Father offended at Wedding Invitation wording

My advice would be to ignore your father and just let him be offended. You can’t please everyone and if he’s barely been involved in your life, financially or otherwise, he doesn’t belong on the invitation anyway.

Mine will say the same thing...it will just be my Mom.
Does your father have a part in your ceremony? Or just a guest?

Mine is not a part of my wedding nor invited.

View Quoted Comment My mom is walking me down the isle but I still wanna do a dance with him at the reception.

Too bad for him. 🤷🏾‍♀️
You have to put in the work and effort for this. He didn’t. That was his choice. Guess he’ll have to stay mad because he didn’t do anything lol.

If he's not contributing to any funds to your wedding then he needs to go have his tantrum elsewhere but if he is contributing then I would've included him in the invitations.


Sounds like it has to do with the fact he probably doesn't want everyone know he isn't contributing anything to your wedding so really has nothing to do with you and everything to do with him.

I can see his point. You've got both of FI's parents on there, even though they aren't paying for the wedding, either, yet he wasn't even listed as your father. And you're judging him for having "some new woman every time," even though that hasn't affected your life in the slightest.

That being said, your invitations are already sent, so there is nothing you or he can do about them. And in the grand scheme of things, this is pretty trivial. If he can't get over it, then he's just being petty.

View Quoted Comment Yes but traditionally the person hosting goes on the top of the invitation. FH parents are listed as he is the son of. If they were hosting they would have been listed as requesting the presence of the guests as well.

There’s a possibly he’s not aware of why you worded it the way that you did. He could be thinking that both parents are normally named and that it’s not associated with contributions to the wedding. Seems like he feels disrespected without knowing the meaning behind it.

View Quoted Comment I explained it to him as well as how wording on invitations works but he insisted that he should have been included and that who pays shouldn’t matter. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I wouldn’t worry about it. He really hasn’t been there and isn’t contributing so too bad. Don’t let it get to you. Don’t engrave in it.

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But he wasn't even listed under "daughter of." It could have been, "Ms. moms name requests the honor of your presence at the wedding of her name, also daughter of Mr. dads name ."

View Quoted Comment That would have ruined the look of the invite of mine and FH names together. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️ Oh well.

View Quoted Comment Well, what’s done is done and he’ll have to get over it. Especially if you explained it to him and he still felt the need to be named.

Let him be offended. I would rather offend him with the truth (that he doesn’t deserve to be on the invitations) than offend your mom with a lie (making them equal in your life and the financial part of the wedding). He can be an adult and get over it. The problem there is that he doesn’t want to acknowledge he has no part in the wedding or your life.

View Quoted Comment Considering his long absence I think it's quite nice of you to even do a dance with him.

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Hosting is not the same as paying. Is your mother actually hosting the wedding, or are you? Wedding invitations are about hosting, not about listing who is paying for the wedding. But the most important etiquette rule is always to err on the side of not being unkind or singling someone out. It's really a moot point at this point, but leaving out one person in a 4-person group is conspicuous and gives the impression of being a pointed statement, whether or not that was the case. You could have simply done "Together with their families, bride and groom would like to request blah blah blah." But it's too late now, and I don't really blame him for being a bit upset at being effectively erased from your family, since you do still have a relationship with him and want him to participate in something at the wedding with you. I would start to try to make amends by apologizing for leaving him out and say that you didn't realize how it would appear until it was too late.

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Well, he's right that who pays doesn't matter. Your guests do not need to know who is paying for your wedding. They only need to know who is hosting your wedding. Two separate things that occasionally are embodied by the same people. Are you sending out the invitations, or is your mom? Are you collecting the replies, or is your mom? Are you making seating arrangements, choosing the meal options, figuring out the order of events, deciding who will be walked down the aisle in what order and escorted by whom, or is your mom? Etc. etc. If the people doing this are you and your fiance, then you are the hosts, not your mom. In that case she did not need to be listed on the invitation as the host. How much she spent (or didn't spend) on the wedding is immaterial. The point of listing the host is to let your guests know who to contact if they have questions about the event, not to let them know who is spending the most money.

View Quoted Comment I’m greek so traditionally the parents of the bride host the wedding. My dad is around he’s not absent but he has had no involvement in my wedding at all. Doesn’t even ask me how planning is going. He sends me conspiracy theories about Muslims trying to take over the world instead. 🤷🏻‍♀️ When making the invitations his name being on there didn’t even cross my mind tbh because he’s just never really been there for anything other than to complain why he doesn’t have money or properties in his name. But even right now he doesn’t work, he lives off of women while my mom works 3 jobs to contribute and let’s us live with her until we buy a home. So yes I felt that my mom is doing everything and this is the event she is hosting.

Ignore your day and be happy he will be alright. Its your day remember that your mom was your Mom and Dad. Thank God you still have your mom by your side because my mom my Queen passed in May 2016 so I want have her in my Wedding. So be happy on your special day I'm paying for my wedding and its not easy. Congrats to you

My advice to you is to advise him to get over it, the invitations are printed and sent out. Now if your feeling some type of way about it (I'm only saying you are because you choose to vent to us about it, so you must feel something), do the father daughter dance or think about having him make a toast.