Feeling a little bummed about the bachlorette party...

Hmmm... I don't think you should be planning your bachelorette. That said- it sucks your ladies are backing out. How much notice did you give? I would need like 6-8 months to prepare for that.

I gave about 5-6 months. I wasn't originally planning it, my maid of honor was, but then she just kind of started forgetting about it and I was stuck doing most of the planning.

Anne, you're not suppose to plan your bachelorette party. If your MOH stopped planning, then it should have been handled by someone other than you.

Yes, but no one is planning it. I'm stuck. I mean, I would like to have a bachlorette party. I would love to go to New Orleans, especially during Mardi Gras. I've always wanted to go, but there's no one doing it...

I understand that. but unfortunately, you still cannot plan it. Someone else should plan it.

Well, then I guess I won't even have one... which is why I'm so bummed in the first place :/

Tell your bridesmaids they suck. I mean not really. Why are they all backing out? Like do they have actual reasons? That's not fun at all. You shouldn't be planning it, but even if you do, they should come

Okay.................... saying she "CANNOT" plan it is a little much. You can totally plan your own Bach party.... I'm a BM in my friends and she's planned out hers because she wanted to do a partially joint one with her fiancé. It's not WRONG at all to plan your own. You CAN plan your own bach. But your friends need to get it together and step up.

Thanks Aliya. Most are saying because they are traveling elsewhere or can't get time off work, which may or may not be true. I don't know. It's from Thursday till Sunday.

Traveling elsewhere when you told them the dates months in advance? -_- If my friends/BMs backed out on me, I'd take my man and go do something fantastic instead. And tell them they suck. That's just me. Is there anyway you can do something closer to home? I know New Orleans is the sh!t I've always wanted to go. But maybe maybe maybe you could find some cool town nearer to you that you haven't visited! And then maybe that'll make it easier for everyone to attend? Throw it out there, if they still say no ... they suck. More than I previously imagined.

Go have fun with whoever can come and forget the rest.

Going to an out of state weekend bachelorette party is a significant investment of money (above and beyond the wedding expenses) that they may not want to drive there, spend four days there, etc, etc, etc.

And right, you don't plan this yourself. Sorry......

Sorry Aliya, it is inappropriate for a bride to plan her own bachelorette party. Even if she wants it to coincide with her fiancé's bachelor party.

No one is entitled to a bachelorette party or shower. If someone plans one for you, great. However, if one is planned and requires the guests to travel out of state, and guests choose not to go, that does not mean you can call them and tell them they suck.

It's not proper, sure. But if no one else is able to plan it, a bride is definitely ALLOWED to plan it herself. I didn't say it was proper to do so, I said it's not that she physically is not allowed to plan her own bachelorette party. She is allowed to do whatever she wants. I also didn't tell her to tell them they suck. She said they originally said yes they'd go, and now backed out towards the last minute. I agree that if a bride does take on the planning (which no, is not usual, or proper, or as fun, but it's DOABLE) that she needs to have approval/yes's from all the attendees that they will come/plan it all together.

I think saying that she CAN'T plan one for herself is a little overboard. Because, in actuality, she can do whatever she wants. There's no rules for a wedding. There's expectations. And there's "normal" and there's tradition. But she CAN, in fact, do whatever she wants.

ETA: Never said anyone was entitled to a party or shower. And no one HAS to go to them either. So no, no one is ENTITLED to a party and no one is REQUIRED to attend. Yet, anyone can HAVE or PLAN a party for themselves. But it's inappropriate, with any type of party/planned get together, to say "Yes, I plan on attending" and then last minute say "No, just kidding, I made other plans." Talk about inappropriate.

Aliya, in your opinion, she can. In mine, she cannot. It is in poor taste. So you and I will leave it at that.

Also, a bachelorette party in New Orleans sounds fun. That is until you look at how much money you're going to spend. Especially during Mardi Gras. the cost for hotel, food and drinks go through the roof

Your bridesmaids should be planning your bachelorette, not you. Even though these plans fell through, you still have PLENTY of time until May to plan something! Stick to something closer to home and on a smaller scale. Most likely your friends were afraid to tell you they couldn't afford a weekend away, which sucks, but they should have told you. Have a meeting with your bridesmaids-even if you can't get together in person, skype or group message. Be honest and tell them how disappointed you were that your plans fell through. Pick a night, together, that will work for everyone's schedule, to have a bachelorette night out that's closer to home so it will be more affordable for everyone.

OK- this annoys me a bit on these forums when we are telling each other "you can't" do this or that- we are grown ass adults, and most certainly can plan our own anything. I think the correct word is "shouldn't." In my opinion you shouldn't be planning a bachelorette party- it should be up to your bridal party as they are supposed to be your nearest and dearest friends, they should want to do this for you. Have a talk with your MOH and see if you can't do dinner and dancing one night- an OOT party might be a stretch for your BP but dinner and dancing is always fun! Good luck.

I don't mind planning it at all. Whether or not it's breaking tradition doesn't really bother me. Someone did start it, but I haven't heard from her. She still might go, but there's nothing set in stone. She goes to New Orleans every year around Mardi Gras, so of all people, I expect her to at least go. My MOH put the idea in my head to go there, and I've been stuck to it ever since.

I wouldn't be as bummed out if I didn't see, like I said, how my fiance's friends treat him through the whole bachelor party. He'll come back next week talking about how great it was and I'll admit that I will be jealous of it. And for me, I'm starting to see it's really not just the bachlorette party because my BMs aren't very involved compared to my fiance's groomsmen. I still don't know who's planning my shower, if at all. And that I will definitely not plan myself because what's the point of paying for something and then receiving gifts for it? I know I'm not entitled to these things, no one is entitled to anything really, but it shows my BM's of how much regard they really have for me, which really sucks.

I'm sorry this happened to you Anne. I had a similar situation happen for my bachelorette. We were supposed to go to Charleston. My MOH was planning and the other two bridesmaids didn't ever respond back to her. I understand money is tight but at least they could've said they can't so there could be a plan B. My husband went to Charleston and all of 6 of his guys flew in and drove from TN, MD, FL and NC. So yes I totally understand your frustration. We ended up going to Myrtle Beach, my MOH, mom, and one bridesmaid it was just an overnight thing and to be honest I wish it didn't even happen because some drama went down. Bottom line is you're not the only one with unreliable friends and while it sucks now you really don't need a party and may just be better off without one. Again so sorry this happened to you.

Thanks, MrsE. I may just plan something local and go to New Orleans with my future husband some day. He'll be my tour guide since he will be there soon lol

I can understand being disappointed about the plans falling through, however Thursday through Sunday for a bachelorette is unreasonable expectations in my opinion. You don't need a mini vacation for your bachelorette, a simple night out or girls night dinner will do.