Favorite Part of a Wedding & Cringe Worthy Parts (As a Guest & a Bride)

I am not married yet so I can only speak as the guest.

One wedding I went to had a firework show over the lake and it was beautiful!

I cringed when they didn't have any food after dinner which didn't work for me since I was drinking and needed a snack. It was also outdoors and even though the weather was great I wasn't a fan. That's just me being picky.

My favorite thing that I've seen at anyone's wedding was at a DJ's wedding where I was the officiant. He set up a remote little DJ station at the valet parking stop in front of the venue. When people got out of their car, they were treated to music and a glass of champagne before they even got into the building. Instant party! I keep telling him he needs to offer this to his clients because it was completely fabulous!

Celia, that is such an awesome idea!!!

I went to a wedding where the DJ played The Fox (What Does the Fox Say?) and he was like... jamming to it. The dance floor completely cleared. Everyone was like, WTF?

Yea, that song is banned at my wedding.

Now, I went to a really ritzy wedding last year and they had a friggin fire pit outside with a s'mores station. They also had an area where you could release Japanese lanterns - it was amazing. Also, during cocktail hour they had little grilled cheese appetizers with a shot glass full of tomato soup. Bomb as hell. They both came from incredibly wealthy families, so my FH and I opted out of all the fancy stuff they had (like lanterns and what-have-you).

I am also not married yet, so I can only speak as a guest/bridesmaid:

Cringeworthy:

- No servers for a buffet. The guests started eating before the BP came in, so by the time I got to eat, there was no food left.

- No chairs at the ceremony, so guests had to stand

- Not a fan of no background music at cocktail hour (makes the hour go by really slowly)

- Big gaps between ceremony and reception

- Sitting at a head table as a BM while my FI sits somewhere else. I'd much rather sit with my FH than be expected to sit with the bride and follow her around all night after formalities

- No thank you cards or circling around thanking guests for at least coming to the wedding.

Favorite Parts / Noteworthy:

- Love watching the groom's face when he sees his bride for the first time

- Food, drinks, and a GREAT band or DJ really can make the night

- Really thoughtful and funny BM or MOH speeches

ETA: We went to a wedding that was outdoors but tented. The ceremony was in mid-August and was probably 85+ degrees and we were so hot. Also, the mosquitoes were horrific and they had port-o-potty rentals for guests (PLEASE DON'T DO THIS!)

People still talk about my food, omg. It really gets brought up every time we see someone.

Nothing cringe worthy happened at my wedding, that I know of. (Ooo I did fall but that was just drunk me missing the chair!)

At others... Went to a wedding on a golf course and they gave the bridal party free golf the morning of. DH loved that one.

Cringe worthy was the dry, self catered wedding where the bride threw a fit because everyone left after dinner. She hired a DJ for 4 hours but no one wanted to dance because there was no booze. The bridal party danced for like an hour, then we were forced to help clean up. It was really a mess of a wedding. I love my friend, but even she admits she mad a lot of mistakes.

As a guest, my cousin who owns a firework/pyrotechnic compan, had a huge firework display after the reception on the water and it was amazing.

I honestly can't say I've had a cringe-worthy experience. I've never been to a dry wedding. Maybe it was when my FH friend got married last and rented the space and brought everything in. Everything was wonderful, until the bar ran out of ice and cups. That was a bit odd to me.

I wish the people who advocate for self catering, dry weddings, outside weddings in the heat and cold, and big gaps "because that's how we do it" would read this thread. But they won't. Or they'll think that THEIR wedding will be different.

@Celia Milton wow! That champagne idea is amazing! Great way to start a wedding for guests by making a bang of a first impression I would be very impressed.

Also I was one of those people that advocated for self catering..yea I'm really embarrassed about it now that I have read more/learned more. I am very new to the whole wedding planning and had no idea what others thought because one of my friends is planning hers now and wanted it self catered. DEFINITELY telling her not to and I showed her these threads! There are so many affordable options to feed your guests food with good catering.

@ Alaina the dance idea is really unique! I would be shocked if I went to a wedding that the couple were to dance like that. Best of wishes!

This is definitely an UO, but I went to a dry wedding and after dinner most of the grooms family walked out and I thought it made them look so bad and all anyone talked about for weeks was how terrible and tacky they were for leaving like that. I was living in Appalachia so dry weddings were the norm and everyone knew this was going to be the case.

I can only reply as a guest, but the thing I look forward to the most is the vows, witnessing the love that the couple has for one another, honestly just makes me feel so involved with the day, and I feel more connected to them,

The most cringeworthy part to me is usually the speeches. At FH's cousin's (SS) wedding a year and a half ago, they had both sets of parents, the MOH from FH's cousin and her DW's MOH and another bridesmaid did a dual speech. The dual speech went on forever, they spoke about inside jokes ever other line and it was awkward as all else. FH and I were at the table next to the sweetheart table and I could see that she was forcefully smiling just to get through it. I started taking mental bets of how many drinks they had previous to the speech. I feel like you should stick to a guide with saying anything at a wedding - Introduction to who you are, congratulate the couple, nice things about B&G or B&B or G&G, a single funny anecdote and sharing your happiness for them, congratulations again, happy life to you!

At my wedding people have raved about the view and venue, the ceremony and the food. I don't think anything cringeworthy happened.

We're going to a wedding this week that has a large gap, no Dj ( they are having DH who is BM be in charge of the music), they just realized they need music during food times. So I might need to update this list after the wedding.

@Kate - wow all of that is awful! I couldn't top that if I tried, I've been lucky to have been to well hosted weddings,. The only one I ever went to that hit on anything was a potluck where I had to bake apple pies, but I was too young to know that was a bad thing. But to anyone who is looking to do this, I did get sick from something I ate that night, that's all I remember about this couples wedding day now.

I haven't been to many weddings but a highlight was when the reception was at this fancy estate with gardens to walk around in during cocktail hour.

A very different wedding played ONE CD for the entire cocktail hour AND reception. The only time there was anyone dance floor was during the dollar dance. For anyone planning, please have a DJ or at the very least, don't play the same 12 songs five times!

Cringe worthy- I wedding I went to recently the BM's speech was so condescending to the bride and her family. I don't know how she sat through it.

Also went to a wedding the couple insisted on having the wedding in their "barn", its a garage that the outside looks like a barn. It was too small to fit enough table, even with both upstairs and downstairs being used. FH and I sat outside with the groom's parents who also didn't have seats.

Favorite- Seeing a groom's face when his bride walks down the aisle.

Good food and booze. I went to my first wedding this year with an open bar.

Cringe worthy: Buffet of any kind, long line at the bar.

Favorite part: The ceremony. [Although for us, our Let it Go singalong was amazing.]

Favorite part of a wedding is the moment the bride and groom see each other when she starts walking down the aisle. I get all up in the feels.

Worst part is the bouquet toss. I always hated being shoved into the group of single women to catch that thing so I always stood at the back and let everyone else lunge for it.

The last wedding I went to had no music (ceremony or reception), pot luck reception, no alcohol, no dessert. I love my friend lots but all I could think about the whole time was the threads here and how everyone would be sitting with that deer in headlights look. Personally, I don't see anything wrong with dry weddings if your not wanting to have dancing and party at the reception. But when you want everyone dancing and having fun for hours, give them a little liquid courage

After my friend's wedding though, I knew 2 things for sure. I will have music and plenty of food and drink for my guests.

My favorite part was just being surrounded by everyone I love. I had friends there that hadn't seen other friends in years. It was like a giant reunion and everyone had a blast. All the other stuff didn't matter that much. Food was good, bar was open, everyone danced but mostly everyone just hung out and enjoyed catching up.

@Kate - All the respect in the world to you for going through with it!