Fathers deceased/ Father Daughter Dance

What about both of you having a Mother dance? Something light hearted so you don't get too emotional?

I lost my father while in college and usually need to step out during the father-daughter dance at weddings because they make me so sad. For our wedding, considered not doing the traditional parent-child dances at all but I felt like I didn't want my MIL to miss out on dancing with her son, so we decided we would do a single parent-child dance where I dance with my mom and my husband dances with his mom. I was even fine with his sister dancing with his dad for the song as well so it was all the kids and all the parents (basically both immediate families), but I don't think that is happening. We picked one song that meant something to all of us. I personally would not feel right doing that dance with anyone outside of my immediate family.

If those songs make you super emotional in a sad way, I would say either nix the parent-child dances altogether, do a combined single husband-family member, wife-family member dance, or consider a solo dance with someone who shares your loss and love for your dad (I personally would not do the uncle, brother, FFIL, but would consider doing the dance with a brother or your mom who has also experienced that tremendous loss). For me, dancing with my mom while my husband was dancing with his mom felt like more of a celebration of our relationships with our moms vs me trying to fill the void of having lost my dad and not being able to do that tradition. Having a dance that was just me and my mom would have made my dad's absence feel more potent. Plus I don't feel like all of those "stare and watch" dances at weddings are really all that enjoyable for guests, so having them sitting and drinking drinks awkwardly for two songs (first dance, combined parent-child dance) just seemed better than three.

(Also sorry if the tenses seem weird. My husband and I had to have a Covid elopement, so we are married already, but still planning our wedding celebration for next year, when we'd do more of the wedding traditions we didn't get to do, including our parent-child dances.)

I understand. I am having the same problem. My father passed away a little over a month before my wedding. I am also looking for suggestions. Preferably a country song or something by the Beach Boys or Smokey Robinson.