First Dances...y or N? Help!

My FH has social anxiety too and I know there is no first dance. I cannot even get him to dance at other people's weddings. Maybe you two could do something in private with just the photographer for evidence during the cocktail hour or while others are dancing and same with his mom...something in private just those two?

How about you do something like an anniversary dance during your first dance so that you and your FH aren't in the spotlight? As far as the mother/son dance, would you feel more comfortable dancing with your dad while your FH is simultaneously dancing with his mother? If not, you could totally skip the father daughter dance and just let your FH share that moment with his mom.

View Quoted Comment

I like that idea, however there won't be very many couples who can participate as my moms parents have passed and FH grandparents are divorced. I will think about it though, thank you! I probably would, and will probably suck it up so it doesn't cause drama haha...

Are you doing a cocktail hour? If so, you could do a private first dance as a couple while your guests are at cocktail hour? You could do this in a separate room with just you, your fiance, and your photographer (and videographer if you have one). Your fiance could also do a mother-son dance in the same room while everyone else is at cocktail hour. That way, you could still do the dances, but not in front of a lot of people. Otherwise, you could also do them at the very end of the night, as the very last songs? Some people may leave the reception before the very end, so you'd likely have less people there to watch the dance. It's also OK to skip the father-daughter dance if you don't want to do one. My fiance is doing a mother-son dance, but I'm skipping the father-daughter dance for my wedding. I'm very shy and I stress about dancing in front of people. My fiance and I took dance lessons so I could feel more comfortable, and they ended up being awesome! I feel more confident in surviving our first dance, and the lessons were a great date night. If you do end up deciding to do the first dance in front of everyone, dance lessons may help you feel more comfortable.

It's not required. Don't feel pressured to dance at all if you are not comfortable. Many weddings skip dancing altogether and they are just as lovely and valid. Make sure your vendors are aware of your plans.

View Quoted Comment

We thought about that, but there isn't much room to do that privately. There is one big room that will be set up with tables and chairs, and everyone else will be in the backyard. Plus with the VERY limited time we get at the venue we will be taking pictures like crazy. Thank you for your comment!

View Quoted Comment

I have limited time but I think you should fit it in even if the dance is outside with a cell phone and a blue tooth speaker or in the room where you got ready. Otherwise the option is take some drinks and do it in front of everyone. I do not mean to sound harsh but work with what you have.

View Quoted Comment

Yes, but that is our main picture taking time since we are not allowed in the venue until 2 and guests start arriving at 3. We don't have a separate room big enough to do that, but thank you for your comment! Dance lessons do sound fun! (although we may have to bandage our feet afterwards lmao)

View Quoted Comment

Thank you for your comment!

View Quoted Comment

No I understand! Thank you!

You can do a first dance alone, just the two of you, during your wedding photos if you want to avoid eyes on you.

We had to elope because of Covid, but we ended up doing our first dance anyway. We had a small Bluetooth speaker and just played the song from my husband's phone and did it right on the grass at the ceremony site. It was just a few minutes long, but one of the parts I loved most about that day.

Not sure if this will make you feel better or worse, but a lot of guests just chat quietly to each other through these dances and don’t pay much attention to the couple dancing at all (unless you’re forcing them to stand in a circle close around you). So do it if it has meaning for you! Plus it’ll give you a few uninterrupted moments with your spouse. 😊

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your comment! That is certainly something to keep in mind, even if we have only 60 people and a small room to do it in...haha!

View Quoted Comment

Thank you for your comment! We'll see what we can do!

I have social anxiety and I wanted to do a first dance because it was important to me. My fiance who is definitely the people person between us, was unsure about it because he can't dance and he didn't want to do a mother son dance. We are doing both and we picked a song that is kind of "relationship" song. His mom let him pick the mother son song. I would just go with what makes you guys happy and not have any regrets about.

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I hope yours goes well!

View Quoted Comment Thank you! I hope so too and I hope yours does too if you choose to have it.