Fiancé's 15 year old sister as bridesmaid?

I would lean towards not asking her personally. I don't think you should ask someone just for the sake of asking them. You ask the people you want to stand next to you.

There is nothing requiring you to ask her, I think it's okay not to. I'm having my FH's sister who will almost be 17 as a bridesmaid and she's been really happy for us, but not really old enough to be the typical bridesmaid which is fine by me. But if you would want her help plan a bridal shower and everything I don't think it'll happen. I don't think she'd be hurt...just stick with the other girls.

Maybe find another role for her to play so she still feels included so she and FH is happy, and you still have an even bridal party. She could be a greeter, read a passage or sing something, be in charge of the guest book or gift table, or help people find their seats on the seating chart for example. You shouldn't have to add someone to the bridal party that you don't want though.

My fiances sister is 14 and I am not having her as a bridesmaid. I am having her do a reading though. I wanted to include her somehow, but didn't think it was appropriate to have her as a bridesmaid.

If you aren't close, don't ask her to be a bridesmaid.

But for the sake of minimising potential issues and being nice, do try to involve her in some way.

From the opposite end: if my brother ever got married and for some reason his fiancé didn't want me as a bridesmaid I would be devastated.

With them being so close in age, she's 15 and probably isn't going to understand why you're not picking her but are her sister and she's going to be hurt.

My FH has two sisters: one 22 and one 17. I asked them both because I would never want to hurt the younger one's feelings. I have had zero issues with having a young bridesmaid.

Even though she is new to the whole wedding thing, she has been helpful. The older sister is getting married next year so it is a learning experience for them both Neither of his sisters has stood in a wedding before.

My bachelorette party was 2 weeks ago and even though we didn't go barhopping (which wasn't really what I wanted to do anyway) I had a blast! We stayed in hotel rooms out of town. Had a scavenger hunt around the city in two groups, ate at a nice restaurant where the above age ladies could have a drink (young bridesmaid had a virgin margarita) we played games in the hotel room, swam in the pool, sat in the hot tub.

If there is any chance the younger sister could feel slighted, I would ask. She is going to be your SIL. If you had two sisters would you pick one and not the other to stand?

Hurting her feelings and regretting the decision when I'm older are two of the things I'm most worried about. I don't want to look back in 15 years and have a great relationship but not have included her in my wedding because she was a few years younger. The problem is that if I were to include her, I would no longer be able to as one of my friends who I have known since we were 7 years old, were roommates in college, and completed nursing school together.

Honestly I would ask her. I realize you maynot be that close to her, but 15 year old girls have a tendency to get hurt really easily. If she is not interested then fine, but she should be included for the sake of not hurting her.

What Susan said.

And honestly, I'm not super close to FH's sisters (two of them) but asked them to stand up in the wedding. This IS a time and a chance for you to have the possibility of getting close to her and your future in laws. Do you really want to INTENTIONALLY exclude her? I truly believe that weddings are NOT about the bride and groom but the joining and celebration of two families coming together. Not asking her seems to be a step in the wrong direction.

I asked FH's sister, who is 13, because it was important to both of us to have our siblings included in the wedding. He asked my brother, who he has only seen maybe 10 times, and I asked my SIL (brother's wife) who I have seen probably half a dozen times. For us, the bridal party was about both of us, and so I asked his sister and he asked my brother, because those were people we wanted to have standing up with us during the wedding. My SIL I asked because she really is a wonderful, fun person and it's not her fault she grew up halfway across the country and I've hardly seen her. I will be seeing her for years in the future, so might as well do something that will cement that relationship now.

I will admit I did not ask FSIL for jack, BUT she does not speak to me or acknowledge I am in the same room for the most part (nutcase). I did ask her daughter now 10, to be JBM, know full well that FMIL would be handling that part.

I would ask her to be a bridesmaid but if you really set against that at least give her another role. Reader at the ceremony, greeter, special attendant to you etc....that way she is not completely left out.

I know this differs for different people, but I would never expect to be in my brother's wedding. If I were also a male, I'd probably expect to be a GM, but I wouldn't want his fiancee to include me just for the sake of pleasing my brother and then risk having her not ask someone else she really wanted up there with her instead.

Have you run it by your FH? The situation is a little more difficult since you are asking one sister, but not the other. I agree that it would be best to find a way for her to be involved in the wedding somehow. You could just say the wedding party is 21+ and that you'll find another activity for her.

Can I ask why you can't ask your friend if you ask her? I know you said your sides wouldn't be even but they don't need to be. I had uneven sides and had no problem at all.

I'm super close with one of FH's sisters and semi close with the other. I really like them both, just some weird character flaws on all of our ends and different backgrounds of acceptable daily behavior. Anywho! I asked them both to be bridesmaids. Mostly because I knew if I asked one and didn't ask the other it'd cause a huge shit storm, and I genuinely didn't want to upset anyone or make anyone feel excluded.

I really wouldn't mind asking her. I kind of would like to but it's between my fiancés youngest sister who I'm not close with and a friend I've had since we were 7. My fiancé says he doesn't care but that his mom will.

1) I still don't understand why it has to be one or the other

2) if this matters to his mom, I would do it. Do you really want her to think you're not accepting her daughter? That starts out bad, especially if he's close with his family.

Kylie, Based on the end of your last comment tells you what you should. Do you really want to start out married life upsetting your FMIL over this? Pick your battles, this one isn't really worth it to start one.

I would ask. My biggest fear would be hurting her feelings... 15 year olds are sensitive - especially since you are asking the older sister. I would have been devastated if my FH didn't ask my brother to stand-up with him since my brother and i are extremely close and the day wouldn't be the same without him up there. I also asked my FSIL - we aren't extremely close since she lives abroad and is only home a few weeks in the summer... but I like her a lot and I know it was meaningful to FH. Talk to FH and get his take on it also.