Father not willing to contribute much

My dad was the same way. He almost died when I spent 450 on a wedding gown. He had no idea that my dress was considered cheap. I'd sit down with him and tell him that this is just one day. A very important day to you. The most important day. Your not trying to spend money on frivolous things all the time. My budget was also 5000. Maybe invite him over for dinner or go out and do something he likes to do maybe you can bring it up in a conversation. Good Luck.

I know how you feel my dad is el cheapo can't squeeze lemons to get lemonade.You could get married in City Hall and then do your church wedding or Gala wedding a yr later so you don't have to skimp on anything also if you book a wedding for Jan.March which are slow seasons you may get more for your dollar.Don't let your dad rain on your parade if you're going to get a 2nd job to pay for your dream wedding Try working for a PR firm that's very popular and you may get other things for free.Martine

I'm a little bit shocked because I don't think it is "tradition" anymore for the father to pay for the wedding. My parents are having nothing to do with paying for our wedding...that's up to us. If your father does not want to contribute then I suggest getting a job and paying for it yourself. I'm not trying to sound rude but time and time again it sounds like girls expect that their father's pay for it, and it's not really seen as a gift. I think that if people can't afford to have a wedding, they shouldn't be getting married, because they sure aren't going to be able to afford what comes after that. I do agree that your wedding is not that much, but I'm out of ideas for trying to make your dad believe that...I know how men are!

I don't think it's tradition for the father to pay for a wedding I have always considered it a gift and I feel like I'm working really hard to cut costs and be reasonable about the whole thing. However, for me if I had a child who was getting married I would want to do everything in my power to make it everything he/she wanted. It would bring me happiness to be able to do that for my child. I understand that I cannot expect my father to pay for anything and I see it as a gift that I will be greatful for. Because I know what I want I am getting a second job so that I can have it and I don't have any problem with that. Just know that I don't expect him to pay for anything, it would be nice of him, if I have to pay for everything myself I will.

I am almost 100% with Stephee. Its YOUR wedding, YOUR financial burden. If dad doesn't want to help out of the goodness of his heart, fine! He doesn't have to anyway. If mom wants to pay for the whole thing herself, great! But, she doesn't have to either. I think the real half of the battle for you is understanding that your not suppose to make anyone pay for anything, unless they've already told you they want to contribute financially. If your having a hard time coming up with the money to pay for the wedding, then look into your 2nd job. If that doesn't work out then consider moving back the date to give you and your man more time to save up. Sorry for you, but dadddy doesn't have to pay for anything. And, just because he doesn't, doesn't mean he doesnt deserve to be honored like anyone else who may have.

I am agree with Cristina about It's your wedding and it's your financial burden. I am sure your dad can support you in a different way not only financially. Try to find a ways you can adjust your budget and make a small and elegent wedding without contributions. Notice that you can find ways to save money on the dress, the reception and the flowers.

I understand how you might feel. My parents wanted to contribute, but my fiance's parents didn't. It was hurtful to both of us that they said no, since they are financially well-off. On the other hand, they were very offended that we had asked for any money at all. Different families just have vastly different attitudes toward money. Anyway, his parents ended up threatening not to come if we put a single dime on our credit cards (even though they weren't willing to help out.) Turns out they've always been very frugal- I just didn't know.

After plenty of crying, I changed our wedding date, changed the venue, and my fiance and I vowed to save up for it ourselves. It was a tough decision to make, because I didn't like the power play, but I also didn't want him to have to choose between me and them, and I felt like 100% crap after being verbally assaulted by girls on The Knot for not DIY'ing everything.

So have a wedding you'll be happy with, but keep perspective on relationships.

My husband and I have 5 children, 3 sons and 2 daughters, saying that, we have told all of them that we can only contribute a certain amount which is the same for all of them when they get married. 2 years ago my son got married, her family didn't pay a dime or do anything to help them. We gave them the choice of the money or for us to use that money to give the a reception. They chose the later. We did their whole reception with a sit down dinner that we cooked for 75 people for $1000. They only paid for the DJ If you want a nice wedding you can do it on a budget and still have fun. Maybe you can look into renting a community or park hall and ask your parents or friends about helping with cooking and then keep the cost down.