Fiance hasn't even told his parents.

Yikes I would be concerned

You dont have to get along with your IL, sure it makes life sparkly and grand if you do, but its not necessary to have a successful marriage. What you do need is a FH that supports you by being able to stand up for you, especially to his parents. If he cant do that.... consider holding off.

Oh and the longer you wait the worse it will be.

Maybe ask him to lay out his plan regarding telling them? With my first husband, it took me a few weeks to feel up to the task of telling my folks about the engagement. I always intended to do so well in advance of the wedding and it was NOTHING to do with my ex, just the kind of drama my father can throw into any situation.

You really need to have a discussion with him about this and that discussion needs to end with him telling his parents. If he can't tell them, I don't see how he'd be ready to get married.

FH's parents stopped talking to FH for about 8 months because I would not allow him to send them money (not money for food, money because they're useless). Called me a rich b!tch (lol I wish I was), told him he was changed, etc. It has destroyed their relationship. I found out he hadn't even told them after he asked me this last Saturday - and it was all over FB, so I made him send at least a text message that night.

You need to sit down with your fiancé and tell him he has to tell them, because it hurts you and makes you uncomfortable. You are worth whatever drama he may face.

Definitely time to sit down with him and let him know this makes you uncomfortable and that you would like to know when he plans on telling her.

My fiancé didn't tell his parents until 1.5 months after at least. But that is because we know they are not as supportive of our relationship and that they may not even attend.

If you both are concerned that she isn't your biggest fan - perhaps the wedding planning process can be a bonding opportunity. Even if at the end of it all she still isn't your biggest fan, such is life.

Are you both willing to move forward with the marriage if his mother never comes around? Maybe she is just having a hard time letting her baby boy go?

If he can't handle telling his parents that he's engaged because he's worried his mom will be upset, that's a HUGE problem. It's a warning that he MIGHT not be ready for marriage. Because along with that comes being able to stand up for his wife if family issues should arise (and they always do at some point in time).

I mean, he can't pretend he's not married for the rest of his life...

He's gotta tell her sooner rather than later. Rip off the Band-Aid, girlfriend.

To me, this is a huge red flag.

TBH, who cares if mommy doesn't like it? He isn't planning on spending the rest of his life living with her and being married to her, is he? If not, then he needs to man up and tell her.

ANY hesitation by DF when it came to telling his family about our engagement would have made me seriously reconsider the relationship in its entirety.

Have you asked him why?

Some people do have really shitty, shitty parents. I can think of a few (not necessarily mine) that I've met where I can completely understand not telling them anything ever if possible.

Hes going to have to tell her eventually. Make it sooner rather than later. You never know the planning process may bring ypu and fmil closer together

My fiance didn't tell his estranged dad we were engaged until he wrote him a letter about 6 months later. He hadn't seen his dad in a few years though.... Is there some reason why she wouldn't be excited?

He needs to man up and tell his parents. You don't have to get along with your in laws but they need to know that your joining the family.

Tell him to be a grown up and tell mommy. Eventually she'll find out and the longer it drags out, the worse it will be for everyone. Major red flag for what the future may bring.

To me, him not telling her is a sign of him not standing up for you. And it sounds like he's favoring her feelings over yours.

When you talk to him, let him know it's important to you that he stands up for you. Unfortunately if he won't, then he never will.

I hope your conversation goes well.

Eeesh, maybe ease up a little. We don't know what his folks are like. If his mom is really awful and Dad is prone to caving to her, Megan's FH may be working on his nerve to deal with a shitstorm.

When I was in his place, I just wanted a few weeks to bask in the glow of being newly engaged before the drama started.

I've tried explaing to him the longer he waits the worse it will be for everyone. If she doesn't like me then that is her issue and loss, I'm not going to bend over backwards for a woman who won't give me the time of day. I just keep picturing my life being like a really unfunny version of Everyone loves Raymond. Lol

I'm concerned. You need to have a conversation with him. Now!!