Feeling alone in getting things together

View Quoted Comment I’ve decided that my fiancé and I will handle it all. I hate feeling as though I’m burdening anyone. I’ll be fine. Just can’t wait for it all to be over. Can’t wait to married!!!

View Quoted Comment Thank you for that. I actually took a break this weekend from everything. I feel somewhat refreshed.

View Quoted Comment I too am doing some DYI things. I appreciate your words. Thank you.

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This is really great advice.

I think everybody gets overwhelmed with weddings, so if you then ask an open question to someone, they have no idea what to say to you. You need to be as specific as you can, and I have definitely noticed this with my FH. I have an added problem with him though, as he's a people pleaser so he won't likely come right out to me and say he doesn't like something if I have stated that I like it.

For his engagement ring I shortlisted a few that I thought were the best, and sent them to him to select which ones he liked most. He chose 5 of the 8 I had found, which was so reassuring. I'd spent hours intensively searching and was ready to curl up and cry over it before I finally asked his opinion!

I'm sorry you're going through this, girl. It's pretty common though! My maids haven't been all there either - they haven't even looked at dresses even though I sent them links to good ones online that fit every budget (starting at $50 plus free shipping). I've planned everything myself, with just a little input from FH. My wedding is in Feb and one bridesmaid who lives the furthest, still hasn't even purchased her plane tickets, in the hopes that the prices will go down (not likely since it's during Valentine's Day weekend).

I learned something very important though - it's actually better to do it myself! I get to make decisions and when people ask why I decided on blank and blank, I tell them, "Because I'm paying for it and because it's what I want." When FH finally started making decisions about things, I realized what different tastes we had and so I eventually sort of stopped asking him for opinions, too. (Our color scheme is black and pink with rose gold and burgundy accents. He chose a gray suit for himself and jeans and gray button-down shirts for his guys... so... yeah.)

My maids are busy and have kids and crazy lives so I just let them do their thing and hopefully they'll show up for the rehearsal and the day of the wedding and be ready to knock it out of the park. There's literally nothing more I can do about it. It's frustrating but the less I think about it the better. They're grownups. They should be able to handle this. And I'm a grownup too, and I'm just taking it one day at a time. I'm over planning for sure. I want it to be done and I want to be in Mexico, hanging out at the beach, sipping margaritas. Just 10 more weeks to go!

That's very odd. You're fiancè should be helping you. It's a way to work as a team.
Although I'm the one to be more excited about planning, my man helps me with decisions and such. I'm also finishing up my second to last semester of school so it's not 100% on my mind right now.
In my opinion I would talk to him. Don't let anyone cloud your decisions.

I think it’s common to feel overwhelmed and a little upset when people aren’t asking you about details or offering to help. I’ve felt like that at times during planning, but as much as this is important to you and the hilight of your year, people are happy for you....it’s just not AS important to them. And they might not find dj, catering and flowers that “fun” but as things get closer and you’re going on your bachelorette party, shower, wedding day it will be more fun and exciting for everyone. I was a little sad that I was making decision after decision without any care or concern from bridesmaids/family, but honestly.....most of the time I get stressed out when people offer suggestions that are opposite of my “vision” so it’s almost better that I do it on my own, because I know I’m doing what I like/want and I’m pretty confident that they will like my choices. Keep on going girl. It may be a good time to take a break from planning. I’ve taken several throughout my planning for a week or two at a time, because it can get overwhelming at times.

Hello you are not alone I feel the same way everybody think they have time to do the things but they don't it's very stressful I'm to the point where I don't want any bridesmaids lol and no you are not being selfish they knew there roles when they accepted I have already removed 2 bridesmaids

View Quoted Comment Exactly what I was thinking. Not so much my fiancé. He’s there in every way. I just thought the bridesmaids would be more involved.

Good morning Anita;

I feel the exact same way. I have done most of the planning, crafts, shopping and decisions by myself. At least things will be the way you want them. I also used this site as a sounding board to help guide me with decisions. I'm glad this website is available.

View Quoted Comment Great advice. ❤

I think the best way to combat this is to reach out to your bridesmaids and not wait for someone to come to you asking if you need help!

You are so right that everyone is busy and has lots going on so maybe that means enlisting just a couple bridesmaids, mom, sister, etc. to help with a specific project. Have everyone over and DIY your hearts out! Bring wine and snacks and let everyone relax and have a girls night out of it!

When I was planning my dad was my go-to person, and we communicated a lot about the wedding (mostly through email so we had a trail to read back if needed lol) and he was the one person who could be excited about any detail. I also really relied on my husband to give the final details before any big decisions were made and he was actually really involved once I framed things in a way that was more interesting for him to understand (don't throw a whole linen catalogue at him, but once you have it narrowed down to some favorites, get his input!)

I FEEL YOU ON THAT.

I honestly thought I was the only one. We actually moved our date back for a few reasons, but one of which was how alone I was feeling in planning. I'm not a very outgoing planning type person anyway, so even though it was more than likely my place to reach out and ask for help, I wanted people to offer. I just always assumed people would be really excited for us and want to be included and it was weird to find myself doing it alone. My fiancee does help a lot, but sometimes you just need women to gush over it with.

View Quoted Comment This is exactly how I feel!!!

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At least we aren't technically alone because we have each other in feeling the same way!

View Quoted Comment Yes, we do!!!

I had the same experience, kind of. I had a few friends who would ask if we needed help, but I couldn't think of anything they could actually do. Everyone in my bridal party lived on the other side of the country and at least one of them was excited and would have done anything I asked. Of course, my FH was doing a ton, but it was the bonding with friends over a rite of passage that I was missing. Ultimately, I realized that the reason non of my newer friends were offering to help, is that I had not taken the time or emotional energy to create those kinds of relationships. They all assumed I had it under control and were not really close enough to me or maybe girly enough to offer to go shopping with me. I'm not at all saying it's your fault, but perhaps they just don't know what you need.

Update here. Still lacking support. Just learned that my little brother is getting married. He is joining the military and they decided they would run down to the courthouse to get hitched. My mom said no, lets celebrate. She is tossing a small intimate wedding together for them that will take place at the end of this month. I'm happy for him. I love my brother. I am jealous though. I have to admit that I wish our prents would show me the same enthusiasm. They called me and told me all about him with such excitement, but haven't even asked me how my planning is going. They all live in Florida, my brother, sister, living grandparents, and mom. Dad lives 3 minutes away from me in Michigan here. My folks are truck drivers and travel with work a lot.

View Quoted Comment I would feel the same if I was in your situation. I’m sorry you’re not getting more support from your parents. My parents have been supportive. My siblings have been as well. Now that the date is getting closer my bridesmaids are finally starting to be a little more talkative and more willing to participate. His mother, however, has not been very involved at all. I expected it to be this way as she didn’t seem too happy when we announced our engagement. It is what it is, I guess. Hopefully your parents come around and begin to show more support. It’s sad that some just don’t understand how much it means to us to have them more involved in the whole thing.

I've been a MOH and bridesmaid several times and I've never done any wedding planning. I've gone along to bridal dress shopping and that's pretty much it. It genuinely would not occur to me to ask someone to help plan their wedding because I would assume that they would want to do that with their FS. My bridesmaids all came dress shopping (or were facetimed in) for my wedding dress and one asked to come to our cake testing, which we were happy to oblige. But ultimately, it's something you should do with your fiance.