Kelly
Legend October 2022

Faux Pas or Nah: Asking about the guest list?

Kelly, on February 26, 2019 at 11:05 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 57
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Whether your friends and family are asking if they are invited or if “so and so” is invited, what are your thoughts on people asking about the guest list? Do you think it’s a faux pas or people just being curious?


Faux Pas or Nah: Asking about the guest list? 1

Photo by Alicia Lucia Photography in NM


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57 Comments

  • Alexandra
    VIP June 2019
    Alexandra ·
    • Flag

    Totally a faux pas, at least in my opinion! The guest list is a personal decision of the bride and groom!

    • Reply
  • Danielle K
    VIP June 2019
    Danielle K ·
    • Flag

    Faux Pas FOR SURE


    • Reply
  • Mrs. H
    Master September 2019
    Mrs. H ·
    • Flag

    There are two sides to this IMO… if you know you're invited, there's no harm in asking if so and so is invited. However, if you ask if you're invited or who's invited, not knowing whether or not you are, that's a faux pas.

    • Reply
  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
    • Flag

    So presumptuous and rude.

    Faux Pas for sure

    • Reply
  • JustKidding
    VIP April 2018
    JustKidding ·
    • Flag

    I can go either way. They can ask, but they have no right to tell me who to invite.

    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
    • Flag

    I think it is just people being curious, IMO.

    • Reply
  • Veronica
    Savvy May 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag
    Faux Pass! I've been ask and my answer is...I'm still working in it. Nosy people Smiley winking
    • Reply
  • Formerbride
    VIP June 2019
    Formerbride ·
    • Flag

    Faux pas. It can be very uncomfortable if the answer isn't what was expected.

    • Reply
  • Cara
    Expert July 2019
    Cara ·
    • Flag
    Is it super polite to ask? No. But I’m going to assume people’s best intent and think that some people are just being curious and don’t mean to be rude.
    • Reply
  • Rachel
    Super May 2019
    Rachel ·
    • Flag

    It's definitely in poor taste, it's no one's business...unless they're offering to pay for it too.

    • Reply
  • Alicia
    VIP August 2019
    Alicia ·
    • Flag

    I think it depends on the situation. I had the unfortunate need to explain to a new acquaintance that she was not invited because we had our guest list set before she and I even hung out (we've only hung out two times and she just assumed that she was invited.) She hasn't talked to me since. (insert eye roll here.) But if it's like close family or friends that are genuinely just curious about your guest list size, I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

    • Reply
  • Nikita
    VIP April 2019
    Nikita ·
    • Flag

    Sometimes it's just asking for clarification around plus 1, kids, etc.. However, it is outside their own family unit, yes, I find it rude.

    • Reply
  • Abby
    VIP March 2019
    Abby ·
    • Flag
    If its them asking if they're invited, then definitely faux pas! That is so uncomfortable.
    • Reply
  • MrsV1027
    Master October 2018
    MrsV1027 ·
    • Flag

    I think most people who ask about it want to be invited so it's super awkward when it's someone you don't plan on inviting. They are just excited but it can still be awkward

    • Reply
  • Tara
    Master May 2020
    Tara ·
    • Flag
    It’s called being nosey! I simply smile and tell them that I’m keeping the guest list private.
    • Reply
  • Jen
    Super May 2018
    Jen Online ·
    • Flag

    I think it's a faux pas if they're asking if they are invited but asking if so and so is invited is curiosity. Plus, just because they asked doesn't mean you have to answer.

    • Reply
  • Melissa
    VIP October 2018
    Melissa ·
    • Flag

    It depends on the context - are they asking to be nosy? Is it mom asking if we remembered to invite aunt so and so? Is it a friend asking if another friend they don't get along with is invited?

    Some contexts it's fine. Some it's not.

    If someone asked about our guest list, we just said "we invited as many loved ones as we possibly could! You'll just have to see when you get there!"

    • Reply
  • Becca
    Super August 2019
    Becca ·
    • Flag
    If you recieved an invite, I I think it’s totally fine to ask. That way they know who they can talk wedding stuff with and who they probably shouldn’t. If they haven’t received an invite, I don’t think they should be askong
    • Reply
  • Madelyn
    Expert August 2019
    Madelyn ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Totally agree with this!
    • Reply
  • Kelly
    Legend October 2022
    Kelly ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    That's a good answer to give, it's vague enough where they can't ask a follow up question!

    • Reply

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