Family members that are taking not being invited to our wedding, personal.

As you have said, you made your intentions clear to everyone from the get go and had circumstances which further propagating that (COVID) so your position is understandably reasonable. The fact of the matter is, the people you have described will be bitter regardless of what you say or do. Your actions to date should have comforted them that there is no personal animosity that influenced your decision but yet they choose to side eye you and bicker about you anyway because they have taken it as a personal snub.

Personally, I encourage you to hold your head up high and act normally – do not give them the satisfaction of caving in and offering any apology or explanation – you will just be giving in to them and validating any resentment they feel despite your previous assertions that you wanted a small, intimate wedding. If anyone has the decency to actually ask you, be honest and tell them there was no intention to hurt anyone’s feelings but that you just wanted a very intimate wedding and if you invited more people it would have blown out of proportion.

You’re never going to satisfy everyone and, unfortunately, when you choose to go small and intimate others will feel left out. I would try to find a positive, like they’re upset because they would really like to spend the day celebrating you. The only thing you can do is, should they directly ask, remind them of why you made that decision and that it’s nothing personal. Your parents and bridal party can help reiterate the same message.

You just have to ignore it - people who say things like that want a rise, don’t give it to them.
How does everyone know - are your guests announcing it?

People really show their true colors with weddings unfortunately. Personally I don't think anyone is obligated to invite anyone, family or not (one reason I'm always honored to be invited maybe lol).

Weddings can bring out some real crazy people! It’s funny how they say you should remember where you came from but don’t check their own attitudes.
I have only my parents coming, my sister declined and the one invited aunt didn’t rsvp: dad’s side gets I want small and we aren’t close but they’re happy for me. Moms side is giving her some grief and are generally stuck up about not coming. They’ll get over it, but that’s their problem, not mine.
Your wedding is going to be perfectly you, so don’t let them get under your skin. You’re inviting the right people and the right number of them