Evening Wedding - kids or no kids?

Celia has a perfect answer hopefully she'll post. The short answer is no you don't have to invite kids.

How do you politely say no?

Our wedding was from 6-10pm, we invited kids that were in the family (like cousins and our nieces of course...who were flower girls).

We did not invite friends' kids (to cut the guest list primarily)...even though one friend thought Mr & Mrs meant "and family"...ugh... was sooo annoyed at that, just cause they don't eat much doesn't mean its okay to bring your uninvited bratty kids to a wedding.

And guess which ones were the least behaved? yup! the uninvited ones!

I would say though, if you're having flower girls/ ring bearers, it would be very rude to not invite them to the wedding (some disagree and say its "okay" to lock them up in a "kids room"...i think this is beyond rude) With that said..it would also be rude to put lingo like "adult only reception" if you're having flower girls. If you're not having flower girls/ring bear than you can absolutely cut the kids and say "adult only reception".

Thank you, yes we have 6 nieces and nephews. But only two are in the wedding.

We are not inviting kids at ours....but that hasn't stopped some of our guests from politely letting us know that either they will be bringing their babies or they're not coming at all! What an ultimatum!

No kids for our evening wedding, which is why we also chose not to have a ring bearer or flower girl.

Nope, 21 and up, except for my honorary little sister (16.5), who was a bridesmaid. The venue charged the full, adult rate, for guests 13 and up; plus anyone under 13, who would prefer the adult meal.

No kids, that's my vote... always!

I vote no kids especially at an evening reception. If you are having no children, only address the invitation to the people actually invited. If someone asks you can they bring their children, just have a polite but firm response prepared.

Also having an evening wedding. I will allow my bridesmaids' children to attend if they chose. Some of them already said they are getting babysitters, lol

I am having the invited guests names printed on the RSVP and I'm hoping people get the hint

1. You don't have to allow kids. But you need to understand that if you do not, it may be impractical for out of town guests with children to attend.

2. The way to indicate that children are not invited is to put only the parents' names on the envelope for the invitation, and have an RSVP card that says, for example, "Two seats have been reserved in your honor." If you use online RSVPs, you can actually prevent people from sending RSVPs for more than the number invited. But if people put more in on a paper RSVP card, or call and ask about having their kids come, you have to be firm. You'll alienate a lot more people if you let some kids come and not others.

I'm also having an evening reception and we're not inviting kids except for our FG and RB. People are pretty understanding of it. I also included it on our wedding website (details and FAQ section) to clarify:

Is this an adult-only occasion?

While we'd love to have all the little ones join in on the festivities, we'd like to give our guests and parents the opportunity to let their hair down for the night & enjoy the evening off! We hope this advance notice means you are still able to share our big day.

Here ya go....Sorry for the cut and paste, but this literally comes up once a day.

You've gotten good advice. Invite all of them or none of them. Don't put it on the invite, just make it very clear who is invited. And be prepared to let people know that you cannot host kids. (The exception being, of course, your own and any in the BP). It is your party, you get to host the way you want; they don't bring univited kids; they simply don't come.

Having witnessed over 1000 weddings at this point, I can tell you that it is a rare wedding that is really enjoyable for children, and they have a way to make that very clear. It's a long day, often a late day, and it seems from the conversations here, too many couples add the 'how do we entertain/watch over/protect children at our wedding' to the long list of stuff you have to worry about and pay for. Most of them are on their ipads or phones as soon as they can be, they get bored and noisy and distracting, and it costs money to have them there

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Small children can be very cute but that usually lasts for less time than you think; it's simply not an event structured for their attention span. They can't be treated like props; they are used to being the center of attention, a spot that is reserved for the couple.

I know that some couples feel that they can't imagine having a wedding without all the kid in their families, and more power to them. But for a vast majority of couples, 'all or nothing', put across in the most gracious BUT, "It's our choice" way possible is the way to go.

Practice in front of the mirror. "We're sorry, we cannot accommodate children. We'd love to have you join us, but we'll understand if you cannot."

We have a very late wedding. 7-12:30. We are not having kids. Part of the reason is that not many of the guest have kids. The other reason is that we feel like having 2-3 year olds at a wedding that late is just asking for disaster. We feel like our wedding is much more adult friendly, so we did not feel that having children was necessary. On the other hand, my sister is getting married in May of 2017 and IS having children. Difference is that many of her friends have young children so it may be better for her to allow them. It is all a matter of preference.

We didn't have any kids at our evening wedding, none of the bridal had kids and we purposely didn't have ring bearers or flower girls for that reason, like RingaroundtheRoushes. That was including a lot of out of town guests, some who flew from overseas for the wedding, but no one complained to us or our parents, they took it as a vacation away from their kids, lol.

All good ideas. Thanks ladies

Do things like venue, timing, personal preference, factor in? Yes.

Can weddings with children be wonderful & awesome & if you don't know the asshole kids Celia seems to encounter everywhere (I've seen them, but thank god my friends & family's children are all wonderful), it can be phenomenal.

You didn't state your preference, so if you like kids & you know good eggs, don't let people deter you.

I am having a ceremony and reception 6-12. Adult reception only.

We are having a few kids. But two are ours. So we arnt against kids at the wedding lol. I know some guests have already informed me they will not be bringing their kids.

If you are having an evening reception I go with adults only. We are having family children (nieces, nephews, and a fews cousins kids as they are teenagers and travelling from abroad) which is about 12 (to many in my opinion but cant do anything about it, that's what's In the imidate family) thankfully here, we don't seam to have the same issues regarding guests bringing kids, most people here assume children can't go unless specifically invited. We're haveing a full day and evening so bar the two older ones I would expect all kids are gone by 9 or 10pm at the latest.most are organising a babysitter through the hotel. The evening part of a wedding always contains more drinking, and it's not the place for small kids.