ETIQUETTE QUESTION: Registry Info and Invitations

I wouldn't do it. But some people have no problem with it. I guess it really depends on your family/social circle. If that's done often, your guests probably won't think it's tacky or rude.

I just shrug when I get invites with registry information included, but I won't be doing it that way. It doesn't offend me per se, but I think those registry cards take away from the prettiness of the stationery that you chose, and I always click through the couple's wedding web site anyway.

I don't even really want gifts. I wanted to do a honeymoon registry but how would anyone even know about it?

I hear ya though. Back in the day people did this and honestly I don't see anything wrong with it. In fact, I like knowing I bought someone what they truly wanted.

I think shower invites -- baby or bridal shower -- are different than wedding invitations. The shower is meant to be a gift-giving event, whereas the wedding isn't necessarily a gift-giving event. You will probably receive gifts, but that isn't the point of the wedding.

IMO, I DO think it's a faux pas to include registry info on the wedding invite. Including the registry info implies that the invitation is contigent upon a gift -- which I don't think is the message you want to send. You might receive registry cards from the places where you've registered, but I wouldn't include them. The stores want to receive more business; they aren't concerned with etiquette.

Like Desiree said, take into account what is common in your social circle. One of my friends recently included registry info with her invite. You should have heard the mothers/grandmothers commenting about it. Their tongues were wagging!

We put registry info on our website rather than the invites.

It's not about the gifts...it's about getting the question OVER and OVER AND OVER again... we sent our Save the Dates out a couple of months ago and I've already gotten that question over a dozen times... I haven't registered and quite frankly don't know where the heck I'm registering or what we even need... we are both 30 somethings with our separate established households... I just really wanted to hear everyone's opinions. We have lots of older family members and friends joining who aren't internet savvy and won't be accessing the internet... ok, keep the opinions and thoughts coming please.

Thanks!

It really is rude.

A shower invitation and a wedding invitation are two different things.

Put your web address on or included with the invitation. On your website, have a registry tab. People can find the info there, and it is considered perfectly acceptable.

If I got an invite with registry info included (has never happened to me), I would absolutely be offended. I once saw a bride on facebook posting info about how her honeymoon registry was closed and everyone should bring cash only, no giftcards or presents. My jaw DROPPED. If I had been invited to that wedding, I would not have gone and I would have NOT sent a gift.

Shower invitation - yes.

Wedding invitation - hell no.

Ok... so I guess the final answer is HELL NO. Ok... got it. Thanks, ladies! LOL

Congrats to each of you and I wish you all the best on your special days!!

It's really rude, and it's really the question of basic etiquette, not personal opinions. Although some people think that etiquette rules are just for stuffy higher circles or outdated, that's a whole different debate. In meantime, etiquette is one of the things that differentiates between us and some other life forms.

There are many questions many brides are getting before the wedding, and none of them can be solved by writing down the response. It's just life. Many couples getting married these days have fully equipped households. But registries do not have to have household items. Ultimately, people who really, really, really don't want gifts, say so.

I don't get why including the registry info implies that the invitation is contigent upon a gift?

As a child and the few weddings I have gone to there is a table sky high with presents. I wouldn't dream of showing up to a wedding empty handed.

I'm not one to expect gifts and chances our I will not include registry info with the invite. I also will not do a wedding website i think that is good for large weddings with alot of OOT guests.

I think this is one of those new things that everyone has jumped on the band wagon about. Just how everything has to be PC.

ugh...i'm irritated. : )

Thanks again everyone. Great feedback and much appreciated. I see this is very much a sensitive point for several of you who are quite passionate about not including registry info in the invites; only on the website. TRUST ME... I hear you... you're saying, tell 'em... just don't tell 'em with your wedding stationary (very rude)... only on your website that you should include somewhere in the invitation (that's acceptable). Ok... got it.

By the way...didn't mean to ruffle any feathers, just was seeking some feedback and I definitely got it. I know I can always depend on my fellow WW friends.

Thanks again...

Diane M - I don't think it implies you asking for gifts any more than actually going to register and then putting the information on the website that you are directing your guests to view... but I do agree that those little slips of paper may take away from the invitation itself.

I love these passionate conversations, they are very informative and really help you to put things into perspective.

I sincerely appreciate my fellow WW friends and thank you all of you for your input. Happy Friday!!

I wouldnt do it either. sounds like you are expecting gifts. i think that information generally goes inside the bridal shower invite

Got it, Deb B. Thanks!

Rhonda if your talking about my feathers it's okay...they can get ruffled. lol

I just think once upon a time it was okay to do this....when did it become rude and who made that decision?

If it's so rude than one would think when someone asks where you are registed you just say ...oh no, no gifts for me.

I will drop it...feathers un-ruffled. xoxo

No ruffled feathers here : )

Glad to be able to help, and good luck planning! Have you registered yet? This was one of our favorite parts!

Diane M. - LOL! I'm glad your feathers are un-ruffled! That makes me smile on this beautiful Friday!!

Jamie B. - I'm glad your ruffles are in tact as well! No, I've not registered any where and really need to get to that pretty soon. Time is ticking down... 99 days and counting.

Unruffled feathers here too :-) This particular topic actually doesn't bother me that much. What bothers me is the idea (or hint of the idea) that etiquette doesn't matter. I'm not saying that was your intent :-) but that usually ruffles my furcoat.

I wouldn't do it myself, but I don't know that it would bother me that much in someone else's. But I also know from this board and other experiences that wedding etiquette varies vastly across the country. If you have seen it in invitations before and it was perfectly acceptable, go for it.

Mrs. S....lolol Mine too.

I always say gifts are a wedding's pink elephant in the room. In my culture, gifts are usually cash. Very few gifts are given & if they are, they are sent to the home so the guest doesn't have to schlep them to the wedding. That gift is something big, like an expensive place setting, crystal or silver. However, a physical gift is rare.

The majority of us would not dream of attending a wedding w/out bringing a gift, but we just have to pretend that the birdcage(which I hate, btw, & my daughter had) or card box is in the room. My old school culture(Italian) uses bridal purses. This way it functions as a place to stash your hankie and lipstick and a place to put your cards. It was the only thing I asked my daughter to do for me on her wedding day. Yes, guests used her birdcage, but the majority used her bridal purse. Is there a difference between including the info, using the cage/box or purse? Who knows?