Extra Guests, please help!

YOU SEND RSVPS YOUR DEADLINE COMES YOU CALL ALL THE PPL WHO HAVENT RSVPED YOU MAKE A SEATING CHART NO NEED FOR A DOOR MAN.

just to lay it out plain and simple

and im with glenn include your FH dont let anyone walk all over your wedding

Ditto Analy.

Hey Lizzie i think i'm past the doorman part but thanks!

and yes Kathy 80 tables and only 20 used, but only 20 used for seating. Some of the rest will be moved around for food tables, candy buffet, cake table, grooms table, gift table, and ect. The rest i think i can put in a big closet but its going to suck having to put them all back.

Also i am going to talk to Fh about all of this, because like Glenn has said, this is really bothering me.

If you don't have him step in now, you're up the creek for the rest of your marriage. My husband tries very hard to keep the waters calm between all parties, but at some points he does have to just stick up for me and he has when it's necessary. Trust me, if you're not being walked on for this wedding, just wait until you have kids and she tries to tell you how to raise them, etc.

We kept this whole issue at bay by sending out our RSVP cards with " ____ seats have been saved in your honor" and they replied with " ____ persons will be attending" so we knew exactly how many people planned to come and how many to set up for. Everyone had a place card and if they didn't have a place card, they didn't belong at our wedding It cut a lot of confusion out of the whole ordeal and it was very clear to the guests how many seats were reserved for them.

I'm doing the reserved seating number on the rsvp card as well so i'm hoping that will help. But FH really does stand up for me a lot i just dont think he knows how much its really bothering me so i'll talk to him.

OMG never, never just open it up to anyone. You realy need to have an idea of who is definitely coming and right now it's so early. The one thing you will discover when it comes to guests is you can invite 200 but 150 may show up OR 250 may show up. You really dont know until you start sending out invites. What we did was have our Confirmed RSVP on the list. Now if people didn't RSVP they coudl hang around after the ceremony to see if someone No-Showed and just take their seat. That actually worked for us and we had like 15 people who could get a seat because some people no-showed. That kept us from losing money on plates people didnt come for. It's tricky but I definitely wouldn't just say "Oh anyone can come". How would you know how much FOOD to provide? What if 50 extra folks show up and you have food AND CAKE for 200. Then what about favors and table decore. You could really open up a can of worms.

Chelsea, I see that you've mentioned that you'll talk to FH about this, but you really need to be more assertive with both of them about it. Your FMIL needs to respect that you have your guest list, and this is not a kegger reunion for all of her friends. I know that you have mentioned your area is a "more the merrier" mentality - but if that is not what YOU want, YOU need to say so. Are you providing meals for everyone? Or just finger food? Either way, people need assigned seating and you need a final count for whatever drinks/food you are ordering.

I would also do what you just said = DEFINITELY put those extra tables and chairs away. If extra people show up, your parents and your future in laws need to respect whatever decision you come to. If you say the words "No RSVP? No seat" BOTH sets need to enforce that. If you lay back and let it happen, it is going to become chaos. If you are uncomfortable with "the more the merrier" attitude - stand up for yourself. Period.

Thanks!

OMG!!!!!!!!!!! Hell No! Let me tell you how Im handling mine: Im doing assigned seating, my hostesses and wedding coordinator will have a list of persons invited and those who returned rsvps; for those who think they are going to show up and have a seat... they are truly mistaken, because they will not have a place setting, they will not have a seat, and they will look and feel out of place.

I would plan for the allowed amount. Those centerpieces aren't cheap.

No rsvp= no dinner no centerpiece.

Chelsea, Your FMIL is never going to respect you if your man doesnt set her straight.It is his place and responsibility to talk to his mother, not yours. My FMIL is insane but FH put her in her place. Now she backed off and let us do our thing. She helps us a lot but doesn't try to take over like she was doing before. If my man had a problem with my mother, I would not expect him to talk to her about it.

Oh, and good luck.