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Dedicated July 2019

First Look but no Inlaw pics?

Nicki, on May 22, 2019 at 9:37 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 21
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I didn’t know how to word this title...

My FH and I are doing a first look because we want that moment to be private. This also saves us the time after the ceremony and we can get fun wedding party shots in too during this time.

i was talking to my photographer about timeline today and she mentioned also doing immediate family portraits before the ceremony. I was a bit taken back because, while I knew my mom would see me and I wanted to have a first look moment with my dad, I didn’t realize the whole family would see me including in-laws and grandparents.

I mentioned this and said that I wasn’t sure I wanted this and she was super flexible and said we could move those photos until after the ceremony.

Am I bring weird about not wanting another 10 people or so (step parents are included in all of this) to see me? Should I just get over it? I don’t do well in the spot light /with compliments so I want to avoid as much individual ooing and aweing.


  • Kat_
    Super October 2019
    Kat_ ·
    • Flag
    I think it’s your day and it should feel right for you and your FH. Follow your instinct and you can’t go wrong ☺️ It’s all about the two of you! Make it exactly what you want
    • Reply
  • Rachael
    Expert October 2019
    Rachael ·
    • Flag

    Not weird at all!! It's not a part of what you were imagining, and its not necessary to have others see you before either. I think it was more just your photog trying to get a feel for what exactly you want throughout your day, and didn't want to exclude other people if you wanted them to be a part of the first look just on assumptions.

    • Reply
  • SummerBrideInAutumn
    VIP October 2019
    SummerBrideInAutumn ·
    • Flag
    Nope, not weird! This is similar to what me and FH are going to do. I didn’t really want to do a first look, but he did. He thought it would make him less nervous and that I would get a more genuine reaction if it were just the 2 of us. We compromised and decided to do a first look with just us but that’s where I’m drawing the line. We aren’t going to do complete wedding party photos or family photos. Those can wait until after the ceremony. I want the first look to be just us and then we’ll part ways again until I walk down the aisle.
    • Reply
  • Lizbeth
    Devoted July 2019
    Lizbeth ·
    • Flag
    Not wierd. While it does save time I personally feel it takes away from that big moment of the bride entering.
    The only pictures I'm going to take beforehand is me with the bridal party , mom and grandpa (I'm doing a first look with him). Then my FH will take pictures with his mom, then with the bridal party.

    After the ceremony we will take all those other pictures
    • Reply
  • VIP September 2019
    • Flag
    We are doing the bridal party pictures meaning all my girls and my mother, a first look between him and I, and then the rest of the wedding party pictures. The family pictures and for 15-20 minutes after the ceremony before cocktail hour. I don't think you're being weird at all.
    • Reply
  • Alli
    Devoted October 2020
    Alli ·
    • Flag

    I agree with PPs. It's definitely not weird. Whatever you imagine is what you should try and make happen! We are not doing a first look, but I do want bridal party/mom/grandpa/FMIL/etc with each of us separate all done before the ceremony. But this is mostly because we have our venue for 4-5 hours total and I don't want our entire reception to be us taking pictures. Just be open with your photographer about what you want out of the day!

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  • WifeyPoo
    Devoted July 2019
    WifeyPoo ·
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    Do what you want. It's your day and you have your reasoning. Smiley heart

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  • Danielle K
    VIP June 2019
    Danielle K ·
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    As PP said this is not weird at all. I am also doing first look and all immediate family photos before the ceremony but my timeline was more important to me than everyone seeing me. you have to know your priorities and stick with what you want.

    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Savvy June 2019
    Danielle ·
    • Flag
    Not weird at all! My fiancé and I are actually going off site from where we are both getting ready so that not even our bridal party sees us/watches us. We want our first look to be special and just us (but oddly I don’t care if strangers watch from afar).
    • Reply
  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
    • Flag

    Not weird at all! And you're still getting a big chunk of the photos done before the wedding, so it still helps your photo timeline in a big way!

    We did a first look and all of our pictures together and with our wedding party before the ceremony, but didn't do family pictures until after. For us this was a logistical choice - I didn't want to have to rely on all of our family members showing up early and on time for pre-ceremony pictures. We just asked family to stay in the church when the ceremony ended and cranked them out pretty quickly!

    • Reply
  • darcy
    Devoted June 2019
    darcy ·
    • Flag

    Actually I think that's a great idea and I you may have just inspired me to do the same! We are getting married at a friends home and they live about 10 minutes away from the really cute downtown portion of where we live. So I wanted to go there before the ceremony to do a first look and get photos done with a cool back drop. I was originally going to bring the bridal party and family, but it sounds more appealing to me to just have FH and the bridal party there.

    • Reply
  • S
    Dedicated June 2020
    Shannon ·
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    I totally agree with you I just want wedding party and parents to see not every family member they can wait for the wedding.
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    You are quite reasonable. Do it with just FI, bridal party. No one else need come that early. Getting these photos done early means a much shorter break where you are away from your guests after the ceremony. Good time to do family photos is then, or pick 20-30 minutes after dinner sometime at the reception, for family and friends, after they saw the ceremony. Put whatever limits you want on when photos are done.
    • Reply
  • Heather
    Savvy December 2019
    Heather ·
    • Flag
    I’m doing first look. One with my dad.
    Then my husband.
    We’re doing bridal party photos before ceremony.

    After is family stuff. I still plan to be tucked away in the bridal suite 25 min before people start arriving.
    • Reply
  • Sherry
    Rockstar September 2019
    Sherry ·
    • Flag

    I've not been to many weddings in recent days but I have actually never heard of any first look photos other than the dad and FH. Well obviously the mom since she is usually helping to get ready but otherwise, where is the surprise if everyone sees you before hand?

    • Reply
  • Allie
    Master August 2019
    Allie ·
    • Flag

    I'm doing as many pictures as I can before the ceremony. I am going to ask immediate family (and slightly extended family) to show up at certain times to get pictures.

    • Reply
  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
    • Flag
    No not weird.
    That's the one thing I regret about our day.
    We did a first look then I wanted to do wedding party photos after.
    But my parents, grandparents and family friend ended up coming and everybody frickin lined up to watch the first look. I thought the grandparents were going to the church and I had expected my family to stay in the car and do the family ones after the ceremony....but I still feel so bad about getting more photos with my family than with the in laws.
    • Reply
  • A
    Dedicated October 2019
    Alexandria ·
    • Flag

    I am doing a first look, bride/groom pics, wedding party pics, and parent (mine and in-laws) pictures. After the ceremony we are having full family photos (grandparents and aunts/uncles).

    • Reply
  • Aubree
    Dedicated January 2020
    Aubree ·
    • Flag
    Girl you are not being weird! Do what makes you comfortable. It is your day. You don’t want to be put in any anxiety prone situations. Best of luck
    • Reply
  • Mable
    Savvy October 2020
    Mable ·
    • Flag
    Nope not weird we are doing the same thing. Just the two of us then we will do family photos after.
    • Reply

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