fh friends are big drinkers. How to stop them from ruining my day?

I mean you could also limit your bar overall, for instance just give everyone drink tickets so they would only be able to have so much to drink anyway?

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Yes, that is an idea. This is going to sound silly, but how do you do that without making them upset? I do not honestly care if it upsets them, but I could see them all either leaving early because they are mad, or bringing their own to the ceremony/reception and leaving it in their cars or something. It's crazy and sad how much I feel like they cannot survive without alcohol.

A licensed bartender will cut someone off when they need to be cut off. I think you could warn your bartenders about these individuals but I wouldn’t set a specific drink limit.

View Quoted Comment This was exactly what I think when I read your post. Make cute tickets for free beer 😊

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Many weddings actually do have security services. so if you feel that is more assuring to you to keep things in check, then that could be an option

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Okay, yes that would probably be better and cause a little less stress, or fear of them getting so angry they bring it themselves or just leaving. The best case would be they grow up and realize I am not a drinker, and do not appreciate drunks, and would be civil enough not to ruin my day.

I have the same issue, but with my hubby's entire family. im pretty bold so im going to tell each of them beforehand that they can have a drink or two, but that i will carry them out myself if anything gets out of hand. they get sloppy and i come from a family who doesnt drink much as it has caused such tragedy in our family. i decided, as a result, to go with a cash bar. i pay for the bartenders and whoever wants to drink has to pay for their own drinks. i think giving the bartenders their names and limiting them is an excellent idea, as is having an off-duty police officer on sight. these might really come in handy. talking to them beforehand to disclose your expectations of them is extremely important because some people will abuse that power of free drinks if given the chance. try not to stress or let it ruin your day. if they get bad, kick them out (chances are they might leave early if their drinks are limited anyways - hence why it is so important to talk to them beforehand). maybe also consider what the lady above said about the tickets. limiting the bar can be effective and will cut costs on your part. everything will work itself out. good luck love 😊💕

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I have heard that some venues require an officer of some kind to be there if alcohol is being served. We have not fully set a venue yet, so I do not know if any of our options would require it, but that would for sure be helpful, so I can still enjoy much of my day/evening as possible without having to watch them.

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This has been the best! His friends pretty much know how I feel about drinking and especially getting completely trashed. I understand we are all still in our younger 20's but at some point they need to realize we are growing up, getting married, having children and this drinking is not everything. His friends (in my opinion) trashed one of their friend's weddings previously by drinking too much. Spilling drinks all over the floor, and the dresses we were wearing. Even one friend after being cut off starting taking cups off tables and drinking them. I believe limiting the drinks, giving bartender names, and even having someone to kick them out would be wonderful. I honestly have no issue telling them to leave myself either, but it is just something as the bride (we) should not have to handle.

Serve beer and wine only (no hard liquor)
Close the bar during the ceremony
Use a licensed bartenderClose the bar 30 min before the event ending
Hope that helps. I think drink tickets would be frowned upon by many guests. It's too carnival ish

I’d talk to them ahead of time... Most people would much rather have someone let them know to keep it calm ahead of time rather than having security get involved after the matter. They’re probably assuming it’s party time.

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My plan is only beer and wine, no hard liquor, or Smirnoff ice since I guess his friend's ice everyone at their weddings. But there will be (based on my plan) no bar at all until the reception.

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Yes, I would assume they will totally believe that and I will put a big halt on that. Weddings are supposed to be classy, not trashy. They want a party to get trashed as they are welcome to leave and go do that at "real" bars or anywhere not near my wedding.

View Quoted Comment No doubt girl. im right there with you. it is totally okay for you to have your preferences. after all, it is your wedding! my husband and i are also young, but i feel as if we are in a different stage of life than my husband's highschool friends. they are caught up getting into trouble, partying, and being with different girls every night. theres a huge difference in the mindset between them and us, so we just simply dont hang out with them. they are still probably "acquaintances" of my husband, but the relationship is no longer where it was at some point previously. growing up, getting married, having babies, and making a life for yourself is a concept that some immature mindsets are unable to grasp, so i dont associate with people who dont understand as i was never a part of that crowd and always knew i wanted to start life early with my highschool sweetheart. i, nor should you, accept that type of destructive behavior. my venue would keep my damage deposit if one of my guests were to trash the facility and i definitely want my deposit back lol! thats a little too rowdy in my opinion. sounds like youve got a great plan. try not to stress and just enjoy your day. dont concern yourself with things you cannot change and if you have any issues, explore all of your options before worrying yourself with bull crap.

Bartenders do this regularly as part of their job. They can tell by how a person behaves that they are near or over their limit and will automatically cut that person off. Let them do their jobs and try to enjoy your day. If the friends get upset, that's not your fault. Another option is not invite the known troublemakers.

Many venues require that you hire security anyway and taking care of the ruckus is part of what they do.

The bartender will cut them off if they get too drunk!

LOL, I know what you mean! I have full open bar but I definitely have friends that will overdo it. Especially some of our guy friends! Thankfully the ones that are heavy drinkers are also the people that I can be the most open and blunt too. I plan on telling them straight out! If I were you I would just tell them listen my whole families going to be there blah blah blahAnd just tell them to not mess it up and if they do just kick them out LOL

What is your venue like? My venue specifically states it retains the right to stop serving when the bartenders think someone has had too much and they retain the right to remove someone from the property if they see the need. This will probably keep your guests in line, all things considered. How long is the reception, also? It's harder to get trashed in a shorter amount of time, especially if you're serving a full meal.

Definitely take advantage of the licensed bartender and the security person... enjoy your day! Also, since those are your FH's friends, he should be the one to control his friends, not you. Likely if he talks to them ahead, they will police themselves, but know that you'll others that are being paid to do so.

My venue requires an officer on site if alcohol will be served and mandates a licensed bartender be provided as part of your catering contract (all of which we agreed to).


I would forewarn the bartender so they can keep an eye on it and try not to worry. I would hope, at this type of event, they would be able to behave like responsible adults for the sake of their friend...