There was a bride on here not so very long ago, who was very unhappy with her makeup the day of the wedding. Part of her later regret was the (not very good) look on her husband's face as she walked down the aisle. Apparently, her makeup was so Much that she didn't look like herself. Perhaps if there had been a first look, even though that might not have gone so well, she then could have gone back, wiped off some of the makeup, and started over. Just a thought.

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That's a good point of view also! If we have an emotional, cry-fest first look (and knowing me I'll bawl lol) it would give me a chance to compose myself and touch up my make up before a tearful walk down the aisle. I like that perspective...thank you!

I’ve loved every single first look I’ve seen, and I like the idea of spending some time together, but FH and I are traditional and have both always dreamed of the moment he sees me for the first time being when I walk down the aisle!! It’s definitely up to each couple and their preferences. ❤️😊

As of right now ..we are not doing a first look. Only because fh does not want too. But I say go for the first look it could help with nerves.

View Quoted Comment #1 is the reason why I'm not doing a first look. Neither of us are outwardly very emotional people and I feel that doing a First Look, we would have to put on a little show for nice pictures that might not be entirely real.

We aren't doing a first look. My FH will more than likely cry either way, he's a big crier. lol. We are throwing a lot of traditions aside, but this is one we feel strongly about keeping.

We're doing a first look. I want FH & I to have a few minutes alone (with the photographer obviously) to really take it all in. When my emotions are running high, and they will be on our wedding day, he calms me down. I also think FH is more likely to cry during our first look than when I am walking down the aisle in front of everyone.

Plus, we have some amazing appetizers at our cocktail hour that we are really looking forward to.

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We're doing a first look so we (and our BP/family) can enjoy cocktail hour with our guests. But I absolutely love how you laid this out. FH and I are both reserved when it comes to displaying emotions in front of other people. Having a moment with just the two of us to really experience seeing each other for the first time on our wedding day, without 100 pairs of eyes watching our reactions, will be SO much more emotional for us. I doubt I'll cry when walking down the aisle, but there's definitely a chance I might cry when we do our first look.

We're doing a first look. In fact I've been adamant about it from the beginning. There's a few reasons:

1) I want a few private moments with my fiance before we get thrown into 75 other people who will also want his attention. I like the idea of being able to spend an hour together before the wedding where we can talk, and walk around, and calm our nerves before the ceremony starts. Our photographer doesn't really do a lot of posed photos, so I'm anticipating being able to just act candidly together and she'll capture it.

2) My guy isn't a crier, or much of an emotion show-er in general, so I'm not expecting any amazing "reaction" shots regardless of location. If anything he actually might be a little bit more affectionate towards me if we don't have people around whom we know & would give him a hard time.

3) I am a stress crier. I know my anxiety would be through the roof if we waited until the ceremony and I would be a hot mess. I'm hoping a First Look will be just be exciting/fun instead of nerve wrecking. Plus I'll have an opportunity to fix my makeup before seeing anyone if I do cry, which is a luxury I would not have if I'm sobbing down the aisle.

4) We want to get all of our portraits out of the way before the ceremony so we can join the party as quickly as possible. This includes family photos. The only formal pics we want to take after the ceremony are a few at sunset since we're going to be out on the water and I think it could make for a beautiful backdrop if the cloud cover cooperates.

5) I'm throwing around the idea of us walking in to the ceremony together, thus eliminating the whole "first time seeing her is when she's walking down the aisle" thing.

6) My first wedding we waited until the ceremony to see each other. I barely remember looking at him because I was focused on trying not to trip on my dress. It also made portraits feel rushed and stressful because we had to fit everything into the cocktail hour. This time I want to be able to take our time, go to a few different locations, and not feel like we're missing out on mingling with our guests because we prioritized photos over hosting.

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This offers a very great perspective and much to consider. I appreciate that! I also worry that if I wait I will be so overwhelmed that in hindsight it wont seem as special even though it most certainly will be!

I feel like a first look takes away the whole entire idea of you walking down the isle and that being his first time seeing you?? I am deff. not doing a first look.