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Just Said Yes September 2014

Fiance' Disrespected My Parents... HELP!

Andrea, on May 27, 2013 at 1:29 AM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 26

My fiance' and I had a large fight a couple days ago and it has turned into a large mess that has not only include each other but now my parents. Short background info, we have been together since 2006 and recently got engaged in February. I will say that I have some underlying issues regarding our...

My fiance' and I had a large fight a couple days ago and it has turned into a large mess that has not only include each other but now my parents. Short background info, we have been together since 2006 and recently got engaged in February. I will say that I have some underlying issues regarding our relationship and also some demons that I fight myself. I love my fiance' and we have a blast together but I have always had a wandering mind if he is the best for me and that I want to spend the rest of my life with him.

Post the fight he was extremely hurt and we had a lot of things to work out. However he fermented with his feelings and became extremely spiteful. Long story short he wrote a long email to my father, basically trying to explain that I'm a mess and evoke a negative outlook on his daughter. My father is furious and I am extremely embarrassed. I feel he put the nail in the coffin with our relationship because this letter hurt my family. Where can I go from here?

26 Comments

  • Ab
    Master October 2011
    Ab ·
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    If this is the way he solves problems..trashing you to your own family, dropping your insurance, kicking you out, taking your ring..chances are he's going to utilize those same coping skills down the road when you are married..not okay..imo he'd need to show you some grand good faith gesture..if he refuses counseling, then there you go. Good luck.

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  • FinallyDoingIt
    Master July 2014
    FinallyDoingIt ·
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    There are going to be tough times ahead in marriage. If he handles things in this manner, I would run far away. That was so beyond unnecessary. I would never be able to relax in my relationship knowing that when times get tough, he's going to lose it like that. No way.

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  • Mrs V (Roe)
    Master August 2013
    Mrs V (Roe) ·
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    Just appears to me, argument, reaction and parent's feelings aside, neither one of you is ready to marry. He needs to work on his immaturity and you may need to work on the things that make you insecure in a relationship. I can say from experience, if you are second guessing the marriage, maybe it's not what you should be doing. I hope it all works out for your good whatever you decide.

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  • Melodie
    VIP August 2022
    Melodie ·
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    I would have to say I agree with all these ladies. This certainly isn't something to take lightly. I could understand if you guys were having problems and he went to your parents maybe for advice if he is close with them...To do what he did is not right at all.

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  • We'llAlwaysHaveParis
    Master November 2013
    We'llAlwaysHaveParis ·
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    Someone who is truly in love with you would NEVER do something like that.

    We're all flawed and have insecurities. THE ONE for you will accept all of that and love you for you.

    RUN!!

    and keep your head, heels, and standards high

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  • Andre'ya
    Master March 2014
    Andre'ya ·
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    I agree with all the other ladies...I too am close to my family and I seek their guidance in a lot of stuff...but there is a clear line between seeking guidance and lashing out...he had no right to contact your father...a real man will never embarrass the woman he loves...I say get up and leave...if you choose to work this out maybe you guys should start from scratch...but honestly I don't believe this is the right man for you...you'll find Mr. Right one day...

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