fil diagnosed with terminal cancer and won’t make it to the wedding date

I am so sorry to hear about this! My fiancé is kind of going through a similar situation. His father isn't dying but 4 years ago he was diagnosed with paranoid Schizophrenia. His dad is still in denial till this day and because of that he don't take the medicine that his recommend for his health. Because of this my fiancé has "lost" his dad in a sense. His dad was like his bestfriend and it has been such an emotional rollercoaster for my fiancé especially since his dad won't be there.

So, my words of advice to you is, don't bring up his dad unless he do. You might think you're heling by continuing to bring it up but it makes it worse. The best way to be there for your future husband is, just be there. When he needs to cry let him, when he's angry let him, he won't be the same person for a little and that's normal. Just make sure you watch for signs for depression or if it seem he can't shake off his father death then that might be time for you to recommend his talking to someone. My fiancé is not yours but he do enjoy only talking to me but if he don't want to put to much pressure on you then just reiterate to him that you're here for him and that he's not a burden; because it us, "for better or for worse" after all.

Also this may not be something you want to hear but you might want to ask him if he still want to get married right now. It's a lot go handle and a lot of emotion and it might not be something he want to jump into until he can handle his father death better, when that day happen. But I hope you both can figure out what's best for you.

I am so sorry that you, your fiancé, and your families are going through this. As long as he is up for it, I think having a ceremony at your FIL’s house is such a wonderful way to make sure he is still involved in your wedding and that both of your families get to celebrate while he’s still with you. I would just focus on planning that ceremony for now, keep it simple, and ask FIL if there’s any planning he wants to help with so he has something exciting to focus on among all his stress. Then focus on supporting FH and his family through the remainder of his illness. I would honestly postpone the reception a bit because you don’t know the timeline moving forward and the emotional impact it will have on you all. If you’ve already booked venues for your original plans, review your contracts so you know the terms of cancellation/postponement, but also reach out to talk to the vendors because some of them might make exceptions to their terms given the circumstances. And if you’ve already invited guests, just send out a cancellation or postponement notice. They will definitely understand. And when you’re ready to rebook, you can do a vow renewal if you still want to hold a ceremony before a bigger group of loved ones.

I m am so sorry to hear your news. Having some of life's saddest moments and happiest moments happening during the same time period can be so confusing. But it's important to allow yourselves to feel every emotion.

A similar situation happened to my best friend several years ago. Her dad was diagnosed with cancer shortly after she got engaged their wedding was scheduled for October but in June it became very clear he didn't have much time left. At first she didn't want to push up the wedding because to her it felt like she was giving up on him and it was hard to admit to herself he was dying. But ultimately they decided to get legally married in her parents front yard. Her friends and family all rallied to put this together in under 2 weeks. She had her hair and make up trial the morning of the legal wedding so she felt very bridal. Her original wedding dress was not ready yet so we went to a department store and bought a really cute short white dress (she ended up wearing this as a party dress at the Oct reception too),they didn't invite many of their friends to this instead it was their immediate families and she invited all the people her dad wanted to see one last time (in total there were less then 30 people there), ordered his favorite foods from a local restaurant, the nearby bakery donated pastries and cookies. A close friend took photos and her brother put together a lovely play list that was played on a bluetooth speaker. It was such a special night that was filled with so much love and joy. Her dad was so sick but so happy to be there. He passed away less than a week later and she still treasures those photos and memories. It was probably one of the most beautiful and special weddings I have ever witnessed. They had the big wedding in October as planned which was much larger. It does not have to be big or expensive just surround yourselves with love!!

Wishing you all peace, love and healing through this difficult time *hugs*