Evening Wedding - kids or no kids?

I'm having kids at my wedding. 12 to be exact. I never understood why having kids at a wedding is such a "no no" but thats just me. You need to do whatever YOU want. That being said, if you do invite kids and have a later wedding I'm sure those that do have kids probably won't bring them.

We had a 5-1030pm wedding and had 9 kids (ages 1-15) in attendance. We invited the kids in the family (incidentally all of families who had to travel) and our local friends were just invited with spouses. We addressed invitations either "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" or "Mr and Mrs Jones, Bobby Jones and Susie Jones" and we had no one try to bring kids that we didn't explicitly invite. For people who have to travel and have kids that you don't plan to invite, do not expect them to come. They will have to choose to either leave their kids at home (for a few days), or find a babysitter in an area they are not familiar with. All of the children we invited had fun and were well-behaved. We did give some of my older cousins jobs, like passing out the programs, videoing the ceremony, they were happy to oblige.

My cousin's daughter (age 3) did not want to leave the dance floor

My SD (age 12) dancing with BIL, she couldn't be pried away either

My two cousins (ages 10 and 13) enjoying the sparklers

What if a close cousin has 5 kids and you really only want 2/3 to come? lol

Kids are invited to ours, but we'll have an onsite babysitter upstairs if they get bored or sleepy. Best of both worlds imo.

They're not "asshole kids"; they are kids acting like kids in an environment that is not kid friendly...

I'm having a five hour open bar starting at 7pm. In my opinion not an environment conducive for children.

I invited only my niece and nephew but to me they weren't really "kids" as they were 13 and 11 at the time. My nephew didn't come so the youngest person there was a teenager. I would have maybe been ok with kids there except the only kids that would have been invited were DHs cousins kids and they are nightmares at weddings. Sweet kids overall, just no one has ever told them how to act in adult situations. I've been to multiple weddings with these 2 girls and I've seen cartwheels across the dance floor such that no one else could dance, screaming at the top of lungs, and at one point when one at 18 MONTHS OLD she was fed SIX cupcakes. Granted, that last one was not her fault, but still. Grown adults would end up sick eating that much cake and they just kept feeding it to her. She was turning green (literally!) and I kept trying to gently tell each new person how many she had already had but they would always say it was fine and that she was a LASTNAME so she could take it! Major facepalm.

The only kids are in our family. And we told a couple of our friends they can bring their babies if they're so inclined (all under 2 years old). Not all of them will, most probably won't-like my MOH is coming from out of state but she's pretty sure she's going to ask her Aunt to baby sit that night. She said she wanted to focus her attention on me that night not the baby.

Honestly I wouldn't if I didn't have kids or have kids in my immediate family. But, I couldn't imagine not having my nieces and nephews there. The last wedding in my family couple of months ago did a no kid wedding. I did not care one bit. I know my MIL didn't like it when we went to FH cousin's wedding and it was no kids. She chose not to go! So IDK. I think it's petty and ppl shouldn't care. But they do, sometimes. It's up to you. Your day your way

Thank you everyone

We aren't having kids mostly based on budget and venue size, but also I've never felt that weddings were a place for children and I always hated going to them when I was younger. The only kid we are having is our nephew because he will be in the wedding party. Other than that, I'm practicing saying no because we just can't accommodate them.

It sounds like you have some VIPs (siblings) with kids, so personally I'd invite them. You don't need to tell people no if you choose not to, you just invite the parents.

My wedding is starting at 4, so a little earlier then yours but we are having children at our. I work as a nanny and having those children there would mean the world to me. We are also having a kids table though. It will have coloring and other activities on it to keep the children busy.

Well, Celia, per usual, I beg to differ.... entirely. Considering I have been to many adult events where the children behave themselves perfectly, it has nothing to do with "being a kid." You can be a kid and not be a screaming, crying ass. I know literally dozens and dozens of them. I've been to the Opera with children. I've been to the Vatican with children. I've been to Broadway shows with children.

So, let's quit using that excuse, eh? It's getting sad. You can do whatever you want, but clearly you just don't like kids (which is fine) and your'e too afraid to say that.

Wow I love the PP's kid pictures! Especially @m's last pic, what a personality!!

It is definitely a personal choice, depends a lot on your family, the ages of the kids, the vibe of your reception, your priorities...

I am also having a 6-12 ceremony and reception in the same place. We are hiring a band and the venue is a large music hall on the beach. We are not really "formal" people and the wedding will have a more casual vibe. I do think kids would be more out of place at a more formal event. I don't think the kids in our families will feel out of place at an event with an open bar, but every family is different.

We don't have a lot of friends with kids, but we have a lot of kids of all ages in our families. Having all our cousins with us for the wedding is a high priority for us. Some of FH's cousins are under 18, and of course we want to invite them. My cousins are older but many have kids. I know some would not attend if we didn't include their children. I have actually already gotten inquiries about whether children will be included as people plan their summer vacations. One cousin I grew up very close to moved his family across the country several years ago. There is no way he would be able to swing a vacation without the kids, and beyond that, I love his kids and I want them to be there. So, we made it known early on that kids will be invited. Well, I found out a couple weeks ago that he has put in for two weeks vacation this summer and will be making the trip for the wedding! I'm so happy he and his family will be there.

But really, it is a personal choice for you and your FH. Think about the vibe of your event, the space, your family and friends/who you really want to be there. I don't think evening reception should be the deciding factor, kids can stay up late or leave early, their parents will figure it out if they want to be there.

ETA: As long as I can remember, I have loved going to weddings. But when I was young, I was happy to have a chance to visit with my cousins at a big family event. I'm sure I would have felt differently if I was the only kid at an adult event. I do think it's problematic when you only have one or two kids and all the other guests are adults. The only weddings I've been to where I remember kids behaving badly or getting in the way was where the only ones invited were RB/FG and they had no one else to talk to or play with. Weddings where there was a whole table of kids? Didn't even notice, the bride told me later they were there and I was shocked. So number of kid invitees involved also plays a part in the decision.

The bottom line, is that if you don't want kids, don't invite kids and don't cave to people who want to invite them themselves.

I personally don't care one way or another, but I think that people hosting a wedding should be able to do what they want without getting guilt from their family and friends.

And it's not an excuse; as you can see from many, many postings on this thread and other, it's reality. You just know the best behaved angels on the planet.

And I don't NOT like kids; I just don't like them in situations that are not appropriate for them with parents who don't keep track of them. And in my experience? That is most of the time.

No, just good, normal kids with quality parenting, solid upbringing, and each one has been taught respect. I know a few brats, but their parents are usually assholes too. Monkey see, monkey do.

We allowed kids at ours but our reception ended at 10pm. Those with kids will just leave earlier than the others.

Our reception was from about 4-8 and some people with kids left a little early, but it definitely made it easier for people to attend who either had nursing infants or don't have regular childcare in town.

There were zero issues with kids misbehaving that I'm aware of. My DH's teenage nieces love babies and took it upon themselves to ask couples with infants if they wanted the girls to hold the babies so that the couples could go dance. The toddler age kids had a little corner of the floor and danced the night away. If your friends and family are good parents and considerate people, you don't have to worry about a screaming kid not being taken out of the ceremony or someone touching the cake, because their parents will actually be keeping an eye on their kids like most parents do.

Rustic Country Bride, it's completely your prerogative whether to invite kids or not, depending on your budget, venue space, how close you are to any of the kids who would be invited, etc. But it's something that I think people stress out about more than they need to.