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Sara
Expert August 2021

Etiquette on bachelorette party and bridal shower

Sara, on December 23, 2020 at 10:39 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 10
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Like many of you, I had to cancel both my bridal showers, my bachelorette party, and then my wedding. We got married in our backyard with just our parents. We still plan on a "real wedding" in August 2021. We tied the knot because of insurance purposes.
So my question is, is it okay to still have a bridal shower? Or a bachelorette party? Even though I am no longer a bachelorette and I'm already married? We didn't really announce to anyone that we were getting married. It was literally planned on a Tuesday and married on Saturday. But we did have some people send us cards afterwards because we posted on Facebook that we were married. I didn't expect anything from anyone but I do hate that I missed out on both events. Thoughts?

10 Comments

Latest activity by Yasmine, on December 23, 2020 at 7:36 PM
  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    If people offer to throw you these parties, I don't see any issue with having them.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    I agree with this. Typically this is a no no, but with COVID, things are different. If people know that you are married and offer to host or attend these events, go for it.

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  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
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    Before COVID this would have been etiquette taboo, but everyone has had to do things differently because of it so it's not uncommon.

    If people offer to throw those parties for you, then that's completely fine! Just don't throw/host them yourself!

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  • Sara
    Expert August 2021
    Sara ·
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    I guess my biggest issue here is I had to plan them myself the first time around. Two aunt's, one on each side of the family, offered to host showers at each of their houses but for the actual planning I had to do everything. They both basically said yeah we want to throw you a shower at our house but you need to make all decisions and bring the food.
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  • A
    Devoted May 2021
    Ally ·
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    Yes I definitely think its okay. People should understand what happened was out of your control and you shouldnt not get to have these events. And you dont have to call it a bachelorette party, just a night out with your friends. The bridal shower is a chance for people to celebrate your marriage and give you gifts they were likely going to give anyway so I dont see the problem
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  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
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    That's....not okay....I'm sorry that was the case! The only things you should really have a big part in when it comes to planning is setting the date and time! Smiley sad If they do offer to throw them this time around, just politely tell them that you are grateful for their offer, but don't want to end up becoming the one planning and throwing it.

    I hope someone else offers and that those said persons plan it well! Smiley heart

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  • Sara
    Savvy July 2021
    Sara ·
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    I'm still doing both. However, for the shower we're doing a stock the bar party. It'll be nice to still do this and not have a traditional shower. We're going to have guests bring nice spirits like wine, whisky, etc. And I guess you could say bar 'accessories'. For my bachelorette party, doing something more relaxing and renting a suite out over the salon&spa I go to. We'll have Manis and lots of other pampering. Going to try and keep the bachelorette party simple and relaxing. Hope this helps 🙏
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  • Milada
    Super October 2021
    Milada ·
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    I'm having a minimony in April but doing my bridal shower and bachelorette party in October, the same weekend as our big wedding. I suppose it would be taboo any other year but with Covid 2020 - anything goes. My bridesmaids also had the idea to have my bachelorette party during my 31st birthday which is in July.

    There's definitely nothing wrong with doing these special events after the fact. If you have friends and family who will attend and celebrate them with you, I say go for it.

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    You really need to announce that you have already married and be honest with your guests. Those who throw the parties are assuming you are not married yet and will be offended when they find out otherwise. Those are parties hosted for unmarried women only, regardless of Covid. This type of thing is common with military couples and not received well by their guests either because people do find out what you hope they don't.
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  • Yasmine
    Master October 2020
    Yasmine ·
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    We got married in October and our wedding is scheduled for March 2021. My 2 MOH still plans on throwing me a bridal party!
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