Ever Demote or Have a Moh/bridesmaid Step Down??

View Quoted Comment I would be really straight forward with her about the communication problem though. Just tell her “I need XYZ from you and you’re not helping by not giving me any options and it’s making it difficult to get this planned, can we find a solution together?”

View Quoted Comment Thank you. She's visiting this weekend so hopefully we can find something.

I feel your MoH is trying to tell you something. Maybe she cannot afford the dress, wedding gift, travel expenses, etc. or maybe she would be more comfortable in another role. I would (sooner rather than later) gently ask her if she would prefer to do something else in the wedding. Also, friendships sometimes have an expiration date. It’s no ones fault, no one said or did anything wrong, you just simply grow apart. If she’s traveling to your area and not telling you, then you may want to ask yourself if this is an expired friendship. In that case, find another friend who will be responsive and share your joy on your special day!

I remember the line you were looking at! I looked through it and now I'm curious- there were several styles that looked like they would be accomodating with a bra- no low back, and wide straps or short sleeves. Were there really no styles from that entire line that she liked? It sounds to me like she's being really unreasonable. I hope you get it figured out when she comes to visit!

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I haven't thought about it. Like I don't understand why she would tell me after the fact that she was even out here but as far as not affording the dress, etc, it would have been nice to know sooner to keep all this from happening. I'll definitely talk to her about it when she gets here. Thanks.

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The most recent line we were looking at (Adrianna Papell), isn't really bra friendly but she absolutely refused to even try to talk to a stylist to see if anything could be worked out so I left it alone because I really don't want to fight over a dress . Rather than giving me some kind of insight with photos, she just keeps declining everything and it's getting real irritating. Within the next week, I'm really hoping we can come to an agreement on something.

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I really hope you can! Make sure you remember to take some time to de-stress too- this sounds really frustrating.

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Definitely! Thank you

View Quoted Comment It sounds like she has kind of told you what she needs to be comfortable but you aren’t listening to her. She has told you she needs to wear a bra and you are still pushing a designer that you yourself recognizes doesn’t design dresses that bras can be worn with. I think an in person conversation will be good, but you need to be sensitive to what she is telling you she needs to be comfortable. If you aren’t willing to do that then ask her to step down and most likely end your friendship with her.

I mean I personally cant wear anything strapless cause its impossible to find a bra with it but for smaller chested girls probably wouldnt think twice about it. And if she is paying for alterations, thats gonna get really pricey for her to alter the dress you chose. I’d just give her a color and say pick whatever dress you want since shes MOH. And if she gives you an issue beyond that, then she probably shouldnt be in the wedding. Just be prepared if you kick her out that will probably end the friendship even though she pretty much caused it

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I've noticed after the fact that most dresses from the designer won't work. I have another top heavy bridesmaid who at least tried it on and ended up changing her mind. I was just frustrated at the fact that she wouldn't even try and previously has been quite silent with any ideas or photos to go off of even when I ask. I'm not trying to fight over a dress. She'll be here in the next few days so we're going to look around to see if we can find something while she's out here. We'll see what happens.

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Yea, I understand that. I just want to make sure it's at least by the same designer. The other girls liked the dress. I'm not choosing anything. If they all end up liking the same dress then that's fine. I just want to make sure the dresses are at least by the same designer though to make sure the dye dot is the same. Since this designer seems like a lost cause for my MoH, we're going to look for dresses for her when she gets here in a few days and have the other girls work around it.

View Quoted Comment You could consider just having them all pick different styles in the same color from the same designer. I did that and it was so much easier than trying to pick a dress that worked on everyones body type. And it looked good in pictures!

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That's what I've been trying to accomplish from the beginning. It started off that way with the most recent designer but either I didn't care for the dress or it didn't work for my MoH. That's why now we're just going to (hopefully) find a dress for my MoH and see if the other girls can find something by the same designer. They've been more open minded with just about everything so hopefully there won't be an issues this time around.