Finding the right wording for invitations

Off of what I've gotten from lurking, there is no way to politely ask for money. You just make a small registry with a few upgrades, and then if people still want to give you something, they'll most likely give cash. I'm not sure what to tell you about uninvited people, just thinking about that makes me so frustrated for you! I hope it works out.

There is no way to ask for cash and not be greedy.

Don't register, people will get the idea. I didn't and got 100% cash/checks.

Invitations: address it to just those invited.

RSVP card: ____ seat(s) have been reserved in your honor.

Don't do a registry at all. Most guests give money at the wedding.

For your invites, you can say "(blank) number of seats have been reserved in your honor."

1. you invite the exact people you want to invite, not families. On the rsvp, you put the exact number of people you want to RSVP.

Forget asking for money ; there is no way to put it nicely because it's not nice. You don't need new towels? A kitchen aid? A gorgeous LeCreuset dutch oven? Great knives?

Even I do, and I'm ancient.

Make a small registry; you'll get mostly money anyway, since it's the simplest way for people to gift you, but honeymoon funds are spectacularly rude.

On the invites, you put, "X amount of seats have been reserved in your honor."

And there is no way to ask for money that doesn't sound greedy or ungrateful. Any post that tries to sell you on a cutesy poem is full of it *and* is making a mockery of a beautiful written craft.

The latter of which is just a side note from a bitter poet.

Thanks everyone for the advice. I'm just seriously concerned that the few family members I choose to invite (very few) will disregard me saying I only have so many seats. Seems like that's my best bet though.

As far as the money goes, I really don't need anything as FH and I both had full sets of everything when we moved in, so we've already got "too much" for our small home and I'm trying hard to avoid bringing in even more. We did already make our registry very small, adding the few things we did need, so I guess I'll leave anything else out of the invitations and just hope for the best. We're paying for the entire wedding and honeymoon 100% ourselves and were both simply hoping we could give some sort of small encouragement towards a more beneficial gift from guests.

I had seen some brides booking their honeymoon through a travel agent and listing the agent info, along with the registry, in the invites - anyone tried this and had it work out?

A lot of people here are paying for everything themselves.

If you ask for money it will come off as tacky. (This includes honeyfunds, etc.)

Just don't register. People will know to give you money.

There should be no mention of gifts, registries, money, or honeymoon funds on an invitation at ALL. It is not polite to ask for anything. The only place a registry is listed is a shower invitation. And if you don't want any traditional gifts, then you wouldn't have a shower anyway.

Regarding people invited: you don't saying anything like "no uninvited guests" - that is rude. You address the envelope to the specific people invited and can use the "seats reserved" line on the RSVP card as others have suggested.

Emily - do not do that. Leave it alone. Let people gift whatever they want to gift - you're pushing it.

FYI lots of us are paying for our wedding and honeymoon ourselves.

Yeah, to second @Sarah, registry info does not go in the invitations. It is rude af to assume that people are getting you gifts. Most do, but you don't assault them with gift-giving advice in the invitation. They can find it on your wedding website, through Google, or ask you parents in the good old fashioned way.

Most people here are paying for everything themselves. They are also not asking for money.

Do not list any registry or travel information in the invites. The invitations are for information about your wedding only.

Leave your registry as is. People will mostly gift cash. Really.

Follow the advice you got about specifically addressing invites and writing how many seats have been reserved in the rsvps. If someone writes more than what they are allowed, call them and tell them that due to venue constraints, you cannot accommodate them.

You never, ever ask for money. It's equivalent to panhandling, which is completely inappropriate at a party you are literally paying thousands to host. Just don't register. People aren't stupid, they'll take the hint.

Just remember, if you don't register, you shouldn't have a shower, since that's the whole purpose of a registry.

That said, as for handling people bringing uninvited guests, you follow the example pp have given on the RSVP card. When people change them, which the super rude will inevitably do, you call them and say, "I see you RSVPed for x, but we can only accommodate those named on the invitation. We understand if this means you can't still make it. Should we expect you there?" This makes it clear the uninvited guest is unwelcome and will not be accommodated, while still being polite and confirming whether they will or won't attend without their extra.

You can make a registry that is just for excursions on your honeymoon. There is a website that has a registry just for honeymoon things.

@sappy really? I hadn't heard about that! Do you happen to know the website link? I can always delve into Google if you don't haha. Thanks so much that is super helpful.

Its called honey fund and they take money that your guests have given you. Pleas let adults be fucking adults and gift as they see fit.

Stop it sappy. They take a percentage, you don't get 'an excursion", you get a check minus their fee, and FSS, it's easier to put a check into the envelope and call it a day.

So *in other words*, the answer you wanted is the answer you think is correct.

Shocking.

Nooooo don't listen to Sappy. That is still considered tacky and rude.

You know you all are saying I'm rude for even considering asking for money but yall sure come off rude trying to tell me what to do.

No I don't need people to just gift what they want to gift - that's not a bad thing. I don't want people I care about spending money on stuff I'll never use, ever. It's such a waste.

Just wanted help trying to word things - also why my wording on my op was "rude" for an invite - I know that and that's why I asked for wording help. But I'm not just going to do nothing and hope for the best and have people waste time and money.

So, anyone have anything helpful to input?

I saw on another thread to put _ of _ guests will be there, where you fill in the second blank to establish a definite guest number