fh friends are big drinkers. How to stop them from ruining my day?

I agree about counting on your bartenders to manage excessive consumption -- their licensing requires them to do so. I also agree about letting your FH handle talking with his friends and setting expectations, it sounds like they might be much more likely to listen to him than to you. We had some concerns leading up to daughter and SIL's wedding. The only wedding before theirs in the friend group had a cash bar and a bunch of them brought flasks.... Daughter & SIL's wedding had a full open bar, but daughter asked him to make sure his friends knew that they were absolutely NOT to bring in any alcohol (that could have gotten the entire wedding shut down). They did as he asked. They definitely enjoyed the open bar, but overall handled it well. Everyone had a good time and the bartenders and venue staff kept an eye on things so there weren't any issues.

Im pretty sure a experienced bartender with a heads up might be able to curve it, but just incase here are some ideas- dont give a heads up that you are doing this. Could you limit drink time to cocktail hour and dinner then cash or dry bar options? Drink tickets are a ok idea but they could bum them off of ppl, stamps on the hand are better. Maybe have a slushie machine, regional drink, Italian soda bar, or ect, this helps make non alcoholic beverages exciting. You could try to have a passed drink intervals also( or fancy jello shots, cuz hey Martha Stewart) to have the party keep going and have control of what( no jager shots blah) and how much.

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I am not planning on there being a cocktail hour. Once the ceremony is over it is inside to the reception. And getting started with entrances and dinner. I am really leaning towards only a few kinds of beer and some wine. I do not want other alcohol, because they have "iced" the couple at one of the other couple's weddings before. Which "icing" is a Smirnoff Ice that they give you and you have to get down on one knee and chug. I am wanting classy not trashy

I think you are over worrying. If the wedding is at a hall with a liquor license they will cut the guys off. I did catering for 13 years at a Hall and I know they are responsible for over serving and could lose their license for such.

A licensed bartender will cut someone off when they feel they have had enough. If your venue is providing your bartenders, they will make sure this happens.