Fiance wants best friends to stay here during wedding week

Why can't they just pay for their own hotel? when you travel for a wedding it's expected that if you are staying you pay for a hotel, we always have

You and FH need to come to a compromise. Maybe up to the wedding, but not wedding night or after (that's weird if y'all are going to be there too). Our best man and his wife actually stayed with us preceding our wedding and it was fine. I just bought some sandwich stuff and fruit and made it clear that I wouldn't be able to entertain but they were free to use our guest room. They helped with some last minute details and other times they just went out and did their own thing.

No. They have plenty of time to save for a hotel. It's way too soon to say they can't afford it, and it's too much stress on you to be hosting people at your home for that long. Plus, you and FH should be with each other on your wedding night - not entertaining guests after you've spent the whole day entertaining.

If they can't afford it then why are they planning on coming?

So I've offered to let one of my BMs stay with me and FH before the wedding if she needs to. She is flying into Atlanta from Scotland and I don't want her to feel like she has to get a hotel too. But that's only up to the wedding, not after. Also it will be just her and we have a 2bed/ 2bath so she'd have her own private space. She's already said she probably won't take me up on the offer.

This sounds completely different. You and your FH need to get on the same page since it sounds like he's planning a fun week with his friend instead of focusing on the wedding. And seriously, they've got over a year to save for a hotel.

Hold up... you're over a year out and they're already telling you they can't afford it...? I call BS.

So they already know a year from now that they will not be able to afford a hotel, but they can afford to stay in your home for a week? What kind of rude friends does your FH have and why would he ask some a stupid thing as having someone staying with you on your wedding night? The answer is a simple "No". FH and I have separate places until we are married. I have offered my home up for some of the bridesmaids who are traveling and one of my other bridesmaids offered up her home as well. One being, because I won't even be at my house. I purchased an apartment for the weekend that I will use as a bridal suite and FH and I will use on our wedding night. Then when we head back to what is OUR home after we are married, all of the ladies will be gone by then and we will relax. The rest of the things you mentioned is just weird to me and I can't answer that.

That'd be a big NO from me. They can save the $ by then

If you save $1 per day from now until your wedding, you and your FH can afford your own hotel room for your wedding night. Let them stay at your house, given how far they are traveling. You have an extra bedroom. This shouldn't be that hard.

All I'm going to say is that it sounds like you and your FH have overextended yourself financially. Time to trim back.

Hi best friend!

Annie you really worry about things too far in advance

Telling the officiant no dinner for you

Who's staying with you the week of the wedding

Lauren B, I have very high levels of anxiety. I am the planner. It's normal for me to plan things 6 months to at least a year in advance. That's just who I am. I worry a lot in general.

I was debating to give an update because I thought this post was buried. After talking with my FH and father about this I came up with a compromise that I will extend 4 days to them: Friday and Saturday to them, the wedding night they can't stay here, and Monday and Tuesday night. I have 2 sensitive kitties with medical issues and unfortunately I just don't trust anyone but my father to take care of them when I'm not here and will not be comfortable with anyone, even his friends in my house without me. I feel if his friends who he hasn't seen in months due to their move, pay their way here he should see them and even my dad agrees because when will he see them next. They live in opposite locations in Canada. We'll figure out a place for them to stay. I for one, do not like hotels. I love my home and my babies and really do hate being away from them. Besides it is very important to me that we go to bed in my house alone and wake up together alone with my 2 boys as a family, husband and wife. FH understands and agrees with me and my compromise.

My husband and I will not live together after marriage. He will return in a week to Canada. I start grad school this summer and will still be in grad school next year. It's very important to us to have financial security. He will continue working up there and saving money, and I will work part-time to fund grad school and when I graduate I'll work for a year or two down here saving money for our future. It may not be the norm. But our plan works for us. I will be the one to move.

It's not that we overextended ourselves financially, it's just that we are stingy. It's going to cost a lot to move and we rather put more money for our future than our wedding.

I think it's very gracious of you to extend your home to these two people. Like most people have said, I'm a little confused why they can't save up themselves to stay in a hotel. There's plenty of time to do that between now and your wedding.

Good luck to you and FH in your marriage.

Thank you so much Audrey for your well wishes and kindness. It's honestly because I really had no idea how expensive the flights would be. For 2 adults roundtrip would be $1,200 +. Adding in hotels would be over $1,700. I do not want to crush my FH, because this is his best friend since middle school. FH's best friend and his gf moved in February. I definitely want to be a good wife and so I think without completely hogging him all to myself, that he should see his best friend too. I will see FH more than his best friend will.

Annie...are you and FH paying for their flights?

I think the word you're quickly moving over is "adult". That means that this best friend and his GF need to be adults and figure out if they can afford to attend your wedding. It's no different than you and FH staying in town for your honeymoon versus taking a trip. You're being savvy with your money. The best friend and GF need to do the same. My way to relate is that FH and I purchased a fixer upper house about a month ago. We're in the middle of renovations and unfortunately it has sucked up the money we would have used to go to Italy on our honeymoon. We're still going to take a trip, however Italy will need to wait until our first anniversary. That's called being an adult.

Again you have a kind heart that is concerned for the best friend and his GF, but let THEM figure their finances out.

"Different strokes for different folks" is all I can say. Glad it all worked out for you.

^^^^ THIS. 100%.

No, FH and I are not paying for their flights. I think it would crush FH if they weren't here though. I really do not know their financial situation but that's why I told him if they can find a way here they can stay 2 days before and 2 nights after but not the wedding night.

Congrats on your new home! I got mine a couple years ago and I love it! So small and comfortable.

I understand with the honeymoon and having to put it on hold. The week he comes down is basically our honeymoon. We rather save the money for a house up there and to bring me up including lawyer and moving fees.

It's okay for us though. As long as we're with each other that's all that matters. Plus hopefully before having kids we can travel too.

FH and I are having some friends stay with us the few days before our wedding and they will be staying at our apartment on our wedding night but we are getting a hotel that night. I don't feel the need to entertain them or feed them because they are grown adults and can tend to themselves. They will understand that we have things to do and can't necessarily host them. I don't see a big deal with your FH's friends staying with you to help them save hotel costs but make it clear that they are on their own for meals and consider getting a hotel room for your wedding night. FH and I stayed with his friends who got married last year but we never once expected them to provide us food. We paid for our meals and we cleaned their apartment for them the day after their wedding.