fh involved in wedding planning or not?

Mine isn't involved. He showed up to tour the venue and food tasting and a tux. Other than that, nope he doesn't care. It's basically whatever wedding I want. Fine by me we are walking down the aisle to video game music 🤷🏾‍♀️ guess he should have had input. I'm making it as nerdy/geeky as possible. I can't wait.

My FH doesn’t want to be involved in wedding planning either, but it doesn’t drive me nuts. I’ve learnt just to accept it. I’m actually finding that I’m enjoying the wedding planning and I think it would make it more difficult if I had another perspective added in. In saying that, we have a pretty small wedding of 70 guests so I suppose it’s not so overwhelming planning it on my own.

I actually dont care much of how hes involved. I feel like at least one of us can be less stressful & he can help me feel better when I'm stressed
I enjoy organizing things & maybe that's why I dont really care how involved he is

😂 I’m in the same boat!!! Mine thinks we have all the time in the world to plan 🙄. I give mg FH options on what I like so he can choose as well and deadlines on what I need from him lol

Mine is really involved, but I'm the planner in the relationship, so I usually have to ask him to do things.

Just today I asked him how often he checked the wedding email. He blinked and I could see he was realizing he barely looked at it...

BUT, it's his friend who is the travel agent and helping us figure out the honeymoon registry/costs/booking, so FH is in charge of that. And he's involved in all the decisions.

We are split 50/50. We go to every meeting together. He found some vendors and I found others. I didn't want to have a big wedding and he did. But I'm also a bit of a perfectionist so if we are doing something we have to do it right. 😂 Surprisingly we like planning together. We have very different tastes so it's helping us work on compromising.

I totally understand where you are coming from but ever since i started planning and asking FH about how he feels, likes, dislikes and what he thinks we should do, he looked me in the eye and told me that he just wants to marry me and that he wants what i want and for me to be happy on our day... From that day forward i just show him and tell him what I've been thinking and he would say that's nice or just look at me weird and ill understand that it is not completely to his liking.

Maybe take a different approach?

My FH isn’t too involved. He was involved w/ the wedding day & date (we both really wanted a specific location, but their Saturday evenings were really expensive, so we compromised w/ a Saturday lunch). I like to keep him somewhat involved, so I usually narrow things down to 2x selections & then ask him to decide. The only thing that he didn’t get any say on was the flowers - I had a specific budget that I wanted to stay within & I know that he would just say whatever you think to the florist.

Haha, sounds like my fh! The only thing hes helped with is picking the venue. I keep him posted on everything just so he's in the loop but he always says he's fine with anything I choose and he just wants to show up. Super frustrating but I knew from the beginning I would be doing the majority of the planning.

Mine isn't either, unless it's something HE WANTS, then he acts like a bit of a demanding butthead

I've found this very same thing. But here's where I'm noticing the excitement from him: give him hands-on projects. I'm not sure what kind of wedding you are having, but ours is all outdoors in the middle of a field. We are basically building a village in a pasture. I have lots of ideas, since I'm doing my own centerpieces and decor, and he's been building things and making things with me. Although we've disagreed on visions, I love that he has opinions on things and how they are going to look.

But as for collecting addresses or picking out table runners, forget about it.

My fh didn’t know what was involved at all so my sister n I made a list of everything involved and then my fh and I went through it and he told me what he did and didn’t care about so he’ll help with food and surprisingly the colors/theme 🤷🏻‍♀️

Mine was not involved in decision making as much as I tried. I would tell him the different things I liked and he would tell me to pick, because he literally didn’t care. He said all he cared about was good food (which i picked), having alcohol, and leaving with his wife (me!). He said other than that it’s my day so I can do what ever i wanted.
He still came to venue tours, meeting the photographer, and the food tasting. He picked his tux and his ring.
But flowers, centerpieces, groomsmen attire, readings, songs, decor, programs, invitations, STD, picking the menu, signature drinks, cake flavors, and everything else was all me.
He surprised me with finalizing all the rehersal dinner stuff. He even got it switched from just a reservation in the restaurant to the private room, which was nice. The last 2-3 days he also jumped into helping mode when he saw how absolutely stressed I was. The Thursday before he was wonderful and made me sit and eat while he worked on flowers. Hopefully yours will help out when it’s crunch time. Or find out what he cares about and have him help with that.

My FH has been very involved in every aspect since day 1. I am grateful he is as excited about the wedding and planning as I am. He has thankfully left all the DIY to me though. We decide in the designs, colors etc and I put everything together. The thought of him with a glue gun is terrifying lol

My fiancee isnt involved either
(Except for his wallet) I'm ok with that. I'm enjoying the process of planning everything myself

My FH was kind of like that too at first but then when I started talking about things he started bringing up new ideas and has actually been pretty involved in the planning. Maybe just talk to him about it or go over decisions with him and see what he thinks.

View Quoted Comment This is 100% my FH and I! I’ll let him know what cake/decor/venue I’m lookin at and that’s when he gives a little input. I can’t just say “what should we do for “xyz”😂

FH and I just had a long convo today about this. He WANTS to be involved and feels like he isn’t. But everything I ask him about he said he didn’t care. Sooooo. I’m stuck. But thank y’all for all your input here. Definitely helped me have some ideas.

I feel the exact same way so when we started planning I told him he had to be involved. I also told him it is a special day for both of us, not just me. He put up a little bit of a fight at first, but he’s started enjoying the planning. I just narrow down vendor options so he doesn’t get overwhelmed by all of the choices and I try to make everything as much fun as possible.

WOW!! I had no idea there were other people feeling this like me!!