FH Refusing A First Dance With Me

Being silently hurt in a relationship should never ever be an option. Keep talking, explain why it's important, take dance lessons to give him more confidence.

Never just "silently" accept something you're not okay with. It's 3 minutes of his life. He can do this ONE thing for his new wife.

My FH also does not want to have a first dance at the reception because it will make him nervous and doesn't like to dance, but is willing to dance with me alone. We are planning on having our first dance, just the two of us, after the ceremony. I actually feel like it will be more special for us. To each their own. Just be honest with your FH and tell him that you were looking forward to it. Maybe he doesn't know how much it means to you?

Communication is key. Hating dancing is fine, being self conscious is fine, but this is your wedding. It's not a time to say no and you cannot let this go and stew silently. He needs to know and understand how you feel. Honestly if you're this hurt over his resistance then it will be something that could ruin the day for you and result in many arguments later on. Just talk to him before this explodes into a worse issue.

My now husband is not a dancer at all..we took a few dance lessons b4 the wedding, he still wasn't comfortable, but the day of he made it through and we invited everyone to dance with us after about 2 min.

My parents didn't have a first dance. Married 47 years and it didn't bother my Mom at all. She knew my Dad was uncomfortable doing it and his comfort is all that mattered to her.

I would be sad too. Practice a week or so before the wedding if you can?

Tell him that he can bare it for 30 seconds while you basically stand in one place and sway back and forth.

I hope you get your dance! Sorry no advice.

'Hating dancing is fine, being self conscious is fine, but this is your wedding. It's not a time to say no and you cannot let this go and stew silently. '

Er pretty sure it's his wedding too. OP can and probably should let this go (I wouldn't recommend stewing silently) if her FH is very uncomfortable doing this. I honestly don't think the first dance is such a big deal. Now if he were refusing to do the first kiss........

All you need to do is sway together for a minute and then the DJ can request other couples to join you two on the dance floor. Try bouncing this idea of FH, while gently letting him know how much this means to you.

Me and my FH can't dance either.but that 2 mins will go so fast....tell him he will be ok..

FH and I are practicing are middle school dance sway just for this occasion! That's all anyone expects of you during a first dance, it doesn't have to be "good dancing". Have a chat with FH and express your unhappiness. You are marrying him after all. It's kind of important to be able to talk about this stuff with your significant other.

I would let him know how it makes me feel that he is refusing to dance with me. He can just do a little 2-step.

He doesn't have to do anything. If he's truly uncomfortable with it, then he should not have to.

But communication is key. You have to actually talk to him.

My FH would be appalled if I suggested we didn't have a first dance. I am not a huge fan of dancing alone in front of everyone but FH is so good at leading that I am ten times better dancing with him. I think if it makes him THAT uncomfortable then skip it because it's his day too. If it's something that can be comprised then do a short and sweet one (your guest will thank you too!)

My FH was the same way. Now that we pushed our date back I told him he has plenty of time to learn. His issue is that he doesn't like everyone staring at him. He's a goofball and will be funny and let people stare but not when it's something like dancing or whatever. Myself and his brother in law are teaching him how to two step (that's what I prefer) and it's super easy. We just had to agree on a slower song than originally discussed lol. I would honestly see if your bridal party and their dates could dance as well or even both of your parents.

It's important to you to have a first dance. It's important to him to not be put on the spot like that. Both are valid. The fact that he chose the song with you indicates to me that he is just getting cold feet as the wedding gets closer (which is perfectly normal) and this is how it's coming out.

Definitely talk to him. Find out exactly why he doesn't want to dance. Validate his feelings, try to understand his thoughts, and go from there. This is a decision that you and him have to make together.

Then I ask, and I ask with love why are you having a dance if one half of the guests of honor won't dance? Sign him up for a lesson and/or tell him to sway back and forth. No one is asking him to break out with the Charleston.......best wishes!

I would ask him the underlying reasons as to why he doesn't want to dance (encourage him to be honest). The swaying thing is fine. One of my friends has MS, but still did a slow sway with his wife as a first dance. Explain why you want to do it and ask what would make him more comfortable (slower or shorter song perhaps). The only people watching are the people you care about enough to invite to your wedding, so it's not going to be a lot of strangers judging him.

Well I'm sure she's talked to him about it already. maybe after a drink or two he'll be a little more loose? Im not looking forward to all the attention on me either but you can rest assure I'm doing it. just sway side to side. get the song cut down shorter? just a few suggestions