My fiancé and I are currently planning to get married in the Summer of 2023. I wanted to get a head start on looking at potential venues and made a rough guest list to get an idea of how big/small the location should be. While showing my sister the list my mom walked in and asked to see it. I did not have my aunt and my other aunt's husband (from opposite sides of the family) on the list as my uncle has made me and my sister uncomfortable and my aunt has openly opposed my sister dating a mixed man because she claims it is "wrong".
My mother claimed I needed to invite my aunt because she wouldn't say anything but I do not agree with her beliefs and it makes me uncomfortable as many of our closest friends who we want there are different races. I know I will be distracted if she is there because I do not think I should have to have anyone "babysit" her so she doesn't say anything completely ignorant and make anyone uncomfortable. As for my uncle, they said if he hasn't actually done anything I can't exclude him because he's just "odd" and makes everyone uncomfortable.
I feel the only way to avoid this is to have a destination wedding and exclude everyone but immediate family and close friends but I don't want to be pushed into a decision to avoid discomfort for my parents (which was their primary concern with me not inviting them). My parents are helping pay for the wedding so I feel trapped. If I have a larger local wedding, do I have to sacrifice having people I do not want there (for very valid reasons in both my and my fiancé's opinions) to avoid issues for my parents?
