Feeling Hurt

@Staci is it really an event her husband is dying to go to? .... probably not. This isn't even about her sisters husband. You guys make it seem like their marriage is at risk because they separate for one night.

Putting myself into the husband's shoes, if I were invited to a good friend's wedding that was the same day as my spouse's brother's bachelor party, I'd probably push him to do both or go to the bachelor party. All couples are different though, and some like to do everything together. The other thing to consider is how many people her husband would know at the wedding. If he doesn't really have anyone else there to hang out with, then I can understand why your sister would choose to the wedding. Whatever her reasons, I don't think you should hold it against her. I understand being upset, but I think the most you can do it let it go.

Neither of my sister in laws were able to make it to my bach party. And I consider both like sisters to me since I don't have any sisters. I was sad but I understood. I had a BLAST with just me and my two other friends (MOH and BM). Honestly, the ones not attending will miss out, not you.

My friends still say BEST BACHELORETTE PARTY EVER! And we have so many great jokes and memories... I mean how many people get drunk and getting matching tattoos at the bach party?! It was a great time with who was there and I understood why those who were not there couldn't make it. Its the experience you make. If you are going to be sad and pouty the whole night, that's all you will remember.

I honestly think some of the major riffs that are being presented in this thread (and maybe in the situation with my sister) might have to do with differences in our own relationships with Hubbies and FH. Different strokes for different folks. Nobody is necessarily right or wrong. What works for you works for you. Based on our lives that lead up to meeting each other FH and I have a relationship that is somewhat left of traditional. He understands that my sisters are important to me and would never have the expectation that I would dismiss something important to one of them for one of his friends weddings. Remember perception is reality. Currently (and maybe because its fresh) I perceive the party as important. It would not be about choosing him over my sister because he would never expect or request that of me. Yes, both of us have gone to major events (weddings included) without the other. We agree that our lives outside each other are important to fostering our lives together. That's what works for us. I think this might also be where MrsMagallan2016 and her FH are at. So my view of the whole situation is also based on what I would do. What expectation (or lack there of) my FH would have. That's what we all do. We view situations through our own eyes first.

As I think on it more my sister and her hubby have a more traditional relationship. So maybe my approach doesn't work in their situation. As a sister I can still be hurt. In the end its her decision. I'm not going to hold it against her but I can still have feelings on it.

And I do still plan on having an awesome time! lol

@Danielle, I think you are handling this very maturely. You are absolutely allowed to be hurt while still recognizing the fact that she has the right to prioritize the wedding.

P.S. I am in the same boat as you and would encourage FH to attend his brother's bachelor party while I attend my friend's wedding alone (and he would do the same for me). But, that's not for everyone.

Danielle, your last paragraph is exactly what I was going to post after reading your first paragraph. I would be disappointed too, but I wouldn't be angry at her or hold it against her.

We are all made up differently and the person you are is not the person your sister is, and often times we find ourselves measuring our family and friends by our own capabilities and actions. What you did for your sister or how you would handle the situation at hand is the type of person you are, not your sister. It doesn’t make either one of you better or worse than the other, it simply is.