Engagement ring not actually my taste

I personally think it's the meaning behind the ring and the commitment your FH is making to you. I can also say that I can't really relate to how you're feeling since I love my ring.....

For what it's worth, I think your ring is beautiful.

But, you have already spilled the beans to him about it and he seems ok with changing it so you both should do that. I think if you don't change it, resentment will breed.

I have friends that have been married a decade or more that still lament over not loving their ring (though they have never told their husbands as much). Better to say something now.

@ Olivia

I love that he picked the ring himself and gifted it to me. I wouldn't have that same feeling if with the new ring so I'm thinking about keeping it. We'll probably just design or pick out our bands together.

I think it's okay to have a little bit of uncertainty about your ring, it is such a big symbol and something you probably dreamed about your whole life!! But at the end of the day your FH picked it out for you as a sign of his commitment, so no matter what it looks like that makes it pretty special!! But it sounds like he's okay with changing it so it's up to y'all!

Yes, and ungrateful. There are women who would say yes to a string and you're focused on taste. Maybe you're not ready to say "I do". You have a great guy who's working two jobs and saved up for your ring and "it's not your taste". Smh

I didn't like my ring either but unfortunately, it took me a year to open up my mouth. My FH took it pretty good as well, and his only disappointment was that I didn't speak up immediately.

After talking it out, I learned he wasn't as involved in the design process as much as I thought. He allowed the designer (fucking friendor) to dictate what HE thought I wanted. Anyway, I'm now getting the style of ring I wanted to begin with.

Like OliviaP said, you'll hear a mixed bag of opinions on this, but I think it's good you spoke up, even though it was initiated by him - it still takes guts.

Look, you can be grateful and appreciative but still not like it. It's such incredible horseshit that you must FORCE yourself to like something YOU have to wear for the rest of your life.

@ Powers2

Thank you for the advice. I'm glad that he took the news well and that I was able to talk to him about it.

Try wearing it more and see if it grows on you. Personally I loved the surprise with mine and that FH picked it out. There was one feature on it that I wasn't thrilled about on mine but now I absolutely love it.

If you have already told him, the worst is over. And he took it well, so kudos to your FH for having an open mind, a level head, and being empathetic to his bride.

It is a very pretty ring but if it's not your style and you have admittedly not been wearing it often because of that, I would see if you can find a different one. In my mind, not wearing something he worked so hard to get for you is worse than swapping it out for something you will love and wear all the time. I don't believe you should have to force yourself to wear something you don't like or enjoy wearing.

Yes a ring is a symbol but it's also an accessory, a piece of jewelry, and it should be something the bride loves to put on. It will still symbolize the same exact thing if you exchange it, and it won't make the ring any less meaningful or make you any less engaged, any less in love, or any less committed to each other.

ETA: it doesn't make you ungrateful, as PP have said. Not at all. Just remember, this is a personal decision and just because some people wouldn't do it even if they hated the way their ring looked, it doesn't mean that that's "right" or "better." You do what works for you and FH. Whatever decision you make, if you and your FH are both happy with it, will be the right one.

A "wise" woman once told me to suck it up, that's what milestone anniversaries are for...upgrades. LOL. Mine is a bit "showy" for me. I don't know why he chose this thinking of me. I am so crafty and my hands are always dirty.

It's a gorgeous ring, but I completely understand how something can be beautiful and still not suit your taste. I always knew I didn't want a large e-ring, however I don't know if I ever actually told FH that. Luckily he knows me well and picked out exactly what I would have picked for myself! I think it's good you talked to your FH about your feelings on the ring. You can think it's gorgeous and love that he gave it to you, but still not love how it looks on you. Glad he wasn't upset when you told him!

@GymRat

Thank you! My FH said that he went to the jeweler and they just told him what was popular in his price range. I'm glad that he's so understanding. The ring is really important to me so I'm thinking about just having it redone

@Kendra - she doesn't sound very wise.

LOL @GymRat I was thinking the exact same thing...

If he's working so hard to support your fam and wedding expenses, the ring should not be priority. Just upgrade later on.

I think its gorgeous, but I understand. I dated a guy years ago that had broken off a 4 year (engaged) relationship. When I asked why, he said they were "blissfully happy" for 2 years until he proposed with a ring she didn't like. She asked to get a different ring, and he said he never got over it. It was the beginning of the end. My FH is easily offended so when we started talking seriously, with that horrible story in mind, I said we should go pick out a ring together. It's the only jewelry I'll ever wear and I want to love it. And after I picked it, I asked him to point out what he would have picked. Soooo glad we went together lol. He likes busy jewelry and I like simple. But i probably would have worn what he picked and not said anything to avoid hurting his feelings. I'm glad you were able to tell FH how you feel.

I didn't like mine at first but I have learned to love it bc I know it was something FH designed with me in mind.

@GymRat and @AmandaG. Hence the quotations around wise.

@Kendra, yes makes more sense ha!

I think you should love your ring. I'm glad you were able to open up with your FH and he understood. I think his reaction is an indication of you NOT being foolish.

Also, you didn't ask this, but I don't think you should ask for permission to like/dislike something or be upset about something. Your concerns are always valid. It's beautiful that you were able to talk to your FH about it and he understood. You were able to put together a plan that works for you and I think that's perfect. Good luck!!